


The Light Shines On You

by orphan_account



Category: High School AU - Fandom, One Direction (Band), liam payne - Fandom, zayn malik - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Normal High School, Angst, Coming Out, F/M, Fluff, Harry and Louis are antagonists kind of, Hella Fluff and Angst and everything, Liam Payne - Freeform, M/M, Modern Setting, Romance, Sexual Content, YOOOOO, Zayn Malik - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-01
Updated: 2015-04-12
Packaged: 2018-01-10 19:15:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 23
Words: 54,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1163451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam was finally starting senior year. He wanted to be done with everything. He wanted to go back to Wolverhampton even if his life depended on it. The only one he socialized with was Niall Horan, another friend from the European region. He just wanted to pursue his life after high school.</p><p>But sometimes, when you meet someone like Zayn Malik, things can go for a twist. Liam doesn't know what to feel when he sets his eyes on him. He's so confused and so dried up from words, he cannot even form a complete sentence generally. Liam still has the desire to leave Seattle, but the one thing that stops him happens to be Zayn Malik himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It begins! The Ziam fanfiction, the one my friend gave me the suggestion about. I'm interested to see how this will work.

He always hated this place.

Liam preferred to have been in a more open environment where he truly belonged. A place where he could go running for miles, just sightseeing at all of the places and people. That feeling was what he felt when he was in Wolverhampton was his true happiness. But his family had to move to Seattle, Washington. It was the only way their parents could keep their jobs, he had to say goodbye to everything. Even his sisters who had to stay behind as they were older and secured their own jobs. But he was forced to move in the middle of primary schooling, and here he is. Senior Year, the first day of school.

He sighed while he recollected his thoughts. The 1st period hasn’t even started yet and Liam is already going off in his mind. It’s like a drum that beats words endlessly until they taste dull. If there was a crown for over thinking, Liam would take that in a heartbeat.

 There was a sudden tap at his desk as a cup of Starbucks coffee’s smell swiveled into his head now. Only one person knows his coffee order that well.

“Thank you, Niall” Liam reassured, facing the blonde tipped boy. His shinning blue eyes were glowing right at him while his lightship hair was quaffed upwards. He smiled, letting his pearly whites show his mood off.

“You know it!” his Irish accent came out, he continued to smile while sipping his drink. As he sat down right beside him, the bell had started to ring. It was like a mating call, students of all shapes and sizes flocked in wearing their uniforms that were just a size too small. And just like that, the chatter begun from all directions.

“Liam, what are your classes?” Niall said loudly, trying not to be drowned out by the noise. Before Liam had a chance to respond, he snatched the papers on Liam’s desk and analyzed them, furrowing his eyebrows. “No way, we only have English together!” he pouted.

“Sorry mate, I’m only taking classes related to business besides English,” he replied ghastly, trying to cheer up Niall a bit with a smile. But Niall still continued to frown as he placed himself in the desk near Liam.

“Quiet down everyone!” the sharp voice traversed through the room. Students all shot up, stern and painted in fear. In just one second, everything went silent as the hunched old woman with rippling veins that swam along her skin walked into the dusty classroom. The curly brown tipped hair was strong in the horror side, possibly hiding the many emotions she has captured from her students over the years.

 It was Mrs. Carter, the most infamous English teacher of our school. Her brutal teachings and verbal abuse have sent some students back crying because of how fierce she was. If anyone were to speak out and fight back against her, you wouldn’t be able to enter this school the next day without a part of you missing.

 It didn’t faze Liam at all however, he liked teachers who were stern and strict. It was easier for him to learn in a quiet atmosphere where he was at peace. It’s not like he hated people or anything, he just prefers quiet time compared to most other high schoolers. Though he’s not sure how he is friends with Niall because he is the farthest away from quiet.

“Good morning, class..” her sharp edged voice cut through the silence. If the class’s thoughts could speak out right now, you would probably hear loud shrieks and grunts. “I’m sure most of you know already who I am, but if you don’t my name is Mrs. Carter. Welcome to Senior English, your first class of your final year in high school. So in one way, congratulations on making it this far,” she raspy finished. The way she smacked her K’s and her tone drew the attention of the class as everyone started to lighten down.

“Before I begin to talk, I would like to introduce a new student who will be transferring with us. He comes all the way from Bradford, England and I hope we can welcome him with open arms,” when the new student walked slowly into the room.

Liam was quickly at a loss of words when he gazed upon him. His dark skin that complimented his chestnut brown eyes stood out while his black lush hair was quaffed upward. His school uniform fitted him just right all around his body, every feature capturing very well. He couldn’t lie, this boy was absolutely beautiful. He looked like he walked straight out of a fashion magazine and into the classroom. Every feature about him made Liam awe. It was physically impossible to look this beautiful. This was a dream, right?

 Liam’s eyes quickly shot back to Mrs. Carter, afraid of making eye contact awkwardly.

“My name is Zayn Malik. Uh.. it’s nice to meet you all,” his tone of voice was low pitch but had a certain harmony to it. Liam felt like he could fall into a trance listening to it. Niall nudged him lightly in the shoulder to snap him out of his senses.

Liam knew he was gay. He’s known it ever since middle school when he felt a crush on Harry Styles (luckily, he moved and won’t be returning). Niall found out too in the worst way possible, by facebook. Liam hits himself in the back of his mind from how annoying that must have been to Niall and himself. But it’s how the two got close. Niall could sympathize for Liam, he wanted to make sure Liam was okay no matter what and promised to help him out along the way. Without Niall, Liam would not be where he is today.

“Well Zayn, our seating chart isn’t finalized. So why don’t you sit in the front row today?” Mrs. Carter flipped her gaze to an empty desk in the front, far from Liam. He watched as Zayn placed himself, trying to brush off the 50 pairs of eyes watching him (even his). Niall leaned in, observing him also.

“I have to admit, he’s pretty good looking. He’s your type, right?” Niall whispered to Liam’s ear drum before he grew a sense of shock and pulled back. Niall smirked, knowing he had guessed right when reading all of Liam’s flustered emotions. But he couldn’t help himself, Zayn was just too damn good looking. The raven style personality with the slender physique, everything about Mr. Malik was a turn on for Zayn. But who was he kidding? His only great friend is Niall and even he has problems socializing with him. It would be a dream for Zayn to even talk to Liam, let alone fall in love with him. He sighed, all of his motivation escaping into the clustered classroom like a dying breath that moved uncontrollably. Mrs. Carter went back to the board and introduced the whole curriculum.

As a senior, everyone was supposed to be challenged and placed in harder conditions to not get lazy for college. Niall was the music for the day to Liam as he grunted and booed under his breath the more the syllabus packed onto the classroom. He just stared down, skimming the endless text of expectations, homework, assignments and exams galore. His eyes would drift to the sight of the raven boy every now and then, making sure it was reality. Soon after, the bell had finally rattled everyone’s minds awake with the obnoxious ringing. The class migrated out quickly in about two seconds, only leaving Niall, Liam and Mrs. Carter behind.

“Since your Business class is close to mine, I can walk you there!” Niall cheered happily. They walked together while Liam sipped his thoughts away on the cup of coffee. But that didn’t last for long as Niall bumped into him a bit to get his attention.

“Were you even listening?!” he exclaimed, acting like he was hurt.

“Sorry Niall, I’m in that “zone” as you call it…”

“Is it because of Zayn and how good he looks?” he said out loud. Liam almost cupped his hands over Niall’s mouth but realized it was too late. Nobody seemed to have heard as they moved on.

“Good god Niall, what if someone heard that?!” Liam scolded a bit and Niall backed away, apologizing. “We’re lucky high school is just a bunch of twats and losers mixed in one group,”

“Don’t forget the elitist jocks who think they run everything!” Niall added on, showing off his bright smile. Liam laughed and said goodbye to his friend. They gave a quick embrace as Niall ruffled his hair when he walked away. Liam stood back and entered into his 2nd period classroom.

***

Liam had on average, quick and dull classes. He was driving home in his Toyota Camry, blasting to Justin Timberlake trying to drown out the feelings from today. Upon arriving home, he was met with his mother, Karen, who was frantically cleaning the house.

“Afternoon, Mum…” Liam was casting suspicion under what she was doing. She smiled back and waved him out, indicating she was busy. “If you need me, I’ll be in my room doing homework!” he yelled. She gave no response as he trotted into his room. The empty, barren room of a few posters with his favorite musicians and his bed. This was the room he had gotten used to his whole life. Maybe it would be a lot more colorful if Liam actually took time to decorate it. A knock on his door surprised him when his mum had appeared.

“Sorry Liam! I was cleaning the house real quick. How was school?” she gave me a hug and pulled back, actually peeking curiosity at what my day consisted of.

“It was nothing much. Just another boring first day and soon, college starts…” Liam trailed onto his own mind and Karen smiled, walking back to the door.

“Dinner will be ready in a couple hours. Take some time to relax and don’t overdo yourself! I’m sure senior year will be fun, Liam Payne. You just have to see the positives…” as she closed the door and went back downstairs. He sighed and collided against the bed, letting all signs of weakness show into his own room.

It was something about Zayn that caught Liam’s attention. He never felt that way before towards anyone. And he found him… attractive. That wasn’t like Liam, to fall for someone so easily. The last person he dated was Danielle Prazer, and that was freshman year. He recollected all of the thoughts of how awkward their date was and when Liam wanted to just go home. He was relieved when they broke up, they had dated for two months and he only did it to maintain his reputation.

He skimmed through his phone and scrolled through all the contacts. Of course, the most messaged would be Niall Horan. He scrolled through all the familiar names he collected over the years and puckered himself into a state of mellow feelings and lay there, observing the ceiling. All of the patterns he noticed and watched, each depicting its own story. Liam reached his arm slowly, pretending he could take a piece off and discover what was behind the wall. But it was reality, he was never going to just accomplish his sense of power by laying on a bed all day. He got up slowly and scavenged through his bag to take homework out. Being a 4.0 student had its advantages, especially with homework. In just about an hour, Liam was able to complete it while laying back. As he got up, he heard a thump from downstairs call to his ears.

“Liam! Dinner is ready!”

“Coming, Mum!”.

Liam had other things to worry about. He needed to get through school and do some things on his bucket list if possible. Niall convinced him on that idea, and he never would let go of it. But of course, there is always time for some romantic feelings.

If Zayn Malik isn’t leaving, his feelings aren’t either.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 has arrived~ Enjoy!
> 
> OP Chapter 8 to be out tomorrow or Monday.

Over the course of the next few weeks, time just ticked on. He would sit in the back of the classroom with Niall and observe the boy from a distance. His eyes that glistened the personality into him and belittled the clever Liam he thought he was had caused him to be in a trance of relaxation and excitement. He had no idea why the raven boy was so mysterious to him or how he took fascination. But none of it mattered, as he knew things like this would never last. He erupted the thoughts out of his mind and analyzed the classroom around him to get his mind off lost thoughts.

As usual, everyone was asleep. Mrs. Carter had been instructing the class about writing and syntax, but nobody bothered to pay attention. It was like everybody was distracted into something more important and used fabrication on their face to excuse any suspicion. As Liam continued to observe the situation, Niall whispered to him from the side, trying to be careful about it. “Did you catch the last slides notes?” Niall tried to whisper in a lower tone, but that was asking a lot from him. He quickly shuffled towards the blonde boy and tried to whisper back as well.

“Syntax is the writers sentence structure, how did you miss that?”

“I’m not exactly as interested in English as you think, you know…”

“Did you miss anything el-“ as Liam was cut off by a loud and rough groan from the front of the room. The two boys looked up and saw Mrs. Carter, staring them down with eyes that matched the wits of Satan.

“Can I help you two?” her stern voice sent chills down Liam’s spine as he moved to an upright position. All eyes of the class were on him, he hated every bit of it.

“It’s alright, ma’am. I was just getting some help from Liam,” Niall replied back.

“Were you not paying attention at all?”

"Well, I was trying. Sometimes a voice can put a guy to sleep you know,”. Snickers from all around the class as Liam’s innocent face was falling apart with Niall’s tactics. He shot a glare right at Niall but he just smiled it away.

“I’m sure you two think you’re really funny, don’t you..?” the pitch in her voice was low, deadly low. Everyone stopped their laughter and focused right on Liam and Niall. Liam even saw Zayn’s eyes stare at the two as well, giving him even more of an uncomfortable feeling.

“No, ma’am.. it’s not like that. Niall was just kidding and we’re really sorry for disrupting your class,” he tried to save themselves, but her look was still the sign of all hope being lost. She squabbled to her desk and wrote out a long slip, placing both on their desks. Liam felt his stomach flip around and collapse as he read Garbage Duty after school. This was the first time he had gotten in trouble and Liam wanted to wake up so badly, thinking it was a dream.

“I.. I can’t believe you made me fucking get in trouble, you twat!” he mumbled under his breath to Niall. The blonde joker laughed under his breath and observed the rooms tension ease as they all went back to focus on the lecture Mrs. Carter was giving. Her look throughout the rest of the day never changed.

“This’ll be fun year,” Niall shined his smile in confidence to Liam as he sat back in his seat, giving the occasional “Why do I associate with you” stare to Niall every couple minutes.

***

“Why, Niall? Why?” he harshly muttered under his breath. The two trouble makers, well a trembling and a bored troublemaker, stood at the door to the Janitor’s Closet. They were to do campus cleanup and make sure all of the campus was spotless of garbage. If any of it was left behind, Mrs. Carter would assign something even worse. It was so bad, Liam could not dare think of it, and chose to question it with fear in his mind. Niall thrust open the door and grabbed the needed materials: A trash back and some rubber gloves. He wrinkled his nose before closing the door as the stench from years of never cleaning the room attacked their noses.

 “Bloody hell, that smells awful! They couldn’t have cleaned this room while they were at it?” the blonde scowled.

“Just leave it Niall. Let’s hurry and get this done with, I want to go home…” Liam sighed while closing the door. And then as they turned to the door, a familiar voice called out to the boys.

“Wait! Could you guys open the door again for me?” as Liam turned back, he was met with Zayn right there. The raven boy panted, trying to catch his breath as he stood in front of Liam and Niall. He flashed a smile, trying his best to look professional.

“Did Mrs. Carter bust you too?” Niall was shocked when Zayn laughed and stood back a bit.

“I just like to help out. I did it at my old school, it’s a way to pass the time and gain volunteer houses,” Liam was inching on every word he said. Niall handed Zayn a pair of gloves and a garbage bag. “Well then, let’s just head out there!” as the three boys walked outside into the cool, crisp air. The breeze caught the best of the three boys as they shriveled inside their coats. The autumn season was rolling in and it was pretty common for wind chills to blast through.

“We never really got to properly introduce ourselves! I’m Niall Horan, although I think that’s obvious” the boy smiled and shook hands with Zayn.

“And I’m Liam Payne. I wouldn’t even be here if Niall wasn’t a twat and got me in trouble,” he finished grumpily as Niall jabbed him with his elbow. Liam coughed out and crunched down into a defensive position, only to cause Zayn laugh a bit.

 “You guys are pretty funny. But shouldn’t we actually be getting to work?” he asked. The three looked around, verifying how much trash was laid around the campus. Liam and Niall grumbled to themselves and expressed their horror to cleanup with verbal expressions as Zayn just smiled and casually begun. Together, the three boys went along their merry way and cleaned up around the school.

***

“Uh, Zayn, you missed a spot” Liam glanced over towards him, noticing the escaped piece of plastic. He nudged forward and picked it up for him, dropping the piece in Zayn’s bag.

“Liam, you missed like five spots,” Zayn eyed and picked them up for him. But rather than throwing the trash into the bag, he chucks a piece into Liam’s face as he runs backwards a few feet. He scowls a bit at Zayn and then starts to laugh.

He genuinely laughs, something he hasn’t done in a long time.

“I have to ask, Zayn…” Niall questioned from the side. “Where are you from?”

 “My family came from Bradford in the UK. They decided to move away after getting new jobs and come over to Washington,”.

 “Well, that marks all of us then from Europe,” Liam concluded to the other two. “I’m from Wolverhampton and Niall is from Mullingar, Ireland. That’s got to be fate or something!” the brown haired bloke stifled about.  They eventually got back to work.

Liam’s witch shined at 3:30 when they had finally cleaned up all of the campus. Lucky for him, there was no homework tonight so he was free to mess around. He enjoyed the time hanging out with Niall and Zayn as well, especially Zayn.

“Well, we finally finished everything. Should we head back to the supply closet?” Zayn questioned to the others as they collected back together in front of the entrance. The sun was peeking through the clouds, emitting blasts of light that danced with the winds.

 “I can take your supplies over, I have to stay an extra hour anyway…” Niall grumbled, flapping off his gloves and taking everyone’s supplies.

“What did you do now…?” Liam questioned when Niall

 flashed a grin. “Niall, how often do you even get in trouble?”.

            “At least once a week. I just so happened to play a prank on Mrs. Baldwin which she wasn’t too happy about. Her reaction was a smash, though!” he laughed and Zayn chuckled with him. Niall finally waved goodbye to the two as he went inside. It was just Liam and Zayn now, in front of the schoolyard.

            “Where did you park, Zayn?” he questioned to break the miniature silence. The vain boy eyed off into the distance.

            “I don’t drive, actually,”

            “Oh. So you’re just waiting for your parents?”

            “Yeah. My mom should be here in an hour or so…”

            An hour? That’s one hell of a long time. Liam gave off a big surprised face and plumped his hands into his curvy pockets, pulling out his car keys.

            “I can give you a ride home, if you want,” he told Zayn. The lighting on Zayn’s face grew bigger and brighter when he smiled, his brown eyes reflecting into Liam’s pupils. The swirls of texture in his face absorbed Liam into a pattern of lust and affection.

“Sure. I was gonna run errands anyway. So let’s head out!” and the two walked together, side by side throughout the cold September afternoon.

***

The two spent the rest of the afternoon cruising around town and enjoying themselves. Both were hungry, so they stopped by a McDonalds and devoured to their heart’s content. Zayn and Liam bonded, getting to know each other bit by bit.

 “If you draw a lot, why not join our schools art club?” Liam discussed with Zayn, finally driving him home after a few hours of being in the city. The two got to know each other, both liking the same types of music and even the same classes. Both liked English, which came as no surprise to Liam. Zayn’s looks gave a sensation to Liam that screamed of his English sided interest.

“I don’t really want to put my artwork out, if you know what I mean.. yeah?” he winked a bit and Liam just smiled. Eventually, he pulled up to Zayn’s suburban house in the middle of a compacted neighborhood. It was a gray withered house that stood at the end, sheltered by trees and flowers. The house was beautiful, like it had walked out of a painting.

“Thank you for taking me out and home, it was lots of fun bro!”. Zayn’s face lit up. He quickly pulled out his phone and swiped through his password. “Do you mind if I add you to my contacts?”.

Liam just flashed a cheeky smile and flipped out his phone as well. Together, the boys added each other into their contact list. Liam named him “Zayn Malik”, it was special seeing that name inside his phone. He felt like a relationship was finally forming.

“I’ll see you at school tomorrow, yeah?”

 “Where else would I be?” Liam laughed. He bided farewell and drove out of the neighborhood, with many cars and thoughts passing by him.

By the time he got home, his mother was preparing dinner. Liam sat with her and couldn’t contain his excitement. All he was doing was smiling like a child during Christmas.

“Did you have a fun day at school, Liam?” she asked, bringing him to his senses.

“Yeah, I’m just starting to like my classes a lot more than I thought I would,” he lied to her. He hated all of his classes, every single one was killing him. Well, except English.

“That’s good to hear! Just remember to stay on top of studies and do well on your exams, alright?” she voiced concern as she walked by, letting her fingers comfort Liam’s shoulders. He got up and washed the dishes at a speedily rate. As soon as possible, Liam ran upstairs and closed the door, leaning back a bit.

 Senior year might not be that bad.

            


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayy Chapter 3. Next Chapter is one of my favorites~

“All I’m saying is Lucie is not a virgin, it’s fucking obvious mate,” Niall scoffed between the boys at McDonalds. They sat on the high stool, the three boys laughing together like a repetitive record. The outside leaves blew along, creating a crimson illusion to the world extended around. Liam sipped on his drink, shrugging his shoulders in disbelief.

“No mate, she’s clean. She leads fundraisers and is a part of the church here. How can she not be a virgin?” the ashen boy mumbled to his crew. Zayn chuckled to himself, observing the two.

“I know my sources. She’s pretty rowdy at parties, ya know”

“There are lots of blonde girls around here, it could be anyone your friends partied with, you know,”

“Zayn mate, what do you think?” Liam and Niall directed their attention towards Zayn quickly. He shrugged a small amount and pressed his attention to the boys.

“Well, church girls are always liars. So I’m gonna go with Niall, yeah?” he spoke. Niall raised his arms in victory and Liam sulked a bit towards the sketchiest.

“Z! You were supposed to be on my side!” he pouted in a jokingly matter while the raven boy lightly pushed Liam and both were laughing.

 Niall and Liam had gotten to know Zayn very well, to the point where they all hang out together in groups after school and during the weekends. And by the time October was wrapping up, Liam felt like he was developing a relationship with Zayn that sparked the deepest chills inside him. Every time the brown eyed wonder would gaze into his eyes, he just smiled and felt relief flush over him.

“Sorry Leeyum! Even I can understand these things.” Zayn reassured Liam with a squeeze to his thighs as the two smiled. Niall only groaned and strut back into his chair.

“But who fucking cares about church girls? I got bigger problems, mate”.

“Did you get another detention?” Zayn questioned, not looking up from his English homework he was working on.

“What else? Ms. King decided that me being a couple seconds late equals automatic detention. Now I have to stay after school tomorrow, the day the match is on!” he takes a couple bites out of his burger and almost chokes, trying to scruff a piece of his Quarter Pounder down.

“You should just agree to what a teacher says, you know. It would make it easier in your life,” Liam kindly adds.

“Nice joke, Payne” he rolls his eyes and Liam just shrugs it off. Zayn tugs at Liam’s sleeve, breaking his attention away.

“Sorry guys, but I have to go. I have an art project due tomorrow I need to finish,” he got up before the other boys and collected his things. “I should probably go too, I have to finish my homework” Niall added on.

“See you guys tomorrow,” he waved as they all went their own paths. And luckily for Liam, McDonalds was close to his house (just about a mile in jogging distance, which he traveled on). So he trekked along the side of the road, and just casually went at his own pace.

And he didn't mind running. It was a way he could blow off steam, or just simply experience nature, if any even exists in Seattle. His feet tapped against the ground, creating a rhythm as he ran. The more he stepped, the more he felt able to run faster. And maybe if he ran fast enough, he could spread his invisible wings and fly.

He could fly to a place nobody has been to. A floating island that no one knows of. A place where Liam could climb to and reach, even in the worst of situations. Liam had always thought of an island in the sky as a kid. In fact, it was his dream. To be able to reach that one place in the sky. He couldn’t help but smile while he ran, his childhood of wanting to reach that island was coming back to him all at once. And it put a tug at his lips, because he never really could reach that island in the sky. He could never build the empire he wanted up in the clouds, away from all of reality.

 Liam didn't realize how close he was to home when he almost tripped on a curve approaching his house. His mind was somewhere else as he ran the 2nd part of the journey quickly. He stopped short and then realized how out of breath he was from the mile run. Liam trekked up the front porch and used his key to open the door, tugging on the knob and going inside. He smiled and stared at a single cloud, alone in the vast blue sky.

Perhaps his dream isn't dead yet.

***

The English classroom was more quiet than usual. In fact, too quiet. Liam and Niall scanned the room and noticed even the loudest of people were silent. Confusion was the first thing to enter Liam’s mind as he sat down in the back. He eyed the room quickly and noted nothing was wrong. Well, one thing was wrong, but Zayn was always the last one to arrive.

“Did someone die?” Niall asked abruptly, causing people to twist towards the two.

“Didn't you hear? Mrs. Carter assigned a huge test that nobody remembered until now…” Louis, the plain brown haired boy in the front said. Liam sank into his seat when the words shot right into his ear drums. He frantically pulled out books and looked over what he was suppose to know in the past two months. Niall just sighed, with a ‘whatever’ shrug and relaxed in his seat, ignoring the pressure.

Zayn had finally entered as the bell rang and noticed Liam, working frantically and scribbling furiously at any notes. And then there was Niall, just being Niall, who had the relaxing sensation and was looking outside at the morning sun. He went behind Liam, but the boy didn’t notice when he kept looking into his papers. Zayn lightly wrapped Liam from behind into an embrace and lay his head on his shoulder.

“You'll do fine. I bet you will get an A and get praised like the last 10 times” his voice was soothing and calm to Liam’s ear. It put him at ease, and gave him down time to just let the stress go. But the boy stayed by his head and cooed lightly into his ear. Liam was relaxed and at peace. Zayn moved away a bit, and Liam wouldn't lie when he wanted him to stay there forever. But Mrs. Carter came in as Zayn returned to his desk.

“I hope most of you prepared for the test,” as she said most there was a short silence when Niall scoffed in the back, knowing that was dedicated to him mainly. She handed the tests back and Liam’s pressure was hitting him hard. However, he glanced to Zayn who gave him a thumbs up.

That made him happy.

So with some pace and a few grunts and moans later, the test went by. Liam knew most of the content and felt good. But mainly he was confident because Zayn had helped him relax and get into his test zone. Taking a test with stress on your mind is never a good way to do it. And he knew this, because for years this is how he has been in school. He’s always focused onto his academics and never focused on other people. It’s a goddamn mystery how Niall stuck with him, but he’s glad in the end that Niall stayed by his side.

He recollects the memory of him sobbing one day in his brand new school. Nobody liked him, he was a disaster. His family was always yelling at him and nobody seemed to care. All Liam could do was cry, which made him feel more pathetic. But nothing mattered to him, and he just stared at the sky one day. “Why do I even continue to live?” he asked to himself, sobbing.

“Because there’s a plan for everyone, you know,” he heard someone with a thick Irish accent speak. And when Liam turned, he was greeted with a boy of his age with shaggy blond hair parted in different ways. Liam just stared at him in confusion as to why he was even there. He was even more confused when the boy sat by his side and looked up at the skies with him.

“I mean, you live your own life and I live mine. But it’s amazing how our lives can get so intertwined with others that each person matters to someone else. So even if someone feels worthless, they can remember that they are important in someone’s life, and that’s all that matters” he flashed a pearly white grin and held out his hand. “The name is Niall, Niall Horan,” he spoke again.

“L-Liam… Liam Payne. I’m new to this school, so… I don’t really know anyone” Liam sheepishly admitted before the blonde shook his head. “Well, you know me now, don't you?”

Recollecting that thought just made Liam somewhat happier throughout the day. Even after school ended, he was still holding onto that memory of Niall. And sure he’s an asshole to everyone (except him and Zayn of course), but deep down Niall has been there for him all the time. And there is nobody else more true and real to him than Niall Horan.

“So I was wondering if you guys wanted to spend the night this weekend,” Niall nonchalantly suggested outside the school grounds. Liam was free the weekend, he didn't have to volunteer or do anything really so he was up for it.

“Yeah, that sounds good” he spoke. Zayn nodded in agreement, but Niall quickly cursed under his breath.

“Bloody hell, I forgot I have relatives this weekend…. Fucking hell, it’s my mum’s parents too” he spoke and shrugged. But Zayn was still interested, “Liam, do you still want to have a sleepover or something?” he asked.

Liam thought it was cute when he said sleepover for some reason. But he pushed that thought aside and nodded happily. “Sure, we can do it at my house this Friday night!” he happily suggested and Zayn agreed. The three boys parted their ways and all went home, leaving Liam with thoughts of Zayn running through his head.

He was coming over to spend the night. Sure, the three have hung out at his house. But it’s never been just Zayn and Liam alone. A few times he gave Zayn a ride, but music drowned out the awkward silences and left the boys with typical conversations. Spending the night, would be a whole different story to Liam’s eyes.

As he entered his house, the familiar smell of chicken pot pie was creeping throughout, putting Liam’s heart into a full hunger mood. And he quickly spotted his mother, busy in the kitchen as if it was her own office. He sat down in the table / bar area as his mother gave him a reassuring smile. “So, what’s up? You only sit there if you have a question…” she analyzed him clearly.

“Uh, is it okay if Zayn spends the night on Friday? You can say no if you want to…” he shyly asked but his mom didn’t really notice and grinned. “Of course! He can be another taste tester of some new recipes I’m trying! Oh, is Niall coming too?”.

“He has family to deal with, so it’ll just be us,”.

“Well that’s fine. Zayn seems like a good boy to me, just remember to avoid any parties or drugs of course,” she repeated the usual to him. He nodded and then traversed upstairs, ignoring the smell of chicken pot pie when entering into his own room. He checked his phone and was met with the usual: Updates from Niall about how much he hates homework and Zayn telling a corny but cute joke.

“Friday Night is going to be fun, I hope,” Liam talked to himself before he began his homework.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 is here! Some fluff too.

Him feeling nervous would be an understatement, and Liam has felt many shades of nervous inflictions in his life, without a doubt. So he stood in his room observing what he was wearing in the mirror.

It was a simple grey sweater with two black stripes that hugged across. Followed with some dark azure jeans he got from Forever 21, it was a simple but comfortable outfit that he liked to wear. But he wasn’t going on a date, so why did he care? Liam pinched himself to bring him back to reality, focusing on his own image again. He knew he would have a good time with Zayn, but it never helped his nerving thoughts were pounding away.

The doorbell snapped him back to reality as he quickly ran downstairs, ignoring the fact he almost tripped. And when he got to the door, he was met with a woman who looked very similar to Zayn’s appearance. She was clinging onto two smaller girls, scared and huddled behind their mother’s legs. Zayn was right next to her, wearing a blue varsity jacket that looked damn well on him with black pants and a leather belt hugging his waist. He smiled at Zayn and his mother reached out her hand, which Liam shook out of instinct.

“I’m Liam, it’s nice to meet you!” he spoke and smiled slyly. The woman laughed and shook his hands firmly as well. “Zayn’s told me a lot about you! It’s nice to finally meet the boy he mentioned so much,” which caused Zayn to blush a bit and Liam to laugh. He thought it was funny and somewhat cute that the boy would talk about him to his parents.

“I trust you two will be fine, so just have a safe night. And thank you for watching over him Liam!” she waved goodbye and walked back with her two girls still clinging to her legs as she drove off to the end of the road. When Liam finally shut the door, he met himself to a Zayn in awe, admiring his surroundings.

“You never told me you were rich Leeyum!” he dragged out the E’s when saying that and Liam just felt awkward and blushed somewhat.

“I’m not rich, Z. But thank you,” he smiled and Zayn looked at him in shock.

“Are you kidding? My house is super small compared to this,”.

The boys settled down in Liam’s room after some touring of the house. Zayn was still fascinated by all of his surroundings, he must have lived in a lot smaller of a house than Liam thought. The brown haired boy sighed and threw himself back in his chair, looking outside with the sun closing in.

“So, what would you like to do?” Liam questioned, directly making eye contact with Zayn in front of him. The room was silent and the winds bashed against the glass from outside, causing an immense stir of leaves to blow by in the autumn winds. Zayn shrugged and fell back into Liam’s bed just admiring his many posters on the walls.

“Well, we could go see a movie. Didn’t The Fault in Our Stars come out? I liked the book,” he smiled shyly and Liam nodded in agreement. “Although, that’s a little too date like, isn’t it?”.

"Not really, I’d be happy to see The Fault in Our Stars with you Zayn!”.

 “Well then, what are we waiting for?!” he got up in excitement, pacing towards Liam and grabbing his hand guiding him down the stairs to his keys. The two boys just happily moved along to his car and hopped in, driving away as quick as possible.

They were at home, simply discussing things such as school or other people they knew. And every time Zayn laughed, Liam felt a part of him glow while he gripped the wheel and steered, the only music to his hears was the boy to his right.

            “So Liam, what was your life like in Wolverhampton?” he looked at Liam in curiosity like a small boy would to candy, observing his reactions. Liam was into trance of thought for a bit before composing a somewhat answer.

“I loved it personally, yeah? Things were good and my family got along. I had some bully issues here and there… but in the end it wasn’t too bad. I was more sad when I found out I had to come over here,” he spoke firmly. Zayn sighed, nodding amongst the side.

“Yeah, Bradford was like that too. Sometimes I kind of want to just.. run back, you know? My dad and cousins are all over there but my mom and my sisters came over here so I could get a better education. It’s okay, I suppose. I miss my mates” he huffed to the side and Liam just couldn’t help but laugh at his childish side.

“Then we’re not exactly all that different, are we?” he smiled.

“I guess not, Leeyum” Zayn smirked, agreeing with harmony.

 

They finally arrived at the theater and were surrounded by heaps of middle school girls, all wearing “Okay” shirts and bringing tissues. Liam, never even hearing about this book was shocked at the crowd and Zayn only laughed about it, explaining to him what the book was about.

“So it’s just like, another teenage romance book that became popular?” the ashen boy was confused when they sat down in the theatre with their popcorn and soda.

"It’s written by John Green, Liam! He’s one of my favorite youtubers and the book is really good. Trust me, you’ll love the movie and then you will have to read the book.” Zayn munched on popcorn from Liam’s hands, causing the boy to whine as Zayn only laughed.

“I swear if this movie makes you cry I’m going to throw popcorn everywhere and throw the soda at the screen” Liam pouted and grumbled to himself while Zayn just laughed and patted Liam’s head lightly.

“Don’t worry, I don’t cry easily,” he promised.

Throughout the movie, there were scenes that caused everyone heartbreak. Augustus’s moment on the bench with Hazel had caused the whole theatre to be in tears and Liam had kept looking over at Zayn who was perfectly normal. Not one scene had made him sad at all as Liam continued to watch.

But the movie slowly got to him. More and more he would feel his heart tighten as Hazel and Augustus grew onto each other. And at the end, Liam slowly felt a small tear trickle down his sides of his face. He felt so weak, he thought he had gotten done crying. And he was sure Zayn would laugh at him if he saw him like this, and would tell everybody at school. He was about to move for a bit when a hand had moved gently across his back and pulled him in.

Zayn was holding Liam close to him, each other feeling their breath huffing among the theatre when Zayn lightly whispered in his ear: “It’s sad, isn’t it?”.

“I-I guess so…” Liam tried to speak clearly but his tears were choking him up. Zayn hushed him lightly and held him there for the rest of the movie. There were some stares the boys could feel. A girl even mumbled under her breath of how “cute” the boys were. But they stayed like this until the end, even after Liam had cheered up. Because both of them just didn’t want to separate in the end.

After the movie had ended, Liam and Zayn still had energy left in them. They hit up a local arcade nearby and played all the games they could in the next two hours. And Liam didn’t have to worry about a curfew, knowing his mom would be out of town for the weekend. So he could enjoy all of this night.

“You suck at DDR, Z” Liam spoke moving along to the beat while Zayn had problems aligning everything and would miss his steps a few seconds after the arrows.

“Shut up, I can do it. I know I can!”

 “Well you surely are fooling me right now,” Liam rolled his eyes while finishing the song. His rank, an A while Zayn ranked a D. The boy moped and hopped off the panel while Liam was cheering for himself and very proud of the fact he was good at something like that, causing him to just be more happy.

“Since when were you a DDR expert?” he questioned Liam as the two walked back to his car after the fun night out.

“I played DDR all the time with Niall last year. And trust me, looks can be deceiving. Even though that boy eats a lot, he is a lot better than I am at the game” Liam recalled, after being humiliated 50+ times by Niall when he would clear modes on expert and audiences would gather around him and cheer.

“He’s that much of a superstar? Well you should call me down when he is going to beat you again!” he laughed as Liam felt a thirst to practice now, to make sure Niall will finally knows what lost feels like.

And maybe to show off to Zayn a bit.

            The two were going home after a drive when Zayn looked outside and noticed all the stars that were like a bright road painted on the sky. He was in awe and breathed in the sight around him. “The stars… they’re so pretty tonight”. Liam gasped under his breath as he remembered the spot in his head when he casually directed himself to Zayn.

“Would you like to go see the stars, then?” he asked. And Zayn looked at the clock, and then at his phone before nodding. Liam grinned widely, turning onto a rough road. “Hold on tight, this is gonna be rough”.

Rough was an understatement. Zayn had to grip onto the seat for dear life as Liam drove onto the road. He almost ruined his quiff 40 or so times before finally, the car came to a stop. Both the boys got out with little stable legs and sat themselves on the roof and gazed upwards in amazement.

The stars were so clear, you could count all of them and trace lines. Each one was like a tiny speck of dust that blew across the sky. The boys were laying together in peace, admiring all of the sky. And nothing could really describe the feelings they got looking at the galaxies far away. All of the stars were beautiful to their eyes and desired to be reached and pulled.

The two were silent for the longest time, feeling comfortable in their presence. Liam was glad he let Zayn spend the night, because this was one of the best nights he has had in a long time. And he had so much to tell Niall about this, all of his feelings for Zayn. Of course, it would be like a nonstop train of words he would use to describe Zayn, the sky and the movie.

 Liam held out his hand, trying to pull one to himself but just laughed slowly. “I guess I can’t reach, can I?” he spoke.

“No, you have to reach farther, like this!” and Zayn extended even further, his sleeves falling down. But he couldn’t reach it either, and Liam laughed for a second. However, he then noticed from the stars and his car’s lights what was on Zayn’s arms.

Scars that extended across from left to right, and many of them at that.

He quickly pulled his sleeve down in a hurry and scanned Liam, as if something were different.  At a snail’s pace, he got up from the roof of the car and shivered a little from the cold autumn winds that crept by. Zayn rubbed his eyes in exhaustion and glanced at his phone. “It’s already midnight, Leeyum. I’m tired!” he whined. And both returned to his car and drove on the road.

Liam was worried, though. He thought Zayn was a happy person, so why would he have all those scars on his arms? He doubted his family was behind it, so that could only lead to one possible conclusion.

Zayn was conflicting self harm.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyyy chapter 5 is heere

His thoughts were bouncing left and right and caught in a daze. After Zayn went home, he couldn’t help but worry for him almost every minute. Why would he cut? Zayn was beautiful, friendly and he had a nice family from when he met them. But still, those were scars from a razor blade.

He hasn’t told anyone about that, not even Niall or his mom. Liam was too afraid that Zayn would be worried and perhaps even go farther than cutting. The thought of Zayn doing any more damage made Liam cringe to himself during lunch, shivers would rapidly vibrate all along his spine and his heart would sink into depths just imaging if Zayn were to harm himself again. But in thought, he heard the sound of a familiar voice call to him, pulling him from his trance.

“Liam! Oi, mate! You’re falling asleep on me or what?” Niall was leaning into him and poking interest at the boy’s thoughts. Liam only laughed and rubbed the back of his head a bit.

“Sorry mate, I’m a little tired from the weekend and classes, you know?” he smiled. Niall laughed and agreed while Zayn was by his side, chuckling from Liam’s words.

“You played too much DDR and probably killed your legs, yeah?” he smirked slyly while Liam just brushed it off and smiled.

“You played DDR without me?! God damn it! I was stuck at a fucking family gathering with people I haven’t heard of while you two go out and play DDR!” Niall pouted as Zayn rubbed his hair from across the table, cheering him up a bit. “My dad’s a cock block for fun,”.

“Maybe we can do something after school then? We could go to the arcade and make up for your loss time. I don’t have any big homework assignments to deal with,” Zayn spoke nonchalantly as Niall brightened up and his face glowed in excitement. He nodded, “Sounds like a smashing time! Let’s all meet by my truck after school!”.

But Liam thought to himself and analyzed Zayn. Ever since he met Zayn, he’s had some sort of attachment to the boy and couldn’t let go of it. He kept thinking about him day and night and how special he was to him. And they hadn’t even known each other for 2 ½ months, but it was like a lifetime. His mind drew him back and he was confused.

He shouldn’t like Zayn.

School is more important.

It’s high school, it wouldn’t last.

He can’t deal with those cuts.

“Leeyum, are you there?” he felt a nudge in his forehead from Zayn when he realized he was in deep thought again. Niall and Zayn were both staring at him as he shook his head, excusing his actions.

“Sorry guys, I can’t make it after school. So how about you guys go do it? I have some studying to catch up on…” he absent-mindedly replied and went back to being silent. Niall and Zayn talked for the rest of the lunch period as the three split off. He trekked through the Monday like it was nothing, just lost in thought about himself. Liam felt bad honestly, he blew off the two and stayed quiet the whole day.

After arriving home from school, he ignored any text or pictures he got from Niall and Zayn (who were both typing incomprehensible messages after two hours of DDR and Zayn complaining about how good he was) to focus on all of his college work, because that’s what Liam should have been doing in the first place. He should always focus on his academics first, he needs to get through senior year and go to college. Loving Zayn isn’t what he needs at all.

“Loving?” Liam spoke to himself with a quiet tone. No, love couldn’t be right. He had a simple high school crush on Zayn that would blow over give or take, a couple months. It was normal for him to want to be by Zayn’s side and sleep next to him and care for him, holding him all the time and every day of his life. It wasn’t normal, to fall in love with someone you’ve only known for 2 months.

This is exactly why it should have stayed as “that boy from English class”.

Liam threw his pencil against the wall, aware of the tears that formed at his eyes. “God fucking damn, not again…” he wiped them away vigorously, hating when he cried. Crying was weak, it showed how unprepared you were for reality. His parents and siblings had taught him that over the years, trying to improve him from the boy who got bullied almost every day. If he had not conversed with Zayn this often, he would have been in a better state. He could be ahead in life and have his college papers ready to go, not having to worry about a certain raven boy who stole his heart away.

He needed to get away. He needed space from everyone. And the only way to do that was to step away from any sort of contact he had with Zayn. He knew something like this would stab at him because he let himself get emotionally attached to Zayn, but the only way for him to move on and do well in life is to ignore any sign of affection.

So he focused on homework that night, the 2nd term had started for his classes and he managed to pass all of his midterms through last week, but he stayed cautious. The next day in school, Zayn had texted him about plans but he ignored any sign of contact. Even Niall too, because he mainly hung out with Zayn and he had to avoid as much distraction as possible. When Zayn asked him during class why he never responded to his texts, Liam eyed the room quickly to avoid suspicion.

“My phone got taken away,” he lied. Zayn huffed under his breath as he had no idea whether or not Zayn thought he was lying.

“Ok. Do you want to hang out for lunch?”.

“Sorry, I have to study for some tests next period. Maybe next time?” Liam proposed. Zayn simply nodded and waved goodbye as the two boys parted. Liam had to drag himself up to the library, resisting any urge to jump by Zayn’s side and hang out with him for the day.

He kept this up for a few days, the same excuses to Zayn and ignoring him while he studied his notes. He felt better, at least he thinks so. And all he had to do is slowly let the friendship die as you get better grades and focus more towards college. Liam smirked to himself in the library, stretching in his victory and how he could finally revert back to older days with just himself and books.

But one time when he sat down and begun to analyze his books, his phone vibrated as Liam scanned his iPhone quickly.

**From: Niallerr / November 5th 11:34 AM**

_“yo zayns upset, he think u blew him off like 3 times now. is something up bro?”_

Liam just ignored it and went back to reading his notes. Well, tried to. His phone vibrated again and his eyes felt the urge to read the text.

**From: Niallerr / November 5th 11:34 AM**

_“look I know u are kinda moody but whats going on??? also stop ignoring my texts.”_

He rolled his eyes and tapped his keyboard quickly, not wanting to cast suspicion from Niall himself what he was doing.

**To: Niallerr / November 5th, 11:36 AM**

_“I didn’t blow him off! I have had things to do these past few days. I’m fine.. >:”_

Niall texted back a “whatever” and they both dropped their conversation, going back to their own things. And for the rest of the week, Liam didn’t talk to anybody. No classmates, no friends, just the teacher and himself. The week was slow and vigorous but eventually it ended, giving Liam a break from the stress he has had with friends recently. A weekend of studying will make things so much easier for himself.

“Excuse me?” a feminine voice called to him as he turned sides and looked at a small Asian girl with short hair that looked like a boy hair style. She was cute, without a doubt. “Can you help me? I’m kind of lost…”

“Sure. Where do you need to go?”

“Can you walk me to the counselors office? I’ve been here for 2 months and I still can’t find it…” the girl sighed, but then walked by Liam’s side and raised her hand. “The name is Deborah, Deborah Garrison” she proudly spoke.

“I’m Liam Payne, nice to meet you”. Deborah drew back in surprise upon hearing his words, causing Liam to feel internally confused.

“No way, you’re British?!” she spoke in excitement as Liam nodded. So quickly, and so suddenly, she was hoping on him with questions. From “What’s it like in the UK?” to “Do you think girls with American accents are sexy?”.

The two finally arrived at the counselors center and Deborah smiled widely. “Thank you so much!” she nodded and plead. Liam smiled too, and just as he was about to turn, her hands grabbed for his back and twisted him quickly. She placed a kiss on his cheek, causing Liam to blush and fall back a bit.

“W-what was that for?” he spoke a little agitated.

“If you want my lips, maybe you could take me out?” she cooed in a seducing voice that Liam almost stabbed his ears upon hearing.

“Why did you kiss me?!” he almost shouted.

“Oh calm down, it was just a kiss on the cheek. Also, you’re cute. I like to kiss the cute ones when I see them, ya know?” she was more informal and careless in her tone and stretched her arm. Liam was about to argue back when he first footsteps as he turned backwards.

Zayn’s whole figure had observed what just happened, because he was running away quickly and wasn’t stopping after Liam called to him twice. Deborah scoffed and regarded the boy running away. “What’s his deal? Is he like, a faggot or something?”

“What do you mean?” Liam was angry now upon hearing that word come from Deborah’s lips when she laughed abruptly and covered her face with her hand in shame.

“Really? He just ran away after me kissing your cheek! He needs to grow a pair…” she coldly spoke of Zayn. The more Liam hung around her, the more he was furious. He quickly pulled out his keys and left Deborah there who called his name a couple times before entering the office. Liam was on his way to his car, with so many emotions rolling around inside him.

Zayn couldn’t be gay. He probably has a girlfriend back home he never spoke of. Besides, even if he was gay, Zayn is perfect. Too perfect. He would never lower his standards to date someone like Liam. The difference between the two was way too obvious and Liam had to swallow that hard truth. But still, he felt weak.

He’s ignored Zayn the whole week, all because of a couple scars he saw on Zayn’s arms. But Liam is afraid of the consequences that will follow. What if Zayn is cutting himself because of Liam?

“Oh my god,” he spoke to himself solemnly inside his car. But before Liam could really get into much thought, another text came in on his phone. He expected it to be Zayn, a written death threat against him for acting like an arse. Instead, he was met with a surprise from Niall.

**From: Nialler / November 5 th, 2:19 PM**

“ _u have a lot to explain to me right now. ill come by ur house around 6 or so when im done with some errands, so be ready to talk you twat”_

He texted back an “ok”, and continued his drive home with more thoughts jumbling in his head now.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh hello guys I am back! I'm so sorry for the wait, but France was exhausting and I had to work for two weeks with some big shifts, I didn't have much time to write at all! Also, I was having some crush problems, so that kinda made me depressed for a bit but I'm doing better now.
> 
> Here is Chapter 6~

By the time Liam had ate dinner, finished his weekend homework and sat down, his mental self was dead and he quickly grew lax in all of his muscles. But the scene from this afternoon kept replaying in his head over and over. How Deborah leaned in to kiss him so suddenly, and how Zayn had reacted. The words she mumbled under her hideous breath and how every moment of that scene stung Liam’s heart.

And then Niall’s text, which he had completely overlooked and felt a moment of silence ooze his mind. He quickly pulled for his phone and dialed Niall’s number as he knew it by heart. The receiving end was full of gruff sounds and hurling, causing Liam to stand up a bit in worry.

“Are you okay mate?” Liam called but Niall quickly talked back to him with anger and sharpness.

“I’m fuckin’ fine, but clearly you’re not!” he hollered through the phone, causing Liam to jump back a bit from his tone. “Are you fucking dense or something?!”.

“Calm down mate! God you yell more than my mom during The Price is Right…” Liam huffed lightly and paced around inside his room.

“You’ve been spacing yourself away from us for two weeks and then Zayn tells me you have a girlfriend, what the fuck? I thought I knew you pretty well but god damn I’m always wrong,” Niall took a moment to catch his breath and then went back to angry noises that Liam couldn’t decipher at all.

“My.. girlfriend?” and Liam just started hollering in laughter, just laying on the bed around scattered papers and scholarship forms. For the first time in weeks, he was laughing normally. The thought of Deborah ever being more than a friend, let alone a girlfriend, was driving Liam to uncontrollable hollering.

“Well I fuckin’ take it she isn’t your girlfriend..” the blonde boy cooed on the other line, wakening Liam from his hysterical state. He got up slowly and wiped a small tear away from his eye.

“Am I really that straight? I didn’t know,”.

“Well, you could have fooled me if you never told me,” Liam just chuckled in a lower tone, afraid his mother would catch wind of what was going on.

“So she’s… not?” Niall questioned again.

“No mate, she kissed me first and I didn’t know how to react. I’m not a big fan of her, to be quite honest”.

Niall sighed in relief and the tension between the two had broken for a moment. "Guess I don't have to come over then," he spoke out. It’s been some time since Liam and Niall had a normal conversation, giving the two boys a breath of relaxation, as if nothing had happened.

“So, I have to ask a question then mate” Niall calmly asked after a moment of silence as Liam lay on his bed, starring at the ceiling and all of its patterns he could make out with his two eyes.  

“Shoot.”

“Do you love Zayn, by any chance?”.

The word love, was a strong one. It’s a word that you use to commit yourself to an object that you truly like. Loving the sky, loving the grass. Loving someone. And Liam, Liam was never sure of what he loved. But he kept quiet for a moment and stared into the ceiling, reflecting back on his memories of the raven boy. His smile, his laughter, his looks, his feelings Liam had just being by him. Everything about Zayn made his heart shoot through the sky.

“I think I do love him… yeah.” he spoke softly, not even realizing how quickly his voice changed, because he finally realized it. He finally realized one of the most obvious facts of his life.

Liam Payne was in love with Zayn Malik.

“Well, I guess I called it considering how you look at him like he’s the Mona Lisa or some shit,” the two laughed for a bit, making Liam rise up from his position to talk normally.

“Was it that obvious?” he questioned, and Niall only squawked in a high pitch in surprise of that question.

“I might have failed my eyesight exams and need glasses, but even I can see this as clear as water,”. And Liam thought about those words after the phone call, because it’s rare that Niall can see something even Liam can’t recognize. It’s even more rare that Liam can’t understand something that Niall can.

***

 

With time, Liam, Zayn and Niall got back together to hang out like nothing had changed. The boys laughed, hung out afterschool and even studied together (Liam begged Niall to focus on school more while Zayn just laughed and acknowledged the importance of their futures to avoid working at McDonalds) and slowly, everything was building back up. But even so, Liam knew one fact had changed. He recognized his love for Zayn and couldn’t stop thinking about him even more now. The way his lips moved were like an invitation to thrust his own onto them. The way his hair was always so perfectly upright and straight, as if a typhoon could never knock it down.

Zayn was more than perfect, he was better than reality. And Liam was loving every second he could just to be around him. The two would lean into each other and play affectionate roles, from small hugs to whispering in the ears, like they honestly were in a relationship. Niall would only laugh, but eventually eye Liam and wiggle his eyebrows to which he blushed in every case.

And November was passing on as well. The boys got through their midterms finally and continued onto the 2nd quarter. Sure there was some struggle here and there and only a few nervous breakdowns, but the boys got through together. Even Niall managed to pass his midterms, surprising Liam, Zayn and even Niall’s parents (they congratulated him with gift cards to Red Robin and gave him as much food as he could consume, Niall had never been happier).

By the time Thanksgiving break had rolled around, the three boys got together on a Friday night to relax and hang out like they planned to. After some Xbox and food, the three just sat inside a quiet, pitch black room with silence swirling in the air. Niall’s occasional snore disrupted the peace, leaving only Zayn and Liam to lay by each other’s sides. The ashen boy’s breath was hitched a little when he tried to close his eyes and go to sleep.

“You’re up, right? Liam?” Zayn called out quietly to him. This woke Liam up to full attention as he nudged himself up from the cold carpet.

“Yeah, of course I’m up… it’s hard to sleep on the arctic floor” the two laughed in hushed whispers, avoiding any loud disturbances to peck at Niall’s slumbering soul.

“Do you wanna, like, step outside or something? So we don’t wake up Niall…” Zayn whispered as if his breath was latching onto Liam’s ears and pulling them towards him. He nodded and slowly stood up with Zayn. The two boys crept solemnly across the  room and silently entered through the sliding glass door to Niall’s balcony.

The night was like the one on Liam’s car, quiet and calm with stars that observed the two boys. Except, this night was a bit colder as Liam could see his breath under him. They found two chairs under a light that Niall kept as they sat there and observed up above. The starry night sky greeted them like a familiar scent, leaving patterns and designs all across.

“I never get tired of watching the stars…” Zayn spoke quietly, causing Liam to turn to him. Now that he could see his face, it looked a bit more gloomy then a few hours ago. Liam edged his chair closer to Zayn and laid his head onto his rigid shoulder. Sure it gave him discomfort, but this feeling he had was more important than pain.

The two sat like this in silence, together and at peace. But Liam felt as if he was still conversing with the boy silently. Like they were speaking silence and able to understand each other. But Zayn moved away and under his breath, he was shaking.

“Liam. You saw them that night, didn’t you?”. He drew back and saw even more pain in Zayn’s eyes. He would never lie to him though, because it’s true. He saw them with his own eyes.

“I did, Zayn. I know about your scars on your arm…”.

“Then, do you hate me…?” this question caused Liam to become appalled and he shook his head rapidly.

“N-no! Of course not! Why would I-“

“Then why did you avoid us, no… me? Why did you avoid me?”. Zayn hiccupped as tears rolled down his darkened cheeks. His eyes were pink and puffy when Zayn sniffled. The boy got up and slowly walked over to the railing on the end, avoiding all eye contact with Liam. He stood up from his chair too and approached Zayn. His arms slid right under Zayn’s and wrapped around tightly to his chest. He could feel the boy’s heartbeat, causing Liam to only smile and lean into his back.

“I was stupid, fucking stupid. Plus, I’m a coward. But I owe you a huge apology, Zayn. For a lot of things I’ve done to you. You’ve gone through so much shit and here I am, being an asshole and not being what a friend, hell a best friend, should be doing: being there for you” Liam quietly spoke to Zayn as the two boys sat there in dead silence. But to Liam’s surprise, Zayn twisted around and crashed into him, holding his sweater with a tight grip and sobbing into his neck. Liam wrapped his arms around Zayn’s upper torso and held the crying boy, for what seemed to be hours.

“I’m such a major fuckup, Leeyum…” he tried to speak but could barely make out a sentence. All the brown haired boy could do was hold Zayn under the clear night and share each other’s warmth.

“It’ll be okay, Zayn. I’m here for you now and I promise I won’t leave…” he cooed lightly into Zayn’s ear. The two were stuck together like glue, until Zayn had stopped and removed himself from Liam, leaving a damp spot on Liam’s sweater.

“Shit, I’m sorry…” he apologized, looking at the damp spot that Zayn had left. Liam only stood by the railing and pulled him to his side with his arm around him.

“I don’t think you need to apologize. But I would like to help you. So, do you think you could tell me about your scars?” Liam questioned. Zayn paused for a moment but eventually gave a sigh. The two looked out at the sky when Zayn slowly opened not only his mouth, but himself as well.

“My father left our family when I was about 9 years old. He was upset my mother was pregnant again and screamed at her that she was useless and deserved to die. I was never a big fan of him, but when he told her that he wanted a boy who wasn’t a failure like me… I broke inside. Hearing my own father say that about me made me feel like I truly was a failure who should have died…” he held back tears that were fighting to escape his eyelids. Liam held onto Zayn tighter from the side and watched him as his breath huffed at different speeds.

“Soon, my mom and my dad divorced and he went off to god knows where. Hell if he’s dead, that wouldn’t surprise me. But we lived back in Bradford for a while and I realized my mom had medical issues and mental problems from my dad. She would say she felt ill a lot, but I remember catching her crying at a picture of the two together. She was always so happy with them, I just felt like I was worthless and a piece of shit for being a major reason to him leaving. So, I picked up a blade and started to cut. I needed physical pain to remind me I was human sometimes…” he spoke nonchalantly but his body quivered, recalling every moment.

“But soon, it turned into if I just had a general problem with something, my mind would resort to cuts being the best solution. I tried to stop many times, but I’ve never been strong enough to, because I’m useless and an utter fail-“ but Liam quickly embraced Zayn to stop him from speaking. He placed a soft kiss on his temple and gazed directly in Zayn’s eyes.

“Zayn Malik, you are anything but useless. You’re a creative, funny, amazing person who brings a smile to anybody’s life and are one of my best friends. Even if you think you bring misery to people, I can damn well let you know you bring nothing but joy and happiness to my life. Niall too, we both appreciate you and you mean a lot to us. There isn’t a day I regret cleaning up the school with you, because it’s how we became best friends… yeah?”.

These words brought a smile to Zayn that Liam had never seen on someone. The way his lips quickly shot up and his dimples wrapped around his mouth, were beautiful. He held onto him one last time that night, and couldn’t feel Zayn shake in sadness anymore.

“Slowly, we will get through this. Not just us two, Niall as well. We’ll both help you out and get you through this, yeah?” Liam spoke like Zayn, to which the boy nodded and flashed a pearly white grin.

“You’re the best Liam, I’m so glad I met you,”.

“Me too Zayn. I’m glad we became friends”.

The two walked back inside as quietly as they left, as if nobody was ever on the balcony that Friday night.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: If you have problems with slurs or get uncomfortable around situations with slurs, please be VERY cautious when reading. Thank you!
> 
> Here is Chapter 7~ the series is coming along at a decent speed. Might be able to finish it by July 31st.

“That’s so fucking stupid…” Liam scoffed under his breath in his English classroom. Mrs. Carter didn’t detect a word he spoke as she continued passing out the exams they took on Frankenstein. He rolled his eyes while gazing at the awful numbers shining in blood-like ink. Niall quickly gazed at his score and stared at Liam with major confusion while people had gotten up to get ready to leave the classroom for the day.

“You got a B-, what’s so bad about that? I got a C…” Niall trailed off into confusion as he kept regarding Liam’s face and how pure his disappointment was.

“To me, a B- might as well be an F. What if my grade drops to an A- for the quarter? My mom would kill me!”.

“Correction: You would kill yourself. Your mom still wonders why you cry about anything that is under an A and says you should relax…”.

“Leeyum got something that wasn’t an A?!” Zayn joined into the conversation, pretending to gasp and act shock. Niall joined in with the charades as the two poked fun in the classroom of silent whispers.

“How dare you get a B-! I ‘ought to throw you outa the house for this son!” Niall tried to imitate his best father-like voice, or at least how his dad sounds when drunk.

“Now your 4.0 GPA…. will be a 3.99999 GPA! Oh the terror!” Zayn fake fainted onto Niall’s desk as the two burst into laughter when Liam’s face started to turn red and he felt steam coming out of his ears as if he was an engine.

“Oh piss off! You lads never have to worry a damn thing about test scores so don’t start shirt with me!” he continued to huff so only Niall and Zayn could hear. He looked out the window to gaze at all the distractions outside of this hell. But Zayn just nodded to Niall and trotted over, quickly wrapping his arms around the frustrated boy and rested his chin on Liam’s head.

“It’s not the end of the world, you know? You’re a smart guy and you have extra credit chances in the future to fix this. But don’t let it ruin your day, yeah?” he whispered into his ear and Liam felt all of his hair on his body stand up straight. At the same time, his whole body had relaxed to, feeling adjusted to Zayn’s touch.

“Thanks… yeah, it won’t ruin my day!” he stood up in pride and collected his belongings as the bell rang. The three boys were the last to leave her classroom and all moved along at the same pace. They had passed by windows that displayed the same cloudy image everybody in Seattle was used to in the early December days.

“I hope it snows soon. Having snow days on our senior year would be a smash, y’know?” Niall said to the two when they were passing through the long hallways.

“I like to watch snow, it’s really pretty and makes me feel happy for some reason,” Zayn told them when Niall laughed a bit.

“Why not play in the snow instead of watching it?”

“Well, I like taking walks in the snow. Does that count?”

“You must be the wild ride at parties, Zayn” Niall rolled his eyes and walked alongside them. Liam laughed a bit as Zayn pouted, edging closer to Liam and their shoulders gradually clipping more often.

Zayn and Liam told Niall the day after the sleepover about what the raven boy was going through. Niall, just as shocked as Liam, asked many questions about why someone “who looked better than gucci models” would ever do that, but eventually was just as supportive to helping Zayn as Liam was. It brought the three closer and they hung out even more. If Liam wasn’t studying, he was with Niall, Zayn, or both.

Liam and Zayn also became more touchy with each other after that night. They weren’t afraid to hug each other in public and gradually show affection. Sure, Liam had some issues with it as people would stare. Zayn would pull him into his full attention in the end and make Liam forget anybody ever watched or gave a damn about what two boys were doing with each other. 

“Okay mates, I’m heading to my next class. I’ll see you at lunch!” Niall cheerfully smiled and waved to Zayn and Liam, pattering amongst the crowd and shuffling into his next class.

The two boys stood alone and then at the same time, gradually moved through the crowds and re-entered through another hallway they had taken previously. Liam always walked Zayn to class, it was a tradition that the two had gotten used to quickly.

“Have you been clean?” he asked, Zayn drew back a bit and gave a quick nod. Liam smiled and wrapped his arm around him, to which Zayn gave in and fell into his embrace.

“It’s been two weeks… and I’ve been feeling a lot better all thanks to you two” Zayn spoke quietly into his ear when they approached Zayn’s next class. He quietly gave him a quick hug and rubbed his hands through the back of Zayn’s hair, avoiding any contact with his quiff (he knows how sensitive Zayn is about his hair at times).

“I’ll see you at lunch, yeah?” Liam spoke like Zayn to which he laughed and nodded. Liam turned the opposite direction and traveled forward. But Liam hated walking away from Zayn, he wanted to break the gap between their lips and dive straight into him. He wanted all of Zayn and desperately.

Life is tough, it sucks more than it’s actually rather tough. You want something but there are so many obstacles that put you off from it. Liam knew this well and would question often why people tried so hard for something. But after meeting someone like Zayn, he realized the effort that people take in relationships and how love is a strong factor in a soul. Having felt no signs of affection to anyone for 17 years puts you off balance. But Liam was deeply in love with the boy who was once mysterious to him.

He didn’t realize there was someone he couldn’t quite recognize standing directly at the end of the hallway. As Liam concentrated, he recognized one of them to be Louis, the guy from his English class. His short brown hair was clearer than ever as he approached him. Louis was probably waiting for someone, so Liam didn’t bother to make an effort to talk with him. But as he walked by Louis, a hand reached for his shoulder to get his attention. Shaken, Liam lunged backward a bit to look at Louis. His eyes locked right into him with a sicken stare that made him nervous as all hell.

“Yo Payne, I gotta ask you something…” he spoke nonchalantly. His tone seemed different as well, making Liam feel unsettled.

“Uh, what is it?”

“You and Zayn are friends, right?” he questioned.

“Yeah. What’s up?” Liam was curious now by the boy’s peaking interest.

“So if you’re friends…” and in one sudden moment, Liam felt a crashing kick fly into his abdominals, causing him to kneel in agonizing pain. “… Then why are you and him acting like faggots?”.

Liam got back up slowly and Louis laughed coldly. The hallways were empty and the bell had rung seconds ago. It was just these two with the nearest classroom miles away in this school of mazes and chaotic endeavors.

“What the fuck was that for?!” Liam spoke under his breath, still trying to catch his breath from the blow.

“You’re just some faggot who’s sick and disgusting. I see the way you and Zayn hold each other and whisper in each other’s ears, it’s disgusting,” Louis harshly spit those words at Liam. Every single one were like daggers that pierced through his hollow body and struck his heart. He felt like a statue that was collapsing, piece by piece.

“Are you gonna say something, faggot?” Louis jabbed his foot onto Liam’s toes, creating more pain. His leg muscles were strong thanks to years and years of playing soccer, making the damage even worse.

“Really, that’s all? Man, you and the other freak should just kill yourselves. If that other faggot didn’t show up, you probably wouldn’t be this way, you know that? It’s fucking path-“ he was cut off as a furious Liam struck him in the throat with one quick jab. Louis fell back and collapsed on the ground, coughing furiously as air escaped him. In just a second, Liam and Louis had switched places.

“You can say all the shit you want about me, but don’t you fucking dare spit one insult towards Zayn, ever again. Do I make myself fucking clear?” he was agitated and on the edge to attacking Louis again. The hacking boy slowly rose up and scowled at him, mouthing a quick message before he turned his head and walked away in defeat.

“This isn’t over yet, you prick,”.

***

He decided not to tell Zayn about what happened. In Zayn’s current state, Liam was afraid that anything he heard would be a trigger to start cutting again. He wanted to protect him at all costs and keep Zayn in the healthy state he’s in, because seeing Zayn smile is what drives him on through a day. However, he did inform Niall about what happened.

 Rather, Niall asked him about why the “soccer star” had problems running after school because of a mark on his throat.

“Simple. I jabbed the prick so he wouldn’t speak shit about Zayn,” he grinned on the phone while typing up his essay that night. Niall only scoffed and coughed a bit on his drink when he heard him say that.

“Hold the fuck up, you actually fought back?”

“It’s a surprise, I actually have guts,” Liam shrugged like it was just another day. The room around him was a glowing orange from the sunset behind the window shutters, his shadow reaching across the room as well.

“You honestly love him then, no questions there…” the blonde trailed off for a bit before scratching his throat and sipping more of his lemonade.

“Do you have any idea when you plan to confess to him?” Liam thought about this for a long time, knowing it would be impossible to keep this hidden from Zayn. But at the same time, he was afraid he would be rejected and sent to the side like Harry. What if Zayn was straight? What if Zayn was dating someone back home? Many questions ran through his head when he thought about ever telling him how he feels.

“Honestly mate, I don’t know. When the time comes, I’ll do it, yeah?” he chuckled a bit and gazed downward to his homework.

“Holy shit, it’s like talking to a 2nd Zayn the way you picked up on his speech,” Niall laughed a bit before his mom yelled in the distance to do your homework (“and for god sakes, leave leftovers next time!” he heard her yell over the phone, causing Liam to laugh intensely). As Niall hung up, Liam quickly sped through the last of his business tech homework and got ready for bed. While brushing his teeth in the dim lighted bathroom, a text had come in on his phone, vibrating loudly on the towels to his side. He swiped the message to see a familiar face he might spend too much time thinking about.

From: **Zayyyn (:** / December 6th, 10:07 PM

_Could you bring your copy of Wuthering Heights for English tomorrow? I left mine in my locker ):_

Liam couldn’t help but chuckle, the way Zayn used his emoticons backwards like Liam does. He scanned his room and found the copy of Wuthering Heights, sitting on his bed.

To: **Zayyyn (:** / December 6th, 10:08 PM

_I got you covered Zaynie (: Now get some sleep! We have a quiz tomorrow._

From: **Zayyyn (:** / December 6 th, 10:10 PM

_Thank you! And shut up Leeyum, why aren’t you asleep, huh?!_

Liam flashed a final grin before he turned off the lights and lay as solid as a statue in his bed. He felt veiled by warmth from his wool blankets that concealed his body heat very well where he lay, staring at the message Zayn had sent. His breath was shaky as he lay his phone on the side and closed his eyes quickly, feeling the darkness snatch his eyes away.

He had to tell Zayn soon, before his heart explodes from his chest.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoooo Chapter 8 is here. I hope everyone is having a good day / night / whatever time it is for you~
> 
> I'm gonna try and update a Chapter a day. If not, a Chapter every 2-3 days probably. My goal is to finish this by the end of July and start some other story, or even a series maybe for August. Ya never know.

“You know Liam, I’ve noticed how much more outgoing and busy you've become since senior year started,” his mother insouciantly spoke as the two sat at the oak wood table, the smell of toast, eggs and bacon steering through the air. Liam lightly sipped his tea he had made, feeling the herbal push through his throat and the essence whipping through his nostrils, making his body feel a soothing sensation.

“I… have? Really?”

“You’ve been hanging out with Niall and that Zayn guy more often than usual, it’s building up a new Liam!” she laughed, filling the silent air with banal chatter and raising excitement. Liam only shrugged it off and continued to eat his breakfast on the cloudy, Saturday December morning.

“Speaking of which, you said they were coming over for a bit?” she brought up the question. Liam gave a quick nod, finishing up the last of his tea.

“Yeah, we’re gonna meet up here for a bit and then head out to the mall in Centralia, they have a huge annual sale going for the holidays. We should be back around 5 or so…” Liam answered. She gave an approving nod and sipped her coffee quietly. Liam calmly collected his dishes and dragged himself to the dishwasher, feeling the early morning fatigue from an exhausting week, heck even past month.

“Liam, do you have a quick moment to chat? It’ll only be a moment…” he heard his mom holler from the other room. His ears ringed and he answered back, walking over to the table and placing himself across from her. Karen’s pupils were regarding some paperwork in front of her. He could scan the words real estate on them, giving Liam an interest.

“Is something wrong, mum?” he asked. She locked her eyes onto Liam’s and let out a deep breath before looking back down at her papers again.

“Be honest with me now…” she flicked her work papers away and gazed directly into Liam’s pupils. Her glasses hitched a little off her facial frame. She took a deep breath, focusing all of her attention towards Liam.

“Are you gay, Liam?”.

Those words shot through his whole heart like a bullet and ripped through all of his thoughts. He was appalled, yet not surprised as his mom was a very curious parent in his life. He edged in his seat, uncomfortable with how to even tackle this situation.

“Why are you bringing this up of all times, now?”.

“I don’t fully get it, but it has something to do with that Zayn boy…” she took a moment to swallow her coffee and went straight back to Liam. “The way you look at him, it’s as if you’re a bee who sees a fresh flower. Even I would have to be blind if I couldn’t see that, Liam…” her words gave Liam a flashback to what Niall said on the phone, about him being able to see how clear it was. It made Liam think if it was that obvious he was in love with Zayn.

“So, Liam. Are you gay or are you straight? Or even bisexual, maybe?” Karen leaned in to make sure she could pick up on every word Liam spoke. But to her surprise, he gave out a shaky sigh and looked up from his tea.

“Would you hate me if I was?” he spoke out loud. He said it, he actually said those words. Liam felt like punching himself 100 times and throwing himself under a bulldozer. Stupid! Why the hell did he say that?

But Karen simply stood up silently and pulled her son into a hug. She was smiling, a flashy grin that didn’t suit her businesswoman-appeal at all. But Liam didn’t care, because she was thrilled with her son.

“Liam Payne, no matter what you do in life and no matter what choices you make or who you love, I could never hate you. Not in ten, twenty, or ten thousand years. Because you are my son, and I will always love you no matter what,” she grazed Liam’s back with her hands and then looked down at his face. Liam’s eyes were a bit watery but he was able to come out to his mom and not get thrown out of the house. Seriously, that’s a huge accomplishment.

The doorbell grabbed their attention from the emotional scene that was occurring. She gave a simple nod to her son as he ran away through the kitchen, nearly tripping on the door frame. He answered the door to the early morning faces of Niall and Zayn, both casually walking inside and collapsing on the nearest couch.

“It’s way too early to be out, Leeyum!” Zayn whined in a muffled voice from laying face first into the leather couch. Niall spread himself on the end, panting short breaths and eye locking with the ceiling.

“Not to mention, we sprinted here because god knows why but Zayn had to go back to his home… twice, for his phone and wallet…” Niall huffed out his words in exhaustion, causing Liam to break out in laughter.

“It’s not even 9AM and you guys are already making my day. It was both of your guys’ idea to go to the mall early anyway. Don’t pin it on me,” he declared to them and mainly stared at Niall. He helped the two up and swiped his keys that lived on the silver hook. “You guys can rest in my Camry before we get there,” the three boys emerged into the chilly, crisp air. The outside was barren and taken of life, with only dead trees left behind. The sky was painted with gray clouds that looked as if they could cry tears of rain every second. Liam analyzed his surroundings, being able to see their breaths that escaped from their mouths when they entered into his car. But before Liam started his car, Zayn’s eyes widened in terror and he smacked his hand on the side of the car.

“Shit! I left my credit card at home!” he yelled, the two boys groaning together in perfect sync.

***

After a trip to Zayn’s house, Starbucks and a gas station because Liam didn’t realize just how low his gas was, the boys arrived at the shopping centre in Centralia. It was like an outdoor mall, surrounded by shops and stores with different clothing, accessories and supplies to buy. Many people of different heights and ages were all like a flock, endlessly swarming from one store to another. Niall was in awe as he stared back at the McDonalds just 50 feet away from him.

“Are you guys hungry?” he abruptly asked.

“Niall, we literally ate an hour ago! Well, I did at least,” the brown haired boy rolled his eyes and batted away to the different jackets he saw on the rack. Each was displayed in different colors that were crafted perfectly. In a trance, he emerged with the crowd into the store and regarded all of the different jackets. What store was he even in? He didn’t know. But all of the different clothes were exciting to him.

He glanced at each price tag. Upon reading Hollister, the prices pulled his attention in. Most were pretty cheap, compared to his online shopping. But Liam doubted how well the clothes were made and browsed through the entire isle for a few minutes.

“You don’t shop much, do you?” Zayn slid by him, their elbows contacting which caused Liam’s heart to jump out of his chest in excitement.

“I order online, not a huge fan of shopping really…” he spoke earnestly. Zayn shrugged his shoulders when Liam had noticed he already had clothes that dangled from his right forearm. The boy turned to Liam and caught him staring.

“I’m thinking about getting some new cardigans. What do you think?” he showcased them to Liam. There was a red and grey one that were quite the sight to Liam. He awed them outwardly and gave quick nods to Liam.

“You have good taste in fashion, Zayn!” he complimented him and Zayn let out his adorable laugh that rang through his ears like a lullaby.

“Well, I don’t think so but thank you Liam. Sometimes, I wonder if what I buy would even look good on me”.

“Don’t be silly, anything would look good on you,” Liam spoke, without realizing just how stupid that was. He blushed slightly and shot his vision downward, trying to forget what he just said. But Zayn smiled and brushed alongside Liam, as the three boys went around the store, scavenging for deals and sales—even Niall, who normally portrayed no interest in clothes—was competing around with many others.

This continued for a couple hours, a repetitive process of mindlessly giving dollar bills to cashiers and walking out with a new piece of clothing that god knows someone would ever wear. Zayn, however, was beaming in excitement the more he bought things.

“Leeyum, can we go to Barnes and Noble?!” he begged, pulling on his sweater like a dog. He examined to where Zayn had pointed and viewed the store he was talking about. With pale, white walls that hugged the outer surface and giant windows that looked like eyes to the building, the place was huge. Liam smiled and agreed, as the two swiftly entered into the giant bookstore.

It was hard to describe what Liam captivated through his own eyes. The musky smell of old pages and books blasted into his nose and he could see just how large the store was. There were at least 3 floors, each connected by noisy wooden stairs. Each floor was flooded with books that contained different styles and titles. The waves of people that washed through the floors were endless, as more and more drifted in like a tide.

Oh how Liam wishes he had a camera. When he turned his attention to Zayn’s face, he could see every speck and sparkle that lit up in his pupils. It was fascinating, how such a sight could make someone so excited. Zayn could barely resist the urge to yell as he joined the crowds and quickly went scanning for a book.

“Well, that works too…” Liam spoke to himself. He sent a quick text to Niall, letting him know that the two were in the store and would probably be there for a while. And regarding the time, he noticed it was only half past 11, meaning they had plenty of time before even having to plan to go home. So Liam chased after Zayn into the crowd, feeling a few pushes and shoves here and there.

Aisle after aisle, he was greeted with more books and more pictures. It got to the point where Liam was getting a tad frustrated, how did people manage to navigate this area so calmly? He rolled his eyes, knowing Zayn was probably having the time of his life. So he decided to settle down and try out a book. Liam scanned the aisles in the young adult section and saw the general same shit he had always seen. Romance, more romance, romance with a girl who thinks romance is stupid. Nothing had stood out, until a picture of a girl with a sickle and blood stabbed his attention.

“Battle Royale…” he muttered the words under his breath while looking through it. The book was about 42 students in a Japanese Middle School class who had to kill each other under government ruling. Normally, Liam disliked the dystopian-type novels, but this seemed interesting to him. He placed himself in a crimson red rocking chair and opened the novel.

Within seconds, he was hooked. The characters were quickly introduced and Shuya, the main character, was one of the most relatable characters he’s ever read. Minutes went by like they were nothing and Liam would flip through page, regarding all the details. He felt as if he was an actual participant in the trial, seeing all of the student’s surroundings. He was entranced into the book and kept reading amongst himself.

His phone vibrated, snapping Liam back to reality when he checked the time. It was already a little after 12 and Niall would be ready in five minutes. He sighed, but decided that Battle Royale was worth the money.

“So you’re getting a book as well, Liam?” a calming voice called to him. He flipped around and saw Zayn with multiple novels. He smiled wryly, looking down at his stash he found while searching. Zayn looked closely at the book Liam was carrying, his eyes widening in the process.

“Battle Royale, huh? It’s a pretty good book!” he sounded like a promoter, or an advertiser.

“It’s fantastic! I haven’t read a good novel like this in a long time. Shuya’s character keeps me involved with everything” he begun to discuss. Zayn laughed and nodded in agreement. Suddenly, there was silence between the two. They both looked over the railing and saw everybody hustling around and buying books like their life depended on it. Zayn revealed a sincere smile and looked back to the different books around him.

“I’m glad we got to stop by this place, it was amazing!” he sounded enthusiastic, giving Liam a feeling to crack a smile. The young adult section was cleared and it was only the two boys alone as if they were in their own world.

“I’m glad you could home, Zayn. It’s always fun to hang out like this, yeah?”.

“Yeah, it is Liam… it really is.” Liam watched as Zayn’s face changed a bit to a more dramatic shade. He felt bad for Zayn and all he endured these past few years. Sometimes, Liam wondered if he had anybody to talk to in Bradford like he did here, because in Wolverhampton Liam had nobody. He was alone, like a small boy in a giant crowd that pushes on.

“Shit, we were supposed to meet Niall a while ago, weren’t we?” Zayn laughed when Liam panicked and checked his phone. They were 5 minutes late, Niall was going to probably commit cannibalism if he doesn’t eat soon. The two hurried along the aisles and passed through people as they approached the main entrance.

Liam looked ahead and then, his feet had sunk. His heart was beating rapidly when he noticed the small figure ahead. The same black hair that was cut like a boys, the same posture that he saw a month ago. He grew terrified and booked it to the side, avoiding all eye contact with her. He pulled Zayn to the side as well, being quiet about it.

There was no mistake. Deborah is in the book store as well.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yooo Chapter 9 is here!
> 
> This is about nearly double to what the Chapter length usually is (which is 2,000 words. This is 3,450 words or so). The reason being, I was planning to have this as Chapter 9 and 10, but decided later to just make it Chapter 9 instead.
> 
> Enjoy~ Have a wonderful day too!

Glancing one last time, he peeked out to make sure his instinct was correct. Deborah was flipping through a beauty magazine with some photoshopped model blasted on the cover. A shirt that was two sizes too small dawned on her with low rise skinny jeans. Her face lightened up the more she read—her eyes smashing together in crinkles the way she read through the magazine. It made Liam feel some discomfort.

His companion tugged on the side, making him glimpse over to Zayn in curiosity.

“Uh, Liam? Are you… okay?” his fingers were like feathers to his back as he traced them in a circle, making Liam feel in trance. However, he quickly snapped back his attention to Deborah as her figure had closer insight, meaning she was approaching. He nodded to Zayn and tugged his hand, pulling him like a current down the aisle.

Liam had to keep Zayn away from Deborah at all costs. He snarled under his breath when he recalled her talking down to Zayn, calling him a “fag” and laughing about it. If those two were to meet again, only hell would break loose. So he pulled Zayn to the other side, trying to avoid running into Deborah.

“This was the way we took before, right?” Liam faked a question, trying to divert Zayn’s suspicions at all costs.

“We were on the right path, I’ll show you,” Zayn took his hand, steering them back to where they started. Liam felt tension rising all over his body and fear latching onto him, pushing him under like he was a rock. In a moment, he pretended to be entranced by something.

“Z! Check this out!” he whispered to him, causing him to halt in his tracks. The two looked at a picture of Luke Hemmings, the lead singer of a famous band called 5 Seconds of Summer. It was a magazine featuring the whole band and an interview with them about their upcoming album. Truth be told, Liam had no idea who they were. He just saw this as a chance to keep away from Deborah.

“Yeah? I didn’t know you liked them. They’re not my favorite band, but they have some smashing songs I guess,” he curiously examined the magazine, letting Liam sigh off a couple pounds. He glanced to his right and noticed that Deborah was not there anymore. But if she wasn’t there…

His own face could have been used for the scariest picture of the year if someone took a picture of it.

Zayn and Deborah were right next to each other, both reading different magazines and nonchalantly browsing through them. What amazed Liam was that both had one quality they shared: not realizing what was around them.

He quickly shoved his fingers through his tiny pockets and pulled out his phone, they were 10 minutes late and Niall had sent a text asking where they were. “Shit…” he huffed, drawing back to the two statues that were drowned in the magazine’s contents. He only had one shot and he had to be quick about it to get Zayn as far away from Deborah as possible.

He swiped the magazine from Zayn’s hands and grabbed his wrist. Accidentally, their fingers became entwined, but Liam had little time to care. He pulled Zayn and started to run by Deborah. As he turned the corner, his eyes caught vision of Deborah turning her head from the magazine. He pulled Zayn quickly and powered through, making sure she didn’t see them.

“We’re late!” he told the confused boy behind him, who nodded and chugged along with Liam. They dropped the magazine somewhere and went down the stairs quickly. As quick as possible, the two boys bought their books and flopped through the crowd to the exit, where an impatient blonde boy was waiting for them.

“What the hell took ya so long?!” Niall scoffed, edging his glare towards Liam. He moved back, trying to avoid the pierce from his eyes while Zayn could only laugh, trying to get the two moving.

“What do you guys want to do for lunch? I’m down for anything, yeah?” Zayn proposed the thought, he ran his fingers through his hair trying to make it stand up as much as possible.

“McDonalds sounds great!” Niall shot through with his idea, making Liam frown deeper and groan.

“I think I’d prefer an actual restaurant, Niall. Sorry bro,” Zayn replied, causing Niall to make a gruff noise and roll his eyes.

“Well, how about Applebee’s? I know there is one really close…” Liam spoke the first thing that came to his mind when Zayn and Niall nodded in agreement. He smiled, feeling a lot of tension release as the two had gotten away from Deborah now.

“Let’s go let’s go let’s go! We don’t have all day,” the blonde and hungry boy tried to shove the two to Liam’s car while the two laughed and went alongside him to his car.

***

The three boys sat with their drinks and plates on the side, the lighting above was dim and measly adjusted to the table. Surrounding them was a darkened atmosphere with faint music, neon lights of apples and many different size waiters and waitresses roaming the restaurant, looking for people in need of their assistance. Niall’s arms were tucked behind him upward, stretching while Zayn was looking at his phone, checking his reflection without a doubt.

Liam was left, watching these two look like they owned the world with how carefree they were. He played with his ice, using the crimson red straw in his cup. The ice crashed together, giving Liam subtle peace while the three just hung out like this.

It was a peaceful atmosphere that really required no talking. All it needed were Zayn, Niall and Liam to be together and to just hang out. Liam had been doing this since September, he had never truly understood just how much this kind of feeling meant to him if he could be with his two best friends.

Well, best friend and love interest.

“I’m surprised Niall,” Zayn was the first to speak out. He set down his phone on the glass table and painted a smirk on his face, regarding the new sweater Niall had placed on himself before entering. “Since when did you have such good fashion taste?”.

“I might not look like it, but I do like to keep up with some trends, ya know?” he puffed his chest and looked like a spotlight would rain upon him. Liam and Zayn belted out in laughter upon hearing those words, causing somewhat disturbance amongst the lunch hour crowd. Niall frowned immediately, raising his eyebrows.

“What?” he barked harshly. “Is it surprising I like fashion?” Niall inquired, rattling his ice inside his coke. Zayn promptly shook his head and gestured waving signs with his hands.

“Not at all mate! I just never thought you would like that kind of stuff…” he conveyed, his sentence slowly becoming silent. Liam nodded in agreement, as he realized there wasn’t much he knew about the blonde boy besides his love for food, soccer, slacking off and cute girls he hooks up with.

“A big surprise then. Horan likes fashion, get the press!” he snorted, making Zayn mimic his actions. Liam remit a tiny smile before slurping up the last of his drink. He swayed his attention to the outskirts of the restaurant and in just a matter of seconds, he could swear everything around him faded away. This was Liam’s specialty, being able to silence his surroundings.

It was as if Liam was a realistic mannequin, acting like his soul was there—but nowhere to be found. He closed his eyes and played back all the memories his senior year has consisted of. The time he got sent to detention thanks to Niall, the different subjects they covered in his classes, the time he met Zayn.

The time he met Zayn.

Hanging out with Zayn after picking up garbage. Being able to spend time with Zayn at McDonalds and Starbucks. The time Zayn spent the night at his house. The first time they cuddled while Liam cried at The Fault in Our Stars. The time they watched the stars together, regarding every speck in the sky as a symbol to their future. The moments Liam saw Zayn like a star in the spotlight from his car headlights and how he recalled every piece of him being a perfect masterpiece.

Of course, the time Liam saw Zayn’s scars, and how Liam learned just how cowardly he was.

In the three and a half months of school Liam has been in, most of it has consisted of him enjoying every second of Zayn’s company. The way the raven boy touched him and spoke to him was like an effective tranquilizing dart—he could be put to sleep in a second with no regrets. The fact that one person, no, one boy, a simple high school boy, could do this to Liam made him feel dazzled and stir him with rollercoaster’s of emotions. It shattered his mental self completely, his whole point of senior year was to study hard and get into a good college.

Now he doesn’t want senior year to end. He wants Zayn to be there forever.

“Leeyum! Are you there? Li!” Zayn’s melodic voice pulled him back into the reality of the neon lights. He locked eyes with a concerned Niall and Zayn, the two appearing as if they saw a strange UFO.

“Are you okay mate? You zoned out for a good solid 3 minutes…” Niall murmured, looking like a dog without a bone. Liam thought about just saying he was fine, but instead he sighed a bit and gave a pleasant smile to the two.

“I was thinking about what a certain blonde boy told me the first day I met him,” he glanced to Niall, observing his body movement and facial expression. “About how our lives can get so intertwined with each other, and how someone can mean the world to somebody else and maybe we don’t even know it. While I thought about that, it made me realize just how much I love you guys,” he sheepishly admitted and blushed. The words sounded a lot better in his head.

Niall and Zayn laughed and nodded in sync. “As fucking cheesy as that is, I have to agree with you on that,” the blonde ascended from his chair and chugged around the table’s frame. Niall tossed his loose arms around Liam and Zayn’s shoulder frame from behind them, locking a squeeze from both ends. The three all smiled together and mixed together to form a group hug, of some sort.

“We’ve done a lot together in just a couple months, haven’t we?” Zayn questioned, being rattled together with the two. “I mean, imagine the more adventures we will have after the winter break, and Spring, and not to mention Summer!” he listed off occasions and beamed with excitement, as if he could light up this whole establishment.

“Hell yeah! We ain’t going anywhere!” Niall cheered as Liam sank into their warmth and closed his eyes, admitting a warm grin and enjoyed this moment the three shared for as long as it should have lasted.

He wished under his breath, it could have lasted forever.

***

The three spent the rest of the afternoon exploring the different sights (which consisted of cow farms) and playing soccer. Liam quickly discovered Zayn was god awful at soccer, not being able to kick it far. Him and Niall had practice under their belt, so they spent a good amount of time teaching Zayn the basics. But the more they tried, the more Zayn failed and often ended with him and his ass on the ground. They could only laugh at his witty attempts.

The fresh smell of winter pine and cold airs gave Liam warmth as he pulled into his rigid driveway. His time flashed 5:30, but by good chance his mother’s car was nowhere to be found, making Liam ponder to where she could have gone at such a time. The sky was painted a dark blue while the stars made an appearance in the sky, shinning like pearls. The three got out of the warm car to cool blasts of wind and cold shuddering.

“I’ll see you two later! I got some errands to run before I head on home,” Niall waved to the two as he swiped his phone from his pocket, calling his mother and greeting her with loud cheering to where he was. He faded away into the night, leaving Liam and Zayn alone in front of his house.

The streetlights had turned on, piercing the darkness like arrows. But everywhere else was purely reticent.  Upon examining his surroundings, Liam and Zayn both looked at each other, exchanging smiles.

“You said your mom wouldn’t be here for about half an hour?”

“Yeah, something like that, Knowing her it might be up to an hour…” he rolled his eyes and exhaled softly. He could detect the small, icy cloud that was Zayn’s breath escaping from him.

“Then, let’s go inside. We can play video ga-“ Liam tried to move along and finish his sentence, but Zayn had cuffed his wrist with his own fingers. He met eyes with Zayn who looked as if he was pleading.

“Let’s go for a walk, Li,” he let out a smile. “I want to talk, yeah?”

“If that’s what you want, then sure Z.” he agreed. Zayn gave a quick smile, suddenly walking along the sidewalk. Liam tagged by his side like a magnet, the two walking in perfect combination.

Silence swarmed the air, just the presence of each two could only be heard. Liam batted his attention away, unsure of what Zayn had truly wanted. What was so important to speak about? Was there something going on? Questions cycled rapidly around inside his head. But Zayn tugged on his palms, making him feel a bit more relaxed.

“What you said back at Applebee’s…” Zayn spoke. His eyes made contact into Liam’s pupils. “Did you mean it, 100%?”.

“Of course Zayn. I would never lie to you guys. You both mean a lot to me, yeah?” he wrapped his arm around Zayn’s waist, feeling an aura of warmth submerge through his body. Pulling him into a hug made Liam feel much more relaxed.

“Then… I need to ask you,” Zayn spoke into Liam’s shoulders. His voice was shaky, making the brown haired boy feel panicky. “Do you only hang out with me because of what I told you that night in November? Do you only talk to me because you feel pity in me?”

“Zayn… what are you talking about?” Liam pulled away and looked at him. The boy had tears begging to escape from his eyelids and his voice was full of croaks. He quickly pulled Zayn into a hug and rushed his hands through Zayn’s hair.

“I hang out with you because you’re special. I think you’re one of the best things to have happened in my l-“ Zayn broke away quickly and stumbled back a few feet. The fading light from the streetlamp rained on Zayn and all of his features. He could make out tears that ran down his cheeks.

“I get it Liam! You would feel bad if you ditched me, so you choose to stay by my side because you want to be a good person. I get it, yeah? But seriously!” Zayn called out, almost not being able to finish his sentence. “I-I’m okay. You don’t have to worry about me all the time…” his words were like stab wounds to Liam’s heart. Zayn huffed and tried to grab his breath back. Liam was trying to process everything that he heard, but nothing was making sense. All of it was failed computing and Liam shook his head in disagreement.

“Zayn.. the hell? Where is all of this coming from?!” he held back as much of the rage in his sentence, but it didn’t work so well. “Why do you suddenly think I pity you and only talk to you because of your scars?”

“You tried to avoid Deborah and make me not notice her at all costs. You never told me a damn word about how Louis was talking shit about you and I and you also didn’t tell me how you casually have been trying to keep my attention away from what other people say. You never tell me anything that could possibly offend me, Liam. So tell me, am I a doll to you? Do I look like a glass doll that will break if I hear something offensive?!” Zayn barked furiously. His eyes were full of rage and tears that made Liam quiver in his stance. He had never seen Zayn like this before. But then Liam realized what Zayn had said was true. Every single bit of it.

Liam was being selfish. He assumed Zayn would break down if he heard everything and tried to be a shield to him. He should have known Zayn would figure it out, he talks to people that aren’t Niall or him. He ignored this, however, because Zayn was like a glass doll to him. Liam thought it was his job to protect him at all costs.

“You don’t have to hang around me anymore. I’ll be fucking fine on my own… tell Niall that too,” Zayn hissed and turned away, beginning to speed walk away. Liam caught sight of Zayn’s backside. But his vision was blurry for some reason, making Liam curious. When he dragged his finger across his chalked cheeks, he felt the sensation of a warm liquid running down his face.

“Tears… well of course. I get it now, I mean…“ he muttered under his breath. However, he didn’t need to finish his sentence before he quickly sprinted as fast as he could. Of course, he was crying still. But at the same time, he knew that was no reason to stop where he was.

Every moment with Zayn was flashing back multiple times. All the times he could count the dimples on Zayn’s face, the times he nuzzled against him and the times they hugged with force, like glue. All those moments made Liam happy and he knew he couldn’t let that go. Not for a minute, not even for a second.

He needed Zayn in his life more than he had ever realized.

“Zayn Javadd Malik!” he yelled as loud as he could. His voice echoed and bounced alongside the dark streets. He couldn’t see anything, even with the streetlights. Liam only picked up the pace, ignoring his new scarf almost blowing away multiple times. He ignored how cloudy his vision was with tears that ran down his cheeks. But eventually, he saw the figure of someone he knew very well.

“Zayn Javadd Malik!” he repeated, watching as the boy turned to him. Zayn’s eyes widened when Liam slammed into him with a great hug, his arms quivering as he tried his best to hold Zayn. He pulled back a bit, holding onto his forearms while Liam’s teary eyes looked straight into Zayn’s.

“I’m a coward. I’m pathetic. I’m a loser who refuses to acknowledge that there is more to life than academics and a job,” he rambled, catching his breath under his sobs. “But I also know…  I also know that when I meet someone as special as you, Zayn Malik…” more whimpering and crying. Zayn’s eyes were still puffy as well when Liam forced him to the side of a fence. He felt the rattle from the chains vibrate amongst Zayn’s backsides, his eyes still locked onto the raven boys. At this time, Liam had noticed how the light shined on Zayn. It was as if he absorbed all the light and stood out, like a disco ball. He was the one who lit up the streets, and he was also the one who lit up his life.

“I know that I have to treasure them and make sure they know how much I care about them. Because Zayn, you’re a super smart, super creative and soulful person who I could never live without. I need someone like you in my life who I can unravel all of my inner feelings to. The reason I never wanted you to know about Deborah, Louis’s words and all of the shit people throw at us is because, because…” Liam stuttered and shot one last look into his eyes.

“Because I’m in love with you, Zayn Malik! I’m madly in love with you!” he shouted out three months of heart racing emotions in an exasperated voice. With one simple second, Liam’s lips crashed right onto Zayn’s as if they belonged there.  


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 10 whoooa. It's weird, I rarely have this much dedication but yeah!
> 
> Ahh 30+ kudos, thank you so much everyone :X and 830+ hits too, this is making me so happy. I hope you enjoy Chapter 10~ will try to update Chapter 11 by Saturday - Sunday ish.

On December 15, approximately 5:47 PM, Liam Payne had confessed to Zayn Malik and felt a chunk of weight lifted off his chest, as if he would ascend into the sky at any moment.

He quickly separated from Zayn’s trembling lips, inching backwards. Cold winds pulled through the air and whipped across Liam’s half-soaked face from tears. The two were frozen in time, only letting out small puffs of breath and locking into each other’s eyes. Liam felt all the force from what he had done, it hit him like a train wreck rather.

“Shit Zayn, I’m so sorry. I… I didn’t mean to-“ he broke off, quickly turning direction and exerting himself away from the boy. But as he begun to exit, a warm, clammy grip tugged him right back to where he was. Liam turned around to see Zayn, his lips were tugged upward in a smile. He only gazed in awe into Zayn’s eyes which were a maze to Liam’s vision.

“You love me? You… honestly… love me?” the boy repeated in realization—as if Liam had vanished into the darkness of the neighborhood and he was speaking to himself. Quickly, Liam took hold of Zayn’s hands and flashed a white grin.

“More than the world, Zayn” he spoke, but in spur of the moment, Zayn giggled into the cold airs, making Liam feel a bit discomfort as if his words bounced off him and had no meaning.

“That was really cheesy, you know,” he stuck out his tongue while Liam playfully punched his arm. They shared a warming chuckle which breached the silence all around. The streetlight sheltered them away from the darkness while the two had a moment to see through each other’s eyes.

“Ok, it was cheesy. But you get the point, Zayn. I...” Liam’s cheeks had turned rose red while he relocated his vision elsewhere. “I love you. Do you love me as well? If you don’t, then I totally understand and we can just be friends and pretended this never happened. Or maybe I could just realize how much of an idiot I was fo-“ he tried to finish, but a familiar sensation brushed onto Liam’s lips.

Zayn’s lips wavered and brushed along Liam’s, their hands gripping to each other for dear life. Liam could taste the mint gum Zayn had chewed an hour ago, as well as feel how chapped his lips were from the cold weather. It was like a rocky terrain, the more the boys swayed to the side and moved their lips along to a nonexistent beat.

But it was soft, sweet and Liam wanted more. The rigid feeling of his lips exploring the barren, cold sensation made his heart burst into fireworks. As Zayn pulled away, Liam didn’t realize how out of breath he could get from one simple kiss.

“The answer is yes, Liam Payne. Fuckin’ yes, I’m in love with you,” he pecked the brown haired boy’s lips once again. “You’re like stars to my night sky, babe”.

“And you call me cheesy,” Liam rolled his eyes, making Zayn pout a bit. But he thought about the way Zayn said babe. How it excited him, the amount of power those words could have on him. He felt his whole body tingling like a rocket, forcing a smile to be plastered on his face.

“So then… are we official? Like, are we going out?” he asked to Zayn. The raven boy only licked his lips and leaned in to Liam’s frame, leaving traces of his fingers on the back of his shoulders.

            “Well, would you have the honor,” he chuckled midway. “To being my boyfriend, Liam James Payne?”, and Liam couldn’t have heard such a sentence that would make his face shine like that ever again. The word: boyfriend, it’s amazing how much he used to resent a word like that. But upon hearing Zayn scramble it from his mouth, it was as if he fell into a soothing daze that made him grow weak.

“Do I even need to give an answer?” Liam cooed lightly and placed a simple peck on Zayn’s lips and muttered a soft yes under his breath—just low enough for the two to hear it. Zayn’s face brightened up as he locked his fingers between Liam’s, feeling nothing but joy and cherishing delight.

The two fed each other smiles and gentle hugs until Zayn’s mom arrived later that night.

***

Due to volunteering and Zayn’s family, the two boys didn’t get to see each other at all during the holiday break. Zayn’s family was strict about relatives and banned him from using his phone. However, Zayn was hard to break and he still managed to send a text to Liam here and there about the “boring shit” his family wanted to do that day. Liam only let out stages of laughter to each adventure he read from Zayn—like he could hear the sarcastic remarks that would come from his mouth.

 Even Niall—the one who prefers sleeping over studying—was too busy to even make plans, focusing on his scholarship applications. But that didn’t stop Liam’s constant blush overshadowing his emotions, receiving texts from Zayn full of hearts and smiles. The more he glanced at his phone, the more he floundered in his seat at dinner.

            Liam eventually told his mum on Christmas Eve of how Zayn and him were official—boyfriend and boyfriend. To his surprise as the words blurted out, she simply exchanged a smile and sipped her coffee.

“So you finally made your move? I’m impressed, Liam. I was betting on February, but Christmas is pretty romantic too, you know?” she let out a giggle and Liam smiled back earnestly, with how happy his mother was.

“You should invite the boy over sometime! Perhaps after Christmas we can do something? Taking down the decorations would be a great way to bond with your new boyfriend you know!” she pleaded, batting her eyelashes at Liam’s direction. The amber boy rolled his eyes and tilted his neck to her.

“Well, some of his mum’s side of the family is visiting from Bradford. He’s been locked in with family plans and probably won’t be free until they leave,” Liam grimaced upon saying those words, wanting Zayn by his side majorly.

“And when do they leave?”

“January 4th, the day before school starts again,” his mother grunted and sipped her coffee again while Liam just wore a smile and laughed, enjoying the Christmas Eve to themselves.

Overall, Liam had a great Christmas and break. He got ahead in his studies, played some video games that were on his backburner and even had someone to text 24/7 now. Without fail every time, he would grin wryly when “ ** _Z Babe <3_**” flashed upon his iPhone’s screen. His heart was on constant races the more he texted Zayn, and the days seemed to pass by quicker and quicker.

“Way too fuckin’ quick” Liam grumbled, slowly withdrawing from his slumber that hung with him around the break. He eyed his calendar and knew today was the first day back, oh how much he hated having to go back. He quickly jumped in the shower and engaged the hot water, letting it collide against his body and race down his lower body.

He shut his eyes and let it whip against his face, slowly waking him up. He became more thoughtful after the shower and woke up slowly through the process of getting ready (simply combing out and blow drying his hair, an easy text), to which he realized it was the first time in two weeks he’d see Zayn. Rather, his boyfriend. He grinned wildly, leaving the bathroom after giving two quick sprays of cologne. He jumped into some gray chinos and put on a simple jet black shirt and an overbearing black sweater. Topped with his new red scarf he got from Centralia, Liam gazed at himself in the mirror.

He knew something was different, because he didn’t cringe when he looked at his messy hair or dull amber eyes. He felt excited when he incorporated Zayn’s fashion tips to his outfit, because it made Liam feel like a better person.

A quick toast and butter and he was on his way, driving through the winter painted skies that almost dropped snow. The trees were now empty, its life stolen away with the cooling grasps of Winter. Seattle was quick to change seasons, going from orange colors last month to cold skies and dead bark. He drove along like normal and arrived at the school a bit early than usual.

He stared at the front of this school and wouldn’t have spotted a difference if there was a prison next to it. The gray walls pillared before the boy and the giant stain glass windows looked dull and distasteful. The flock of students all trying to enter made the school look crowded and bland, causing Liam to let out a deep sigh into his scarf.

“Not even 1st period and you’re already bored?” a melodic voice danced around him. He averted his attention to Zayn and let out a blazing smile. He was wearing a overbearing navy blue cardigan and black pants that constricted his legs, but made him look very attractive.

“Hey babe,” Liam closed the gap and brought Zayn into a tight hug. “I missed you like crazy, you know,”.

“I tried my best to leave, but my family can be a bunch of assholes, yeah?” Zayn gently nuzzled their noises together and the two boys smirked to each other, like the world was standing still and nobody was around. That is, until someone snorted from the distance, pricking the attention of Zayn and Liam.

“Two weeks go by and you two act like you haven’t seen each other in 50 years, my fuckin’ lord” Niall scoffed under his breath and approached them, giving everybody a group hug with a peppy smile.

“Nialler!” Zayn called him this special nickname after the Centralia trip. “How was your scholarship applications?”.

“God awful, but I managed to save about $8,000 from college and that’s only the beginning. I’d say I did smashing work!” he powerfully laughed and puffed his chest. But then he glanced to Liam and Zayn and squinted his eyes solemnly.

“Something about you two seems… different,” he noticed how close Liam and Zayn were, practically snuggling together from the side. “Did I miss anything?”.

Liam could feel a bolt of lightning strike his mind when he had realized he never told Niall they got together. When he eyed Zayn quickly, his expression was about the same. He muttered a fuck under his breath, so quiet enough that Niall couldn’t see it thanks to his scarf.

“Actually…. We… we started dating now, Niall…” Zayn was the first to speak and he closed his eyes quickly. But rather than yelling or even a punch, the two were greeted with another warm ‘Nialler’ hug that made the two grin from ear to ear.

“About time! I was tired of you two coming to me about how “adorable” or “cute” the other was,” Niall let out a sigh of relief, but Zayn had turned to Liam with a shade of blush over his cheeks.

“Y-You told Niall already?! I did too! Wh-“ he flustered and glared back at Niall. “Why didn’t you say anything?!”

“Because this isn’t middle school. If you got feelings, you gotta confess them, right? That’s the only way to do it. You can’t propose to someone by asking a friend to do it for you, you know…” he rambled on. Liam let slip a moment of chuckles before a familiar bell shot through all of their ear drums.

“Well, we better get to English I suppose…” the blonde boy grunted, walking alongside everybody looking just as displeased as the crowd. Zayn tugged on Liam’s hand, pulling him lightly against the waves of the crowd.

“We should get to class too. Can’t screw up that 4.0 of yours, yeah?” he poked at Liam, causing him to just roll his eyes hard and follow along with Zayn.

“Oh shut up, you dork,” Zayn let out a gentle laugh, tugging at Liam’s waist and in sync—the two entered into school where they once stood as strangers, unknown to a future ahead of them.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 11 is here!!! We've reached the approximate midpoint, woohoo. I'm really loving writing this though, so expect some Chapters to come pretty quick.
> 
> Enjoy~

They say January is one of the slowest months in terms of school. After you return from the winter break, there are no real events that take place in school or get you out of it. You’re stuck with new classes that all bore you—especially Liam. His new schedule consisted of accounting courses to benefit his career, but at least he was able to get 6th period off. Of course, Liam knew he would just use the extra hour to study, he was all about the future anyway.

Then there was Zayn, who was having so much fun it could be criminal with his classes. Like Liam, he had finished all of his earlier credits in Bradford. When he transferred, he mainly had to take electives—and Zayn took that up. Not only does he have 5th and 6th period off out of the 6 main periods, he has 2 art classes, an English course and a history class that Zayn loves to death. He was ecstatic and constantly blabbering about how much he loved it (“You should have joined me babe!” he would always tell him).

Liam couldn’t help but feel happy with Zayn and how good it was to see a smile that wasn’t forced onto him. Because from that November night, Zayn had twisted Liam’s world, making everything he needed to do be about Zayn. After all, that’s what someone does for someone they love, at least few people do.

The brunette pulled his arms upward, stretching all of his joints in his arms and glanced down at the jungle of words inside his accounting text book. He let out a huge sigh and continued to flip through the different pages and pictures, coherently jotting down any important information that came upon his eyes. Niall sat next to him, reading out of a comic book with a cup of coffee—fresh from the library’s kitchen where he worked time to time.

“Still taking notes on a chapter you won’t cover in a month, Payne?” the boy spoke to him, not making any eye contact at all.

“Yep. Still reading the same comic you’ve read at least 50 times now?”

“Fuck off, I like Deadpool…” he rolled his eyes and begun to read again. Liam just shrugged and continued to check through his textbook, making sure nothing was out of place. He was actually on roll for finishing the class early, that would make senior year a lot easier.

Niall brushed the comic book across the wooden tables and lifted his feet up. The two were completely alone in the library, due to the staff having a meeting and not having a 6th period. He let out a long sigh that was too many seconds too long and glanced to Liam.

“You’ve been dating Zayn for almost a month, right?” Liam shot upward and locked eyes into Niall, curiosity on his edges now.

“Yeah, why?”

“Well, have you two done on a date yet?” he nonchalantly asked. But Liam’s inner thoughts were twisting and twirling over how he had realized he had never actually taken Zayn out somewhere. Niall quickly caught on, dealing a mild punch to Liam’s forearms.

“You haven’t taken him on a date yet?!” his eyes widened in a second as Liam just traded him off with a shrug.

“We’ve been busy, and I… I-I’m not good at this kind of thing!” Liam sheepishly admitted and sunk into his book, hiding the layer of red that expanded across his cheeks. He stared directly at Liam and only shook his head.

“Well, if you were to take him on a first date, what would you do?”.

“Um, a movie? I guess?” he was clueless about dates, having never actually been on one himself.

“That’s way too cliché! Do something more original, like a walk in the park and dinner or something,” Niall harassed Liam, causing the boy to set his accounting book down for a second.

“Does Zayn even like that stuff? Come on mate, this ain’t some shitty romantic movie…” Liam was at a loss, because he truly did want to take Zayn out somewhere. He had desire to show him how much he loved him, but at the same time he was at a loss. He didn’t know what Zayn liked in dates, because all they did was hang out after school with Niall or in the hallway when the two saw each other.

“Speaking of Zayn, doesn’t he usually hang with you in the library?” Niall threw out the question as he returned to his original laid back position. Liam nodded, glancing back down to his accounting book.

“Normally, yeah. But he had to stay later to help with an art project for the freshman,”

“Shit sucks mate,” he chipped in, taking a quick slurp from his coffee. “Kinda makes me wish I was in a relationship or something, y’know?”. Liam had to take a few seconds to process what Niall just said.

“You want a relationship? What?” Liam’s words fell out of his mouth. “I thought you didn’t want a relationship till college, or even after it,”.

“Seeing how you and Zayn are… just made me realize how cool it would be to be like that with someone, right?” Niall’s eyes had a gloom lighting to them and he stared back at his comic book. Liam noticed this change and felt a weight slam onto his body when he saw the happy, cheerful Niall like this.

“Niall…” Liam tried to finish, but the blonde quickly lunged up and stretched. His face was quickly back to the positive self it normally is. A few books of his that rest on his knees were not scattered across the floor, causing him to gruff and pick them all up.

“Liam, you wanna go get something to eat before Zayn is free?” Niall popped up from under the table and flashed an appealing grin to him. Liam only rolled his eyes and shrugged, knowing the boy was hungry 24/7.

“Sure. Let’s hurry though, okay?” he spoke and Niall quickly collected his things, heading to Liam’s car before he could even ask to slow down for a minute.

***

 The sky was painted a crimson orange and lay dropped with clouds that shrouded the colors. Streaks of red blazed across as well, with a sun that kissed the center of the skies and faded away among the edge of earth. Liam gazed into the sky in awe, ignoring the heaps of homework he had in front of him. He suddenly glanced down at his homework and huffed in melancholic reaction.

At times like this, he wish the barriers of reality could shatter all around him—allowing him to achieve his one dream. The skies begged for him to touch, he had to resist himself from wanting to jump just to see if he could fly away. The island that lay submerged in the clouds and nobody knew of, he wanted to glide on the gales oh so badly. A piece of his dream still existed inside him and he will always want to live among the fresh blue skies, no matter how old he probably gets.

It’s childish, Liam thinks to himself. How stupid is it that a dream you had as a child still sticks with you like that? Watching his mother, he learned all about business and how dreams are just collapsing bridges. He needed to do well in school and make it out to a job to truly live his life. None of this ‘living in the sky’ pseudo-reality would help at all. He let out a wavy grunt as he stretched his arms one last time. His phone quickly vibrated and tugged him into the reality trance again. But seeing that name just makes him all warm.

From: **Zayyyn Babe (: x** / January 14th, 4:56 PM

_Babeeee, do you understand Trig?_

Christ, Trig. Liam encountered war like flashbacks as he had remembrance of the god awful problems from last year around that subject. He took it thinking it’d be a way to skip Pre Calculus and be okay, but little did he know it would be a lot harder than it was.  
To: **Zayyyn Babe (: x** / January 14th, 4:59 PM

_A little bit Zaynie. Want me to help you tomorrow?_

From: **Zayyyn Babe (: x** / January 14 th, 5:00 PM

_Yes!! Thank you Leeyum, can we meet during 6 th in the library?_

He had to think before he sent another text if he was free. Normally Niall came to see if Liam was doing okay due to 6th being a woodshop class for him, but otherwise nobody ever came by. He shrugged, push comes to shove, Niall joins the two.

Although, he would like to be alone with Zayn more.

To: **Zayyyn Babe (: x** / January 14 th, 5:06 PM

_Sounds like a plan! Just stop by whenever and I’ll be there! But I gotta finish my homework, I’ll talk to you tomorrow Zaynie (: love you a lot x_

Just writing that text message, he blushed hard to himself. What an idiot the brown boy was.

From: **Zayyyn Babe (: x** / January 14th, 5:08 PM

_Ok, have fun (if you even can, haha) and I love you too babe (: x_

His face was being clouded with red, feeling himself squirm in his seat as he read that message. Liam could only squeal like a school girl under his breath from how he excited he got when his boyfriend sent him texts like that. Just thinking of Zayn even loving him, gave him thousands of chills that spread like wildfire across his tending skin.

But then Niall’s words from the afternoon repeated through his cranium and bounced like a drum. They have been dating for almost a month and the only times they would hang out together are at school or with Niall. And don’t get Liam wrong, he loves Niall like a brother. But as he even said—there has to be times with just Liam and Zayn.

The brunette pondered in thoughts again about how Zayn felt, perhaps he was thinking the same way too. Normally, the “guy” in the relationship (Liam hated even referring to that, thinking it was useless to assign jobs a gender must do in a relationship. It’s love, he’d always say) would take the “girl” on dates, but what if it was two guys? Do they both take each other out on dates?

“Liam honey, are you there?” the sudden calling from his mother caught his ears as he stood from his desk that stuck away from the rest of his room. He traversed down to the kitchen to see his mum, unloading groceries and moving around with agile. She smiled, giving a quick embrace to her son.

“How was your day?” he poked with curiosity, sitting at the bar they had near the kitchen. He could tell just how her day went when she rolled her eyes and grunted, crashing her purse onto the counter. The impact was loud enough like it could function as a weapon.

“Meetings, angry coworkers and lots of meetings. I could set fire to my documents and frolic in them I’m that stressed,” Karen went back to the fridge and loaded different creamers in. “And you? How was school?”

“Same old, just studying and enjoying the new classes,” Liam accidently slipped boredom in his tone, quickly catching Karen’s ears.

“Well, what about Zayn? Are you two doing okay?”.

There wasn’t a yes or no answer, really. The two were together, but at the same time they acted like really affectionate friends. They barely kiss, mainly because the two are still somewhat in the closet.     

“Well…,” he wondered if his mom could help him. She understood romance, clearly. So maybe she could give better input then Niall could. He treasured Zayn, and needed the best advice to make him know that he truly is the best.

“What does “well…” mean?” his mum was at eye level with Liam. He gulped down any last sign of dignity and focused on his mum.

“How do you ask a boy on a date?”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoooo Chapter 12!! Enjoy!!~
> 
> Hope everyone is having a good day today! If not, just remember that there are 365 days in a year, and people tend to live up to 75-80 years. So that's around 25,550 - 29,200 days, and hopefully some of those will be good days for you~

“So then you punch it into your calculator under SIN, and…” Liam tapped the buttons in agile, flashing a proud smile while he turned the calculator. “There! The answer is 5,”

“So that’s how you do it, that makes more sense!” Zayn spoke, placed next to him and more close than usual. The two were nearly cuddling with each other, each feeling the others breath in the room full of empty books that only stared back. Even the librarians—they were nowhere to be found. Liam thought they had gone to some meeting and left a TA in charge, but nobody was at the counter.

Since it was 6th period, everyone was in class. For once, the two were alone, just like Liam wanted. He felt some tugs on his sweater collar, gazing down at the same brown dazzling eyes, but Zayn wore a shocked face.

“You were zoning out again babe,” his lips curved down and he gazed into Liam’s eyes. All he could see were the brown orbs that filled his pupils. “Is something wrong?” he felt super guilty when Zayn worried about him. But at the same time, it was cute—the way Zayn’s eyes fixated on him and his lips pursed.

“I’m fine Z, it’s just…” he snuggled closer to Zayn and wrapped his bare arms around Zayn’s waist. The boy agreed and moved closer to Liam, nuzzling his head into Liam’s neck (although his hair was quite large and Liam had to be careful not to swing back and ruin it).

“I wish we could be this close all the time at school,” he spoke earnestly. Zayn’s face quickly darkened, his vision shifting elsewhere in the library.

“I do too, but both of us know we can’t…” his tone grew deep as he let out a heavy sigh that drifted into the air. “Louis would give you so much crap. Not to mention Deborah would probably do something too… I could never bring that upon you, Liam. That would make me feel so shitty and I-” Liam drifted his fingers up Zayn’s spine and edged circles with his fingers, cutting off any more verbal response from Zayn. He could feel the boy relax more in his grip as he repeated the same circular motion.

“It’s not all bad, Z. We can still hang out after school with Niall, and call each other, and even-“ but Liam halted, realizing just how limited there time was. So he gripped even more and cuddle-hugged Zayn the most he could. The smell of fresh cologne and chalk oozed off Zayn’s neck when he snuggled in, but it made him feel at home. He closed his eyes and felt like his mind was ascending upward in happiness.

“You smell good, by the way” he huffed out the words while engulfed in Zayn’s varsity jacket. It was warm and befitting for a January afternoon, which Liam’s grey sweater had no match for. Zayn only laughed quietly and ran his fingers across Liam’s back, sending chills throughout his body from the sensation.

“Really? Well, I guess you’re the kind to notice things like that,”

“What does that mean?” he broke from Zayn’s grasp and eyed Zayn who only shot back a smile to him.

“I mean, you’re the only one who would notice such a thing about me. Which is good, yeah?” Liam laughed and nodded in agreement. He felt warm being so close to Zayn as their foreheads leaned into each other. Thank god nobody was here.

“How have you been doing lately, by the way?” Liam regarded his forearm and Zayn quickly caught wind of what he meant. The boy slowed his breath for a moment before nodding in earnest truth.

“The night I told you everything, so about… two months ago?” Liam grinned from ear to ear and laid his hands on Zayn’s knees, shaking them in excitement. “It’s all thanks to you, of course,” Zayn spoke softly and raised a smile.

“I’m so proud of you Zayn. You mean the world to me and I’m glad you are doing this well!” Liam felt complete cherish in Zayn, knowing just how big of an impact the two have had on each other’s lives. He inched in closer and sealed the gap, pressing a quick kiss onto Zayn’s cherry tasting lips.

“I wanted to ask you in celebration then,” Liam proudly proclaimed, causing Zayn to raise his eyebrows. “For our 1 month anniversary of dating and two months of going clean, how about we… go on a date? This Friday?” he closed his eyes because Liam still had some fear Zayn would reject him. But he felt warm hands slide over his shoulder as Liam was quickly embraced by a happy Zayn.

“How does 7 sound? And what did you have in mind?” Liam smiled and quickly pecked Zayn’s lips again--he could do that over and over. He gave a tiny hush noise and revealed a smirk.

“It’s a surprise, babe. You’ll just have to see at 7,” he giggled and shot a wink to Zayn, then proceeding back to helping him out with the Trig. Of course, Liam couldn’t help but steal glances at Zayn. because for the rest of the time that Zayn leaned on Liam, he was somewhat nervous for how the night would turn out.

***

His room was dimly lit and a bit gloomy—or so Liam was thinking. He gazed at a figure so familiar to him in the mirror, recognizing the same features and physique he has seen all his life. He dawned a light brown trench coat with his white shirt to deal with the night breezes and frost. A casual pair of jeans was all he could think to wear for a casual night like this. But he edged his breath and held it to himself while he observed himself in the mirror.

He styled his hair a bit differently, rather than the usual messy bed hair style. It was combed to the right and smoothened out—flatter than paper. He eyed himself one last time in the mirror and slowly hooked his necklace on. It was his sign—Virgo.

One of his obsessions was horoscopes. He loved reading about the history behind them and how they all came together. He liked being a Virgo, they had lots of luck in their life. He smiled gleefully and gave a final stretch. He pressed a few sprays of his cologne and looked deeply into the mirror, whitening out anything but himself.

“You can do it, Payne…” he calmly spoke. He repeated that over and over, even as he walked out of the door. On the drive over, all he could think of was Zayn.

What would Zayn think of his coat? Was the cologne too strong? Thoughts looped around in his head, giving him a mild weakness in his chest about how he felt. As he got out of his Camry, his legs twisted a bit and wobbled. But Liam still walked, all the way to Zayn’s door. Before he lay his knuckle on his door, Liam took one last breath and finally, pounded just lightly enough to catch someone’s attention.

The door cracked open a small split before fully widening. There he stood, wearing a loose fitting denim jacket and black skinny jeans—constricting his legs and defining his lower half. He wore the same leather belt from the first time he slept over and even Zayn’s new stud-like earrings caught all of his attention.

He was amazed that this was his boyfriend.

“That’s a really cool jacket! You should wear that more often,” Zayn and Liam exchanged grins and quickly pecked each other.

“It’s pretty expensive, so I try not to wear it. By the way, you look amazing babe,” Liam winked—he knew Zayn liked it when he did things like that. He quickly let out a ‘thanks’ before a shade of pink spread on Zayn’s cheeks while he shut the door behind him and jammed his keys in. Twisting and turning, the door eventually clicked into place. “Are your sisters or mom here?”

“Nah, they went out for the night. Some new restaurant opened up and they went there,” he nonchalantly shrugged. Liam pulled out his keys and guided Zayn to his Camry as the two got in. Zayn noticed the somewhat large item wrapped in a red cloth and eyed Liam in astonishment.

“Where are we going tonight Leeyum?” he rested his hands on Liam’s loose hand that rested on the shift. He could feel the warmth illuminating from Zayn’s fingers as they locked into the empty space between his own fingers.

“We’ll be there in about 5 minutes. Just be patient, okay?” Zayn nodded and glanced over to the window. The stars were scattered among the skies today—as if they could fall out from a picture frame. They were large enough to be countered individually and each let out a speckle that caught the eyes of Zayn. The brown boy only grinned, watching Zayn stare so in awe at the stars.

The road crept for miles, on the side of Seattle. He was used to these long stretches from driving everywhere, the amount of time you waste on these roads is incredible. The stars outlined the barren trees that crouched to the side, housing seldom life in its field. Only the occasional crow would fly by the roads, and the usual traffic. But tonight, the road was empty and quiet. Liam couldn’t have been happier.

He took a jagged turn and landed on a familiar thumping sensation. Zayn’s grip on Liam’s hands broke as he became more alert of their surroundings. By the time the car had stopped, both the boys had shaken heads—their legs wobbling as they got out of the car. The isolated patch of grass had not changed a bit, still open as ever.

“It’s been a while since we’ve been here,” Liam spoke from the back of his car, grabbing the object wrapped up. He laid the cloth out on the grass and a woven basket displayed itself in the center. The boy got up and eyed Zayn, holding his hand out in arms reach.

“So why not have a picnic and watch the stars?” he paused when Zayn took his hand and hooked his fingers with his own. The two, while entwined, stepped together and laced their arms around each other. For a January night, it wasn’t as cold as he thought. But then again, it was around 5:30 or so,  they would be fine.

“I swear you’re so cheesy sometimes,” Zayn pouted and indulged himself into the small sandwiches cut like triangles. He quickly lit up and continued to bite into them while Liam nibbled on the Wheat Thins he brought along. He had his arm hooked by Zayn’s shoulder while the raven boy leaned into him. The two stayed glued together as if they needed each other for balance. Liam couldn’t have been more content with his life right now.

“All for you babe,” he cooed into Zayn’s ears while he rubbed his side gently. “I want you to know how much I love you, and I always will,” he placed a kiss to Zayn’s forehead—never letting go of his gaze into Zayn’s eyes.

“Thank you very much,” he used a napkin to wipe some of the crumbs off Liam’s lips and leaned in, kissing him completely. “You’ve done so much for me, more than anybody ever has. I love you too, Liam Payne,” he nuzzled in closer to Liam’s neck, breathing in his scent and closing his eyes. The two sat like this for a moment, just the two boys that were a little too close to each other. They munched on the remaining sandwiches and chips while gazing at the stars as if they were screaming to join them in the sky.

“Hey, Liam…” Zayn shattered the silence and leaned off Liam for a moment, grasping his full attention. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure Z, what’s up?”.

“What was your life like back in Wolverhampton?” Zayn spoke, beginning to move into Liam again. “I know it’s kinda a weird question to ask, but you never really told anybody much about your childhood. Was it.. a bad memory? Because if so, then you don’t have to say it, but I-“ Liam lifted a finger to Zayn’s lips and smiled wryly.

“It’s a bit personal, yeah, but I mean… you’ve shared enough with me. So I should return the favor I suppose,” he shrugged a bit, but then shifted his attention to the stars. Liam fell back and crashed onto the spread out cloth, throwing his arms behind his head while he closed his eyes.

“It was pretty shitty, let’s start there,”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoo Chapter 13 is here!
> 
> Thank you so much for 1150+ reads!! This makes me so happy, ahhh! Thank you for the comments too, and thank you guys for reading it and some who kudo'd it!!! I really appreciate it from the bottom of my heart because it makes me so happy to know there are people who read this, and some who like it, that's the best feeling to any writer. I love y'all so much.
> 
> Enjoy~ I hope you all have a wonderful day!

Frosty winds engulfed the two teenagers with only the stars to watch them. Liam laid in his position still, closing his eyes—trying his best to rather not remember Wolverhampton too well. Because Liam did like his hometown—but only the scenery. Liam had so many other problems while over there that he thought maybe coming to Seattle, could have helped. Liam was never open about his past, not even to Niall. He was stubborn and reluctant to ever talk about himself, because it brought too much stress.

“I guess… it wasn’t so bad, the place and everything…” he ruffled his hair with the edge of his elbows, continuing to examine the stars sleeping above him. “I’d love to go back and live there, because the UK is where I belong. But growing up was different,”.

“Really? That’s interesting,” his companion laid like stone beside him, their hands being wrapped around each other and constricted. Zayn kept stealing glances of Liam as he nodded to himself mainly.

“Well, for starters I was born with a lot of medical problems. I had only one functioning kidney and I was in the hospital for the first four years of my life, a lot. I don’t remember it too much but I know I stressed my family out,” he exerted a deep sigh, shutting his eyelids and hitching his breath. “That’s all I ever did really. I made people worry about me and have to watch me cautiously. I never understood it as a kid, but people made so many sacrifices for me, and I never really deserved any of them,”.

“I can relate a bit to what you’re saying, yeah…” Zayn tossed chips into his mouth, eyeing the same stars Liam had locked on. “It sucks feeling so useless like that,”

“ Tell me about it,” he spit the words into the air, feeling a weight crash heavy on his chest from how much emotion he was letting off. But the boy shrugged it off and clutched Zayn’s palms a bit tighter.

“Soon, I got better and was able to attend school normally. I enjoyed school, but I was still physically weak from the hospital trips. My classmates must have caught on quite easily—they refused to include me in any physical sport or even talk to me much. I became known as ‘Pussy Payne’ when I entered my 4th Year…” audible sounds of light sobbing were oozing from Liam. He leaned up, not wanting any tears to free from his eyelids. Zayn also pushed up and regarded Liam fully, refusing to break away for a second.

“Soon, I got better. My body was becoming stronger and I was able to keep up. It made Gym a hell of a lot easier on me as I could finally play football and shit. In fact, I was getting awards left and right and I was starting to meet new people. I was having a great time, but clearly my body doesn’t agree that I should have fun,” Liam fell back a bit and dropped his head. He was ashamed of looking at Zayn because of how idiotic he looked. How dumb it was to open himself up like this, on a first date of all places. But warm fingers scaled across his cheek and pulled his face up.

“You don’t have to do this. I… shouldn’t have asked that question, m’sorry,” his eyes drooped, pushing his arms around Liam’s upper torso and hugging him tightly. Liam enjoyed the warmth of Zayn, but felt bad as his sobs broke to tears and was probably leaving wet marks on his jacket. But he pulled away an inch and nodded.

“It’s okay, I-I want to tell you this. I want you to know about me, because you t-trusted me, right?” his sobs interrupted his speech with voice cracks and stuttering. Zayn understood though, he’s done the same to Liam after all.

“My body had gotten worse. I almost died of prolonged kidney damage and was sentenced to the hospital during Year 5. Everyone in my family was worried. My sisters couldn’t see me for days and my mum sat by my side, praying every day,” he paused to whiff in the crisp air veiling the night. “But eventually, I lived and was confirmed okay. I thought it was over and everything would be okay, because my mom smiled and kept telling me I was a blessing,” his face lit up a small amount, recollecting his happy his mother was when he woke up for the first time in weeks.

“But the money was too much. My dad couldn’t take it, he was going into debt and fought with my mum. It got to the point where they divorced, and everything shattered… and I hate myself to this day for it,” Zayn quickly placed a calm kiss onto his temple and strengthened his hold onto the brown haired boy. He buried himself into Zayn’s shoulders as if he were a pillow. Every moment he breathed in the air and pressed against the boys shoulders made Liam more relaxed.

“So eventually… my mother and I came over here. I started middle school here, somehow surviving that. Then I went through high school and, well, I met you I guess,” he gave an overdue peck to Zayn’s mouth—staring intently into his eyes. “I met someone like you, who’s made my life so much better,”

“Liam…” Zayn cooed into his ear while grasping the boys chin. The two edged their foreheads and pressed them together, keeping themselves like this. “Life works in really strange ways. I’m sorry your parents couldn’t stay together, it really sucks. But, also…  I’m so glad that you make me feel important. Like I’m actually needed,” he laid his hands down on Liam’s lap, sketching circles with his chilled pearly finger nails. “Because things like that are why I love you, Liam Payne,” and those simple few words shot his heart into roundabouts of emotions. His eyes were buried deep into Zayn’s stare—revealing a giant smile to him.

“I love you too, Z” he reached forward and engaged Zayn’s lips with his own. Their lips lingered and pressed forward, he could taste some of his sandwiches and bubblegum he was chewing a while ago. His heart blew into thousands of pieces, the way their lips stayed together.

Liam had planned to go for a peck, but Zayn surprisingly grasped onto Liam, catching his attention. He picked up the sounds of moans under his breath while the two moved in similar motions. He could feel Zayn’s tongue crashing against his lips—begging for entry.

He slowly let his tongue sink into his dry mouth while Liam copied his actions. The two crashed and fell back onto the cloth—each exploring the other’s mouth and wetting lips. Liam could feel one of Zayn’s hands from his back—clutching his jacket fiercely as the other pulled through his hair. It felt like ecstasy was vibrating throughout his body with every trace of Zayn’s tongue gliding through his mouth. Their lips pulled apart and pushed forward in sync, creating such a feeling that Liam slipped out moans and whines.

Liam edged himself further and laced a small nibble to Zayn’s lips, equating  a whimpering squeal that drove Liam crazy. He couldn’t resist his hands any further, allowing them to travel through Zayn’s hair and continuing to leave tiny bites onto Zayn’s lips. The brown haired bloke felt a tight sensation  that kept growing in his pants while he grinded against the dark boy in slow flicks. He moaned softly—panting as if he were a dog. He didn’t know how much longer he could last, his body grew weak and trembled as the pleasure was too much for him to hold himself up.

“Jesus Christ, Liam…” he huffed for air as they pulled apart just for a split second. They shot goofy grins at each other and moved away a bit. “You’re a fucking great kisser, y’know?”

“Would you believe me if that was my first time?”

“Bullshit. Do you just watch porn a lot or something?”

“Well, I watched romantic movies and just.. tried to kiss like them?” he shrugged, fixing his once neatly parted hair. Zayn let out a laugh as he ruffled his hair back into place with his fingers.

“You’re a good kisser too! Well, you were my first one… but that doesn’t mean you’re not good!” he pouted, curving his lips. The boy nodded and flashed a smile to Liam—causing his heart to melt at the way his lips tugged.

At this time, the starry night was bright enough to outline their faces and things around them. It was also at this time Liam had noticed just how fitting these bright lights were that showered over Zayn. Liam remembers this feeling a month ago when he had confessed to Zayn and even before then in September when he first noticed him. He always felt a sensation—like a spotlight was above him the whole time and would flash just at the right times.

He didn’t know how to put this into words. How to describe what this light really was. Perhaps it was god’s words, a way to show Liam just how genuine and perfect Zayn is. Maybe it was symbolism to how he was the correct path. But to Liam, the light represents Liam’s trust. It represents how Liam can tell that someone is worthy enough to have his trust and put faith in.

The light he saw would only shine for Zayn, and Zayn only.

Liam closed his smile and firmly grasped Zayn’s hand, pulling him closer. He leaned inside, sealing any gap between them and spoke: “The night is still young, Z. Let’s go have some fun, yeah?”.

Zayn didn’t even have to answer. He collected the picnic supplies in haste and traversed back to the Camry. They tossed everything in the back and drove from the scene, acting like nobody was ever there in the first place to begin with.

For the rest of the night, the two were drowning in the amount of fun they had. From the DDR to the other arcade games to the simple walks around the outskirts of the cities, Liam and Zayn absorbed the most of it. Nobody was in front of them that could exile their fun. Liam had Zayn all to himself and he enjoyed every moment.

“You’re afraid of spoons? Really?” His words dropped in shock. Liam slightly rubbed his head and nodded, sheepishly agreeing.

“Well, it’s.. just a childhood thing. But what about you?! Don’t you have some fear or something?” Liam shadowed himself in his coat, feeling embarrassment spread through his whole body. Zayn was gripping onto Liam’s hands in the middle of a walk outside when he let go for a second, glancing downward.

“I’m not a big fan of water really…” Liam couldn’t scan Zayn’s eyes as they darted away from him. He pulled his jacket close, shivering a bit from how cold the night had gotten. “I mean, I can shower and drink it… but rather not swim,”

“That’s not so rare. My sisters hate swimming all the time, you could start a club with them against swimming,” Liam chuckled to himself and nuzzled in closer to Zayn, gripping his fingers while easing them. “Maybe I can teach you in the future?”,

“Yeah? I’d be okay with that,”

“When it gets nicer, I promise you Zayn…” his eyes fired up in passion. “I’ll help you get over your fear of swimming!”

The two continued to get to know more and more about each other throughout the night. From favorite animals, favorite colors to even favorite foods (Liam, being content knowing that Zayn is an easy to please guy and likes pasta). It was as if they were long lost brothers, having so much differences but so much in common as well. The two boys wore smiles through the passing night and gleefully exchanged kisses, quick hugs and simple touches of the skin. It really was a great date.

***

“Thank you, Liam…” Zayn placed a quick peck to his lips, displaying a slight smirk. “Those were great sandwiches, and I’m glad I got to know you a lot better,” he whispered into the boy’s ear, sending down some chills that were either from the cold weather, or Zayn’s breath brushing against his ear lobe.

“Goodnight, Zayn,” he pressed one last kiss. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Sounds like a plan,” he creaked the door open, stepping half inside. “Goodnight babe,” and he shut the door, creeping away for the rest of the night.

Liam slowly paced himself to his car and took one last view of the stars that guided the two along their way tonight. His heart was racing in so many ways that he couldn’t begin to count. The thrill of being with Zayn drove him mad.

Throughout the night, Liam wishes the raven boy was beside him, the two curled away in deep slumber and could disconnect from the whole world. That’s what he needed the most.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 14!!! We're approaching the end pretty soon. I'm going to say by Chapter 20 or 21 honestly. But hey, we got lots of time to go~ Probably will focus on one shots afterwards.
> 
> Also, 50 kudos! Thank you guys so much, that means a lot to me. I know it's pretty small compared to some other pieces of work, but I'm just glad people like this. I mainly uploaded these for myself to just read whenever, but then I guess some people liked them and a few bookmarked and subscribed. You guys make my day and I thank you so much!

Words. That’s all Liam could picture, think or even say. Random words that had no meaning. I, He, We, She, Misery. His vision cascaded to the cluster of words slapped onto his document he typed for hours.

“I swear to fuckin’ god” Liam spat gratingly and vociferously. But it didn’t matter, the computer lab was quiet and qualm—only three boys created sound inside. “I can’t think of anything that is “special about me” for these essays”

“Really? You have a 4.0 GPA and you can’t think of nothin’? Dumbass, there is a lot to you that you can put down,” Niall conveyed as he gazed to his multiple guides for his essays. But he rolled his eyes—disconnecting interest quickly. “Meanwhile I’ve been reading god knows what for the past hour and my essay sounds like a child composed it. A masterpiece, I tell ya,”

“You blokes complain too much,” Zayn spoke from the left, grabbing the two’s attention. He was—for the past hour—typing away with no sign of stopping. His smile flashed splendidly as he continued to patter his fingers endlessly.

“What are you even writing about, Z?” Liam laid his head onto Zayn’s shoulder, analyzing Zayn’s writing. A lot of it was about his experience in art and literature. Zayn was an artsy kind of guy who could only express his interests with spray paint cans and half completed poetry with little to no rhyme scheme.

“The point of a college essay is to express yourself, so m’ just talking about me and my art. You can write about your grades, yeah?” he drew his fingers across Liam’s cheek and planted a fast kiss. Liam crawled back to his desk and opened up the document again. “Well, that’s all good input…” he broke off and flipped out his phone, opening an image of essay requirements. “But for some colleges I have to express a lot more into my essays,”

Niall leaned back, spanning his arms behind him and pulling all tension away. He took a sip of his cold coffee, laying the mug down solemnly. “You’re a genius though, what else do you need?”

“Besides the occasional play I helped out in, I never actually did anything club related so I’m at a loss of what to put…” he slumped into his chair, feeling a sense of defeat. Zayn had his art and Niall, despite his grades sometimes, did soccer Freshman and Sophomore year, and then helped out with the International Club. He had a variety of clubs to help him, but Liam focused on grades and that was about it.

“There’s more to a college application than just grades, Mr. Payne,” a sharp voice activated all of Liam’s muscles to tense up. Mrs. Carter—as if she teleported—stood behind Liam, Zayn and Niall. “Do you all not have a 6th period?”

“Zayn and Liam don’t, I just got the period off to work on college stuff,” Niall shrugged, his pass wavering from his left hand. “Liam’s just fretting over stupid sh-dumb stuff, as usual,” he let out a chuckle, but quickly stopped. He could feel Liam’s heinous eyes locked onto him that caused the blonde boy to slip in his chair for a second.

“You know, there is more to you than just your GPA, Mr. Payne. You volunteered for the library enough times that I’m sure you could put that down under your people skills. You’ve also assisted teachers with their occasional missions and have helped out students in tutoring. Try listing those about yourself and how you used your study skills to aid others,” she broke out a smile, placing herself in the seat across from the three boys. “There is more to a college essay than just your accomplishments in school. It’s about who you are to a college and seeing if they like your material as a student…” Mrs. Carter also had coffee, sipping on her purple shined mug. “Have you three decided on a college to apply for?”

“Eastern Washington, probably. They have a good International Business program and I’d like to do that or somethin’, if possible,” Niall gave a “whatever” look and proceeded to go back to typing his essay.

“Uh, probably Portland State University. It’s not too far from home and I can study English there,” he smiled. Liam wore a simper as he recalled Zayn talking about his passion for English. He knew he would be a good English Teacher, Zayn had the mentality for it. In the past few months, he’s watched Zayn grow a bit as a person too. From the preserved person to the more outgoing style, Zayn has gotten better in the five months they’ve known each other.

He feels proud, no reason in particular.

“And Liam? Well—you don’t need to answer that. I’m already aware of what you might do,” she slipped a wink in her sentence, rising from her chair. Liam panicked for a moment, realizing he never spoke much about his college choices to anybody but his English teacher. “Well, if you excuse me boys, I have to get back to a class I don’t want to substitute for. Freshman…” her face drooped in gloom while walking out of the lab door

“You already talked with her?” Zayn was the first to speak the moment she shut the door. Liam felt his worried stare, causing him to shift in his seat a tad.

“Yeah… just some stuff about possible colleges to attend. No big deal really…” he tried to avert his eyes from Zayn—he could feel them stare. Intently into Liam. This just made things even worse, because they were his best friends. He should be more open about his college decisions to them.

“To tell you the truth, I have no idea where I want to go,”

“What?! It’s almost February and you have no idea?” Niall scoffed from his coffee, hosting a coughing fit to how hot it was (to which Liam had to pat his back a few times to assist him in catching his breath). “You c-can’t be serious,” he had trouble saying the words without hacking interrupting him.

“Well… I don’t know…”

“Babe, you don’t have a list or anything?” Zayn’s palms wrapped around Liam’s hands, clutching to support and oozing warmth into him.

“I have a few I’m interested in. But.. how do I say this?” the conflicted Liam drew back to himself and huddled in his chair.

“Come on, just fucking say it,” Niall was growing impatient as he scanned through his emails for college. “We ain’t got all day. Specially you, Payne,”

“I just wish time could stop and I could be with you guys for a lot longer!” Liam almost shouted. All of his anger and oppression of words was released into the air and everybody outside probably heard it too. He could still feel Zayn’s hands, but they were frozen and felt stiff like a statue.

“God it’s so fucking stupid. But I never got around to picking a college because I wanted to hang out with you guys a lot more. After all…” he reached to his might, pulling the two boys in and huddling with them. “Thanks to you two, I’ve had one of the best school years of my life so far. So the fact I have to go to college… the fact I have to grow up… the fact I have to say goodbye to my best friend and boyfriend..” he closed the gaps between them, ruffling both of their heads with his fingers.

“It’s too embarrassin’ to even talk about,” Liam drew out a sigh, he felt stupid opening up about this. People were meant to grow up—you could never be a kid forever. He knew that well, but the thoughts never stopped racing.

He’s never had this much fun though. In fact, it’s as if it is criminal to indulge in this much pleasure. He loves Zayn and Niall and enjoys his teachers. Liam hasn’t been able to admit this in—he can’t even remember it’s been that long.

“Zayn, how do you endure his sappiness?” Zayn chuckled under his breath while nuzzling into Liam’s neck.

“He’s mine, that’s how I endure it!” Liam could feel a shade of blush override his face. He placed a simple kiss onto Zayn’s forehead as the two met eyes. They could be like this forever, magnets inseparable.

“Now you two better not go lovey-dovey mode while I’m in the room,” Niall injected. The two distanced themselves, but couldn’t resist the exchange of winks and laughter. The rule was that if the three hung out, Zayn and Liam had to do their best to keep the “couple” thing to a minimum. Liam thought it was a pain in the arse 90% of the time, but he respected Niall and didn’t want him to be left out or become a third wheel. So they all agreed that this was the best plan.

“I’m sure you’ll find your girl one day Nialler,” Zayn swayed to him, shooting a wink to the blonde. But Niall was too engrossed into his computer screen, blocking out most of the sound he heard.

“Yeah? I’d like a girl rather than a hookup,”

“The better question is, could you pay for her meal more than once?” the three burst out laughing before returning back to their college essays. Just like that, Liam Payne was back to his grumpy old self when he reengaged himself with his paragraphs. They always say short and sweet, but Liam knows that’s translation for “Short and I won’t read it unless you praise me enough”. He simply stretched in his seat, glancing back at the clock.

“1:03, huh…” he knew it’d be a long hour.

***

Eventually, he managed to free himself from his mental prison and trap himself in a much more befitting prison: his room. On the better side, he had a complete college essay that made Mrs. Carter applaud as she read it. He couldn’t help but feel the spotlight turn a bit too much onto him.

He laid there with his Wii U, simply playing Mario Kart 8 trying to take a break from studying. Yes, a surprise: Liam does more than study and kiss Zayn. He plays video games, call the press.

He recalled the conversation that played during 6th, how he felt about growing up and leaving the boys. But really, he wasn’t exactly sure why he spoke that. He looked childish and stupid and probably made Zayn think he was clingy.

And how can he not have a college he wants to go to? Sure, some colleges from California sent him mail. But he doesn’t want to go there. In fact, nothing sounds good. Most of the colleges in the US bored him, and he didn’t have a big shot with Harvard because of his lack of school activities (perhaps his 2250 SAT and 4.0 GPA might help). He still was at a loss of what to do through his life, making him even weaker than he should be compared to other seniors.

“Liam honey! Come down for a minute!” his mum’s voice rang. In natural reaction, he responded and hopped downstairs. He caught his mum staring at some papers that were scattered among the bar. He quickly identified those papers as college letters from around Washington that have sent him things for about three years now.

“What’re you doing going through my college stuff?” he asked and sat down near her, analyzing her actions.

“I was just wondering how you were doing about college choices,” she’s asked this question many times and Liam gives the same answer.

“I don’t really know…” he feels bad for saying this, because her face drops in disappointment and causes Liam to feel a sting at his heart. She sighs while fixating her hair from the side. “I mean, I don’t really know what is good for us, money wise and all…”

“Don’t you worry about money, Liam,” she admitted a refreshing smile. “I can cover that part easily. But what you need to figure out is a college to go to, or try to apply. The deadlines are soon, and-“ she stopped after realizing the indent on Liam’s face from how mellow he looked. She shrugged and passed him a fresh cup of coffee.

“Try and tell me if you have any ideas by next week, okay?” she calmly collected herself and escorted out to the next room over. But Liam just glanced at each paper—feeling nothing but mixed sorrow and uncomfortable stings to his chest.

“What if I never have an idea?” his words filled the kitchen atmosphere and pressed heavy against himself as he thought about that for the rest of the night.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 15!!
> 
> Sorry for the week delay or so. My school registration begun and I had to register my classes :| but I'm back and hopefully ready to pump out the last of the series before school starts! Enjoy~ this is gonna be fun.

February had kicked in and the Winter was starting to wrap up. This meant Valentine’s Day, which means hearts and candy and love for all.

Except the outside looked like a wasteland with how naked the trees were and how cold the winds were that passed by. The opposite of Valentine’s Day, Liam thought.  Wouldn’t spring be a better time because of how warm it would be and how it would match the feeling of love and how it makes you all warm inside?

He grunted, eyeing out the window as the clouds reached through the sky, covering every inch, reflecting all of his thoughts of how dull the day was. But perhaps him staying so late at school an hour later, just to finish this test was a part of the reason. He couldn’t help it though, he got sick for a few days and had to rest up. And after Zayn texted him every other hour to check up on him, it was clear he would have gave the poor boy a heart attack if he rested another day. Besides, he felt a lot better anyway.

Liam continued on with the test about Frankenstein, easily answering all of the questions they had covered throughout class. He felt pride while he breezed through the rest of the questions as the book arose in his mind. Like photographic memory, he recalled every scene and tragedy that came through the book.

His phone vibrated and distracted his process. He casually reached for his phone, as Mrs. Carter was away from the classroom.  Zayn’s name popped up, it was a text about where they would meet after his test.

“The usual,” was all he could text back, fearing the possibility a camera was installed-or Mrs. Carter was watching. After all, she was that kind of teacher.

***

20 minutes drifted by before Liam could finally throw his pencil down in victory, completing the test. He simply abandoned it on Mrs. Carter’s desk, walking down the looping stairs. He approached the exit and felt a whimsical blast of fresh air ooze on his face—after being inside for so long, it felt like heaven. The skies were still grey, but a much lighter shade now. But it was still freezing outside, as Liam tugged on his cashmere scarf hidden in his brown coat.

“Where the hell is he…?” Liam glanced at his watch. The time flashed back: 3:30. He felt bad, Zayn volunteered to stay behind just for them to go get a cup of coffee. Liam hated making people wait for him, they could be doing better things but they choose something with him instead.

His body quickly melts into a familiar hold from behind. Zayn places a quick peck on Liam’s neck that sends chills a mile wide. But Zayn feels warm, he didn’t want to move or even say anything because of how good he felt.

“You’re so warm, Z” Liam nudged into him closer, but halted in his movements realizing where the two were. They were still at school and stood out like a worm to birds. They slowly backed off, Liam reading the sorrow in Zayn’s eyes when he moved away.

“S-Sorry… It’s just, I…”

“No, it’s fine Liam. I understand,” Zayn adjusted his own red scarf to fit above the leather jacket placed over him. The fit was snug, but very appealing. “It’d be bad for the both of us if our relationship got out. With Louis and everybody else…” Zayn was shivering, but it wasn’t from the cold. He could see how much discomfort and pain the raven boy felt while spitting the name Louis out.

“Let’s not think about it right now, okay babe?” Liam could lean in and kiss the worry out of Zayn. But he knows the soccer team is playing on a field in eyes view. He knows Louis is probably out there, possibly observing them.

The two walked side by side to his car. The February winds were rather submissive today—he could feel his hair getting tugged around. Zayn’s hair flopped in the wind also, but the amount of hairspray made it stand like a wall.

“Are you okay with Starbucks, Zayn?” Liam peeked the question, to which the boy only laughed in response.

“When is Starbucks not okay?” he winked as the two sped off in his Camry. Lucky for them, Starbucks was only a five minute drive away. Hell, they could have even walked there. But it was a bit cold for that, Liam prefers heat.

“How you feeling, Leeyum?” Zayn drew out his e’s as he spoke, shooting a concerned look to him as he drove. “You were gone for so long as well… I hope your schoolwork is okay,”

“It’s just as Niall said: “Chose a good time to be bedridden,” because my classes were really lax about homework. I’m about done now,” he grinned, tracing his fingers over Zayn’s left palm. “And I’m doing a lot better now, so thank you for asking. Thank you for checking up on me as well,”

Isn’t it natural for me to worry about you?” his laugh flowed to Liam’s ears, admitting nothing but good vibes from his soul. The two sat like this for the whole drive: their fingers wrapped around each other like a clustered suburban neighborhood.

Liam still couldn’t wrap his head around how lucky he was. Zayn was the perfect guy and the only one he has ever connected this much with, yet… he feels too lucky sometimes. Because Zayn made him feel like life was gushing into him. He felt speechless half the time when he spent quality time like this.

Of course, he knows it cannot last forever. Deep down, it hurts. Liam knows how college will drive not only him and Zayn, but Niall, apart. It’s shit, Liam thinks. Boy meets World didn’t teach him anything about this. He trips on his thoughts about Zayn too much, because why couldn’t he just accept the fact he has a damn perfect boyfriend? Why does he always second guess himself?

As they entered Starbucks and were greeted by the similar sounds and pitches of espresso machines, chatty baristas and businessmen on their phones, Liam felt himself relax all around. He always was attracted to the atmosphere of Starbucks—or any coffee place in general.

“Why don’t you go sit down and I’ll order for us?” he pressed a smile and let go of Liam’s hand. Liam turned to an open table before hollering: “You know my order, right..?”

“Grande Caramel Latte! The most uncoffee drink ever!” Liam laughed, giving him a quick thumbs back before retreating to the table.

It wasn’t even 3:00 yet and Starbucks was already busy. He sat alone at the cold oak table—accompanied with a view of the busy outskirts of Seattle through the polished window. He could see the many different adults packed onto the streets in a hurry. How interesting, that would probably be him in the next 10-15 years.

Zayn casually stood in line and moved through the crowd. But eventually, he ordered at the desk with a smile pasted on his face. He smiled, tracing his finger along the defined edges of the table. Zayn gave a wink back to him, standing by the bar where they served the coffees.

However, Liam caught sight of a woman observing him as well. She was at least in her late 20’s to early 30’s, equipped with a proper business suit and high planked heels that shot from the soles. She placed herself at the end of the café and watched Zayn, until she got up.

Liam couldn’t make out much of the words, but her and Zayn were casually talking as the coffee was being made (actually, it was she talking and Zayn solid like a statue). She eventually handed him what seemed to be an index card and scribbled something onto a note, giving it to Zayn. With a few seconds, the woman had vanished from the place like she was never there to begin with.

Zayn quickly grabbed the coffees as soon as they were ready, trotting over to Liam and handing him his coffee. The way it smelt left him wanting to devour every ounce of it.

“Who was she?” Liam notably asked. But Zayn spit back some of his drink as he sipped, a blush crept across his cheeks simultaneously.

“Well.. it’s embarrassing, but check it out” Zayn slid the card she gave him across the table. And when Liam observed it as well, he was shocked.

“A modeling agency?!” he scoffed in surprise. It was a legit one too, from an ABC Modeling branch. Liam was statstruk at this, to be scouted at such a weird place.

“Yeah. She seemed pretty nice, told me about all the great things modeling is about. They said they needed a fresh face for the summer and fall. I’m… amazed they thought I was “worth a shot”… because I’ve never been told I had model potential” he was in awe as he glanced to the card. But then he stared out the window a bit, casting some doubt.

“I don’t know… I just turned 18. Doing this would be pretty rash,” he shrugged, slipping the card in his pocket. They both sat in the warm environment sipping on their coffees and smiling towards each other, discussing school to Niall to just about anything. One could say it was like a coffee date, as the boys were there until past 5:00 before realizing just what time it was.

Liam wishes it was 3:00 again, over and over.

***

School didn’t start for another 30 minutes, but Liam was still there. He had to be early for library assistance and there wasn’t much he could do about it. He did however, wish he could stay in his bed for the rest of the day. Being up before 7 should be a crime.

He moved away from his car and pressed the lock button. Chilly winds brushed by his side while he continued to the school. It was so early, that the parking lot was rather empty. Most people wouldn’t be here for another 10 minutes. Liam walked along to the side entrance from the student parking lot. He wrapped his fingers around the door, but a voice called to him.

“Yo Payne!” Liam knew the voice too well, it brought back disgust and hate. He let out a deep sigh and glanced back to Louis’s image. Not only Louis, however. Deborah was clinging to his arm, wearing a too happy of a smile.

“Hi Liam!” Deborah faked a cheer, making Liam hiss under his breath. He already wanted to throw up.

“What do you want Tomlinson?”

“Aren’t you pretty cold this morning?”

“Do I have a reason to force a smile through my arse?” he scoffed and turned back to the door. He didn’t have time to deal with this child again.

“Already leaving? To go make out with your boyfriend? As usual, fag,” Louis spit, catching all of Liam’s attention. Because he rarely acted affectionately with Zayn during school. So how could he say things like boyfriend and making out?

Pictures slid under his feet when Liam picked them up. He wished he hadn’t, though. Oh how he wished he didn’t.

“Some of my mates caught some pictures of you two fags out one night. You were snoggin’ it up apparently,” he ruffled his loose hair through his soccer uniform. He just got out of morning practice, no wonder he was able to catch him out of class.

Liam felt all of his senses stop, knowing that the secret was out. Not only did he put himself into danger, Zayn was too. Deborah only chuckled and whispered into Louis’s ear as they latch their tongues onto each other, sloppily making out.

“Who.. who took these?” he tried to speak out loudly, but his voice wasn’t agreeing with him.

“Oh you might remember him!” Louis shouted, as he heard a series of footsteps from the side of the building. Another figure, about Louis’s build but a little taller than Louis, walked out into the atmosphere. In one second, Liam could figure out who it was.

“Hey-o Payne-o” his British accent was as strong as Liam’s while the boy tugged at his curled hair flopped onto the top of his head. His green tipped eyes reflected the morning skies well, indicating no real sign of change had occurred much. But Liam froze when his memory relapsed all at once.

Without a doubt, that was Harry Styles. The boy he used to like.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School starts in two weeks, and I really don't want to go back there!
> 
> But here is Chapter 16. I'm going to pump iron and TRY, really bold try there, to finish the series by the end of August. We're getting pretty close, I'd say 7-8 chapters to go.

The first blow came at a surprise.

He collapsed onto the cold concrete in agony—as if his stomach externalized its organs Then, chuckling that crashed like waves against his ears. As fast as he could, Liam arched himself up to analyze the situation around him.

“Still goin’ after boys? I mean, ya had an obvious crush on me you know…” Harry mocked the brown haired boy, his laughter rang like a chainsaw.

“What the fuck does this have to do with you anyway?!” he roared towards Harry. “We don’t talk for 4 years and suddenly you act as if you never left? Fuck off!”

“I transferred back this semester mate,” But Liam had just about enough. He quickly lunged a fist right into Harry’s eye and blasted him with a punch. The curly boy stepped back and winced in pain.           

“You fuckin’ asshole!” he hollered. Louis quickly reacted by charging after Liam as well and striking another punch—in the neck. His legs smashed against Liam’s toes, forcing him to ease onto the ground.

He felt paralyzed, his body could barely move. Harry was covering his eyes while Louis checked the damage (he mouthed a ‘shit’ realizing how swollen his eye was). The three looked down at Liam in disgust before Louis blew into a sharp whistle.

A few members of the soccer team were surrounding Liam as he crouched onto the ground. That’s right, Louis is the soccer captain. Of course it would make sense he would have people to help him fight.

First was a few light kicks to Liam’s sides. Then it evolved into more pain, and he yelped at every contact made. But he couldn’t fight back, his toes still ached and he had problems breathing.

“You look so pathetic right now, oh my god…” Deborah spoke coldly, clinging onto Louis as they observed. Then their tongues engaged in another battle, sounding like a slurpee machine that was broken.

The boys vision was turning black. He could barely keep conscious, but he felt everything stop at once. All he remembers is the sound of a familiar woman yelling and the pattering of footsteps, with Harry yelling to scatter. Liam collapsed onto the ground, and caught one last look.

All he could make out was Mrs. Carter screaming for someone, before everything went silent and grim. Soon, Liam’s vision and senses had completely faded away into darkness.

***

White. His eyes that were cracked could only pick up the large traces of pearly white tiles inserted on the ceiling. Each one clashed together like ocean waves—as if they were just one big piece of white. But rather, they were multiple tiles.

Then, Liam feels mild discomfort. Mild, being a very weak choice of words. His sides are in extreme pain while his face feels numb. He moves his arms up, feeling the cold ice packs laid against his head where they kicked at. Liam tried his best to position himself up, but his arms were far too weak to move much.

He realized by now he was in the nurse’s office—and that the time was 11:34, 4th period had already begun. He had been out cold for over 4 hours, catching all of the boys attention. His eyes shot open quickly as his memories played back without error. How Louis and his team ganged up on him, how Harry came back. How Deborah’s sharp laughter danced in his head.

He felt disgusted in himself. All he had to do was stand his ground and fight, but he collapsed instead and succumbed to the pain. He pitched a groan as he laid on the side of the bed, laying solemnly. But the door to the nurse’s office creaked open and a woman of her 50’s—somewhat wrinkly skin and bleached blonde hair—passed through.

“Good to see you’re awake dear,” she croaked, approaching Liam. Gently, the woman took each ice pack that lay on him and took them over to her fridge. Liam had no idea what she was doing, but he heard the sound of water blasting from the rigid faucet.

“What exactly.. happened ma’am?”

“Well, we rounded up everyone involved and suspended them for three weeks,” she called from her area. “And you can call me Ms. Dahlia, if you would like,”

Liam felt some relief knowing they were suspended for some time. Of course, they would be back mid March, and god knows what will happen to everyone. When he tried again to position himself up, Ms. Dahlia waved her fingers, setting down a still glass of water.

“Not so fast, Mr. Payne,” sternly, she looked straight into Liam’s eyes. He couldn’t lie—she was very intimidating this way.

“You need to lay in bed for the rest of the day. You’ve already been excused from your classes, and truthfully speaking…” she fumbled upon her words. “We couldn’t get in contact with your mother, so we just kept you here,”

“Well she has a business meeting for a couple days in Oregon. Maybe that’s why,” he rolled a deep sigh and plumped back into the bed. It was stiff and destructive to his back, he felt aches creep all over himself while in the bed. Ms. Dahlia explored the office until finally obtaining her oak clipboard. “Okay Liam, I’m going to the office to get in contact with your mom. Stay here and rest, okay?”

Liam signaled a thumbs up and heard the sound of the door slamming shut. However, he heard a bump—and then familiar voices outside the door. Liam’s ears picked up the sound of a conversation before the door slammed open this time. Niall and Zayn jousted themselves to his side with painted looks of concern.

“Jesus Christ Payne,” Niall was the first to talk. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just a few aches here and there. If I sleep later I should be fine,” he stretched, wincing a bit at the marks from his sides being extended.

“Liam… fuck, I-I’m so sorry this happened to you,” Zayn was scrambling to make a sentence, tears were choking him. His eyes were somewhat droopy and he lay a concerning touch to Liam’s face, making him flash a grin.

“Babe, I’m okay. Well… mentally okay. Ask me in three days and I’ll probably say physically,” the three laughed, until Liam stopped abruptly from the sharp twists in his sides. He cursed under his breath, his own sense of humor was too powerful.

“Well, we just wanted to check on ya mate,” Niall got up, picking up his bags. “I think I’m gonna head back to 4th. What about you, Z?”

“Go on without me, I’ll see you in the library…” Zayn called out. Niall agreed, quietly leaving the office subtly, escaping into the hallway.

Zayn placed his fingers into the gap between Liam’s and gazed into the boys eyes. They sat like this for a moment, only the sounds of a few cars rolling by filled the room. But Zayn was still stricken of words.

“Um… is everything alright?” Liam awkwardly pitched. He got up slowly, ignoring the sharp stabs of pain.

“Liam, I need you to be honest,” he demanded. “Louis attacked you with his team, right?”

“Yeah.. Louis, Harry and Deborah were there,”

“I’m just taking a shot, but…” he shivered, still grasping Liam’s hands firmly. “Did they attack you because of us?”

Liam couldn’t bring up any words. He tried, but he was simply caught. And shit did he want to say something, because Zayn backed away quickly. Their touch was dropped when Zayn stood by the door. Liam heard his quiet sobs that stung his heart.

“Liam.. I’m so sorry you had to go through this. I-I know you’re busy and just.. I-“ Zayn gripped onto the door, ready to pull. But Liam shot up from the bed, feeling tugs of pain rip apart his body. He bit his lip and approached Zayn, somewhat falling on him while he wrapped his arms around Zayn’s shaky body. He pulled him close, feeling his heartbeat race.

“Shh, Zayn…” he cooed in his ear, still holding him from behind. “Everyone involved is suspended, there isn’t going to be a problem,”

“Liam, don’t you get it?” instead Zayn broke and turned to him. He brushed his tears with the sleeves of his jacket. “We’ve been trying to hide it, but if they know… then the school probably knows as well! You’ll be made fun of for being with me and… and… I don’t want you to get hurt anymore,” Liam stepped back a bit, not being able to connect this before. He was even more loss, feeling fear creep over his body and bite his heart. The 4th period bell rang loudly, breaking him and Zayn from each other.

“Listen, I gotta go to class…” Zayn gripped onto the door again and pushed it open. “See you later,” and the door pushed close. Liam was conflicted, wrapping himself up in covers again and laying down. He was out of breath, trying to ignore the excruciating pain. But he was also mentally collapsing, realizing what Zayn had said.

The thing he didn’t want to happen, happened. Everyone probably knows that Liam and Zayn are gay. And if Louis wasn’t afraid to attack, who says somebody else isn’t afraid as well?

He gripped onto the covers and slammed shut his eyelids. Trying to drown away the fear, he pulled onto the covers and slowly drifted off into a quite depressing slumber.

***

“Dear? Are you okay?” Liam was waking up to the voice of his mother, her white fleece jacket blending in. He felt annoyance, so many people have come to visit already and it’s been nothing but bad news.

“Yeah?” He got up sleepily, feeling less pain. In fact, little pain at all. He glanced to the clock as it read 1:40, meaning school was over pretty soon. His mom shot him a questionable look.

“I said, are you okay?”

“I slept all day, I’m pretty happy,” he flashed a grin while giving a yawn and stretch combo to his mother.

“You got attacked by multiple people and you’re happy because you slept all day…” his mother rolled her eyes.

“So how come you came here from your meeting?” Liam pestered, knowing she rarely leaves meetings unless it’s serious.

“Well a part of me came here to check up on my son, who I got a call about because he was sleeping in the nurse’s office at school all day for being injured. I mean, hey, I’m your mother. Just the motherly things,” Liam collapsed into the pillow, rolling his eyes knowing he probably shouldn’t have actually asked that. She patted him as he grabbed the sound of papers being flicked. “I also came to deliver you this, I got it in the mail this morning,”

Liam gazed on a document-like envelope that was sealed tightly. His mother gave an approving nod before he quickly tore it apart. Reading the words, he was confused as it was addressed to him about his academic success.

And then, he saw a signature at the bottom of the letter. University of Wolverhampton.

“It’s a special letter they send out to few students. They want you to come visit them, specifically under an honors program Liam,” she hugged him, squirming in excitement. “Oh my god I’m so proud of you!”

Liam was at a loss of words again. His heart was racing in excitement as he continued to read. Attached was an application to apply and online directions to sending it out. He couldn’t believe it, the fact that a college in the UK had found him.

“How did they… I don’t even-“ Liam’s face lit up like a diamond, his eyes were dazzled by the content of the document and he realized something. He was able to go home. He was able to return back to Wolverhampton. He could finally say goodbye and return to his other family, his sisters, Nicole and Ruth. He’s so excited, because he can finally return home. Liam flipped his phone out, ready to call Niall and Zayn, until he stopped in his tracks. Niall and Zayn.

If he returned home, he’d have to say goodbye to his best friend and boyfriend.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy~ Chapter 18 to come by Friday and Chapter 19 by Sunday/Monday area. I'll plan to finish this by September 1st and then I can start on some oneshots for 5sos and 1D!
> 
> If you have any suggestions for pairings or AUs, let me know in the comments~ the like, 20 people who do bother to read this (and I thank you so much~)

It was set, Liam was going to Wolverhampton. He could have been the happiest lad in all of the world.

Of course, it wasn’t until July. It would be impossible for him to make free time during an already clustered senior year. So he was left with five months, and god did he want them to go quickly. The thoughts of being back in the UK were filling him with waves of excitement and his heart raced miles around.

But there was a tiny part of him that loved Zayn and Niall so much he could stay. He knew it was stupid to stay in the same place for your friends, you meet new friends in college right? But Liam had to admit: he loved those two and couldn’t dare to leave him. Especially Zayn.

He gazed at his acceptance letter. It was an almost immediate yes. Just a few weeks after sending it in, they wrote back and granted him not only acceptance, but financial aid allowing him to definitely attend the college. Things were flowing his way and putting a smile on his face that never wiped off.

Well, there is one issue. He glanced to his phone and regarded Zayn’s contact. It’s been rough ever since that day, the two only speak at school and rarely he gets to kiss him. He could feel the cold flashes of death the school eyed at him. He wouldn’t lie, it made things rough on him. But him and Zayn were managing somewhat.

His screen flashes and he regards the lights. Swiping his screen, he clicks on his keyboard and reads:

 

From:  **Niallerr** **/ March 2nd, 8:56 PM**

 

_hey, you doin’ okay mate?_

That was odd. Liam rarely got texts—let alone anything—from Niall where he checked up on him. He typed back a quick reply.

 

To: **Niallerr** / **March 2 nd, 8:57 PM**

 

_I’m just studying.. otherwise I’m fine. Why the concern?_

From: **Niallerr** / **March 2 nd, 8:58 PM**

 

_can u come to the front door then?_

He gasped a bit in disbelief, but chugged downstairs and peeped through the side window. Sure enough, the blonde bloke was standing there in a simple denim jacket and black pants. Liam opened the door slowly, taking one last look at Niall’s face.

“Come on in mate,” he gestured him inside. Niall crept into the house and gave a warm hug to Liam. But the boy was confused, because Niall is never this emotional to people. Rather, not even to his family.

“Are you okay? You seem different…” he pushed from Niall a bit and then realized that there was something different about the smiling lad. He looked as if fear possessed him, and his usual smile was wiped clean from his lips.

“You haven’t seen it, have you…?” Niall bit his lip, grasping for his right arm and rubbing it up and down. It was a nervous tick that Liam knew a little too well.

“No, what is it?”

“Well, it’s… I don’t know how to expl-“

“Niall. What. Is. It?” he was getting impatient. He let out a deep sigh and reached into his pocket, pulling out his iPhone. Quickly, he opened up Twitter and showed him his screen that showcased his newsfeed. It was full of the usual people from school, all tweeting about something going on here and there.

And then he caught sight of it.

It was Jack, one of the soccer boys. And not just Jack, multiple people. Ronny, Davis, Chuck, people were bashing Liam and Zayn. His fingers quaked, taking hold of Niall’s phone and scrolling through.

“At least you ain’t a fag like Liam and Zayn,”

“Jesus those two are so fucking stupid,”

“I thought Zayn was really cute too. But he’s just some gay dumbass, what a shame…”

“What does Zayn even see in an ugly guy like Liam anyway?”

For the first time in months, Liam felt his heart shatter. Just 10 minutes ago, he was doing okay and feeling good about himself. But the cold stares, the lack of people talking to him: it all makes sense. Everyone was making fun of Zayn and Liam behind their backs. Liam hates social media, and he knows Zayn doesn’t have one either.

Now hold on. Since when did he suddenly care about what others think? As far as Liam remembers, he always gave no shit to what people from school thought about him. So why was it now, of all times, he suddenly felt his heart being ripped into millions by a few words?

“C’mere…” Niall commanded, wrapping Liam’s upper torso. He felt tears droop down into Niall’s shoulder and he sobbed. Luckily his mom wasn’t home, because Liam would rather not be found in a mess like this.

“I don’t get it… why am I so upset?” he laughed through his croaky voice. “I mean, when did I ever care about what others thought of me?”

“You know, Zayn has changed you in many ways Liam,” he pulled away a bit from Liam, keeping his arms hung over the boys shoulders. “I mean, normally you wouldn’t care because you didn’t really like anyone except me. But think about it mate,” he flashed a white pearly smile.

Liam knew Niall was correct. Deep down, he’s always been sensitive. Hanging out with Zayn and being with him brought out that side more. It wasn’t a bad thing really, because he was able to open up fully to Zayn about himself. So deep down, he is hurt from what his own classmates say about him.

And not just about him. About Zayn too.

“So, that’s why I came to check on you… and well, since I’m here…” he lost eye contact with Liam and rubbed circles in the ground with his black leather shoes. “Could I spend the night?”

“Niall… it’s a school night,”

“My parents are drinking with friends again,”

“Well, I guess it’s fine…” Niall gave him a final hug before they went upstairs. The rest of the night consisted of studying, laughter and Niall snoring louder than a world cup audience.

***

 The halls were ridden of chatter, and even people. He stood alone, analyzing the empty flooring and desolate spaces occupying the school. Liam stood surprised, continuing to move through with ease. He wasn’t early for school, nor was he late. So where did everyone go?

However, there was one person who was there. He crept into the English class and regarded Mrs. Carter, writing on the board. She took a second to look over to Liam and flashed her parading smile. “Good morning, Mr. Payne,” she called to him. He nodded in response.

“Have you seen where everyone is, Mrs. Carter?”

“I know a few of them left in a hurry. Wasn’t quite sure why though, but it’s none of my personal business. They did mention your name though, I think…” she positioned herself in front of her computer and typed away. Liam sensed a twist in his stomach, he felt bad about this.

Quickly, he grabbed his belongings and traversed to the door. However, a creaky chair halted him in his tracks. Mrs. Carter rose in suspicion, looking at Liam.

“Liam… I wanted to ask you recently,” she drew a look around Liam as he stood awkwardly. “Have you… been okay?”

“What do you mean, Mrs. Carter?”

“You were attacked and recently, you’ve been quiet in our class discussions. It’s a teachers responsibility to see their students are doing okay, you know,” she equipped a scolded tone. Liam edged his feet along the carpeted flooring, dragging against the sensation.

“I’m doing okay, Mrs. Carter. But thank you anyway,” he waved her off and turned away from her suspicious glare.

He walked back outside to the other direction. Sure enough, students were going down this way as if they were gathering somewhere. Liam trailed along, being able to audibly recognize people talking about him.

And when he approached a giant crowd, Liam was amazed. They were all like fish—floundering over something in front of them. But as soon as he sneaked into the crowd, everyone looked at him and snickered. They laughed too, moving away from him. He didn’t really understand what the hell was going on, until he caught eye of what was happening.

It was a picture of him and Zayn—similar to the one Louis had on that same night. But the word ‘fag’ was pasted over multiple times with other similar insults. He felt his stomach in a whirlpool and his body beginning to shake. Laughter was bouncing throughout the halls.

Quickly, he snatched the photo and shoved it into his pocket. It wasn’t hard to find out who did it when Jack himself emerged from the crowd with the same marker that tarnished the paper. He roared in chuckling, flashing a grin to Payne.

“What’s the matter, fag? Ya got a problem?”

Before Liam could even respond, he caught sight of similar black hair in the back. Zayn stood in horror, being undetected from the crowd. Zayn’s face sunk as he sneaked away from everyone. Liam quickly charged for Zayn before feeling a hand wrap around his forearms forcefully.

“You’re not going anywhere, dumbass!” Jack reached for a punch before Liam slammed him into the wall, knocking both off balance. He quickly lunged his fist at both of Jack’s eyes and his nose, hearing a crack in the process. The bloke collapsed onto the ground, blood running from his nose and two obvious black eyes.

The crowd went dead silent. People backed away slowly, spitting soft whispers to Liam and how rough he was. The boy simply grunted and glared at everyone in waves of anger.

“So what if I like boys? Is that a fuckin’ problem?!” he yelled. No reaction, not even laughter. “Is it so bad that I am dating one? Or are you dumbasses just that fucking dense?!”

Liam looked back down at Jack’s body—he was knocked out now at this point. His teammates were frozen in horror standing far away as possible. “Move it, ya twats!” Liam called one last time, before the crowd dispersed and faded away into the school. Within a second of calling, he sprinted where Zayn had went: outside the front of the school.

It didn’t take long to catch up with Zayn (part of it because Liam was sprinting rapidly and ignoring any fatigue in him). But when he caught up to Zayn, he quickly reached for the boys shoulder with his shaking hand. “Babe, a-are you alright?” he huffed out, retrieving his breath.

Zayn looked back. It’s obvious to tell he was crying—his eyes flushed with bloodshot. He took a step back, brushing the touch of Liam away. The boy was smoldered in a horrifying stare from Liam.

“Liam… listen to me, and please… just listen,” he asked. Liam hesitated, but simply nodded and took a step back. He watched the raven boy shake a bit before his eyes locked onto Liam’s.

“Liam… you’ve done so much for me these past three months. Every moment I have spent with you is a wonderful moment. I honestly love you and I know you love me too,” he caught himself smiling, trying to brush it off quickly. “But you and I both know how bad it is for both of us at school right now. We tried to hide it… but look where that got us? No… a better choice of words would be: look what happened to you…” Zayn’s voice was choking up and he couldn’t resist it. Liam tried to wrap his arms around him, but he squirmed away and made an x-like shake with his arms.

“Liam, I’m sorry… but there is honestly no other way we can do this at all. It’s too much for you and I fuckin’ hate making you feel like this. So…”

“Zayn… what are you saying?” his nerves were unwound and spiraling. Zayn brushed away the last set of tears living under his droopy eyelids before taking in a deep breath to calm himself.

“Liam, we can’t do this anymore. we need to break it off,”

Liam desperately wished he never listened to that last sentence, because everything around him was twisting and he could feel his whole body becoming heavy.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! Chapter 18 is here!!! Chapter 19 to come Sunday-Monday range.

Two weeks of suspension was the total for breaking Jack’s nose and giving both of his eyes a hell of a marking. His suspension ties into Spring Break as well, so he is able to get up to 3 weeks off from school. But yet Liam still oozes into his couch watching reruns of The Office, because he has nothing better to do on a school day.

Every other day, Niall drops off the work they got for the day and checks up on him. Ever since Zayn broke up with him, Liam felt no motivation to do… anything. He just watches this shitty, cries and watches it again. Every now and then he goes out for a walk, but god damn if that ever helps, because Zayn is all that passes through his mind day and night. He groans, drowning himself in more coffee and reciting all the lines he knows backwards and forward. He checks his phone, the time isn’t even three yet.

He still recalls the day Zayn left. Him walking away and how he called. He tried to run but it was as if ice had struck his feet. He was immobilized, and caught in a daze. His guilt was a tornado inside him and he fell onto the ground and couldn’t stop crying. He didn’t know how long tears ran down his face, his insides damaged—Niall was the first to find him. Ever since, the blonde bloke has frequented seeing him to make sure Liam doesn’t wreck himself.

The phone vibrates rapidly, it was Niall. He pulls his thumb across and answers. “Hey Niall,” his tone sounded more exasperated than he planned.

“Aren’t you the happiest of men?”

Liam rolled his eyes sharply. “Did we do anything in school today?”

“Nothing really important in English. Honestly everything is kinda quiet ever since you beat the livin’ shit outa that one twat,” Niall cheered from the other line. “Everyone stopped making fun of you two,”

“Well good for them. What about… Zayn?” he felt himself just die on the inside mentioning his name. Niall dragged out his sigh before coughing a tad bit.

“He’s doing okay. I don’t really talk about you to him and he is pretty quiet. It’s the same old as usual, Payne…”

He collapses onto the couch and sinks into the leather, feeling his soul torn into pieces. God knows why he tries to reach for the memories of the two together. After all, it wasn’t going to be forever. So why does it matter now?

“Sorry… shouldn’t have asked,” he mumbled numbly.

“You know Liam, I highly doubt this is gonna be a permanent thing. I didn’t sit through you and Zayn talking about each other for hours on end for you two to break up,” the blonde scolded. Sadly, it wasn’t doing Liam any justice, really. He checked his phone and noticed the battery drying quickly.

“Hey, my battery is running low. Send me a text tomorrow if we have any work, okay?” Niall agreed and they hung up. He felt some ease hearing the call disconnect before his eyes begun to water rapidly. A teardrop crashed onto his phone screen before he saw his reflection of himself simply crying.

He lay on the sofa, his heart torn in pieces. He misses Zayn so much, and it’s not healthy. But he split up from him, there’s nothing he can do. The best thing to do was ignore Zayn and move on with his life. He’s going to college, Zayn has his own college and possible modeling. They have two different lives.

Right, it was only natural this was bound to happen. But still he cried. He couldn’t control the emotions inside him that coiled his heart. All he could do was cry alone and feel remorse for Zayn, because he still loved that boy. He loved Zayn Malik with all of his heart and wanted to fix that.

“You fucked up, didn’t you Liam…” he repeated his thoughts to an invisible, caring crowd. His voice was choppy and absolutely horrendous, squirming on his couch wasn’t going to help at all either. So there was always one other option to do.

Like a snail’s pace, he propped himself up and slid on his oak coat. A light cashmere scarf and black slim pants was good enough before he stepped out the door. The fresh Washington air was a relief to him—each huff he took in felt like a purifier traced through his veins and made him feel at ease. Of course it was still a bit cold for March weather so he huddled up as close as he could to himself.

His surroundings were all still. The trees that grew tall and dominant made like statues. The clouds of gray traversing along the skies were casting into oblivion and making away while the occasional breeze reminded Liam of where he was. He walked along the beaten sidewalk, pulling his scarf closer to his face. It’s been a long time since he felt this relaxed outside, all by himself.

Being all teenagers, a walk outside usually means they are super hungry or super depressed—bonus: both. He took the time to paint his inner thoughts through his lips, just speaking to himself a few names of people he’s encountered and problems he had to face. Being able to speak about his life gave him a pulse of feeling that he had control. And plus, there were positives going on right now.

For one, he can go back to Wolverhampton. That’s been a goal of his for god knows how many years now.

Maybe this is a sign from god saying high school relationships never last long. There’s always someone out there that you never know of. Someone that could be better than Zayn.

Or maybe, it’s a chance for Liam to realize how much of a fuck up he was for letting a boy like that leave. He was someone whose kisses gave warmth to his body, his kindness painted grins and whose smile left him speechless. And he got away from him, with not a single sign of a fight.

“This is so fucking confusing…” he mouthed off.

“What is?”

“What else? Ab-“ he turned quickly behind him and stood back a bit. Deborah—clutching onto her brown polka and cashmere scarf whilst ignoring winds blowing her hair in multiple places. Liam scowled a bit, feeling anger run through his body.

“And why are you here?”

She frowned wistfully. “I suppose I owe you a lot of apologies, don’t I?” Liam was somewhat shocked hearing her say this. He grumbled to himself a bit before Deborah inched into Liam’s face closer.

“I mean, I developed a crush on you and totally ignored who you truly loved. If I’m not the biggest asshole in the world, then what am I?”

“A bitch who has no care in the world for what she says or what she does,”

“Okay Kathy Griffin, I get what you mean,” her eyes drooped a bit and for once, Liam felt a bit sorry for her.

“So you really came to apologize? And just apologize?” he felt as if this was an interrogation. Deborah nodded, adjusting her loose hair strands away from her face.

“I know it’s kinda hard—actually extremely hard. I was a huge prick to you and made things really bad between you and Zayn at times… I truly am sorry for that,” Liam felt as if she was honest. For once, he could talk to her and not feel too much anger. “I noticed it when you punched Jack, something different,”

“Different? Well, I gave him a broken nose. That’s new from me,”

She remitted a calm laugh. “I mean, I noticed how much you care for Zayn at that time. You stood up for him and didn’t care about your consequences. You’ve always done that. That’s really brave, and I realized at that time what I did… was wrong. Super wrong. Disgusting, even” she sunk her head. “So I just came here to tell you I’m sorry and if there is a shred of hope, we could maybe… be…friends? Or just not hate each other?” Deborah looked at Liam, her eyes begging for an answer. He’ll admit, this was shocking, someone who locked lips with Louis and gave no shit about Zayn, suddenly was apologizing.

“Well, I’m going to be honest. I can probably never trust you 100% ever again. But I guess we can try and be friends? I mean… if you’re 100% serious” and Deborah leapt into his frame, hugging him tightly. She flashed a bright grin that made Liam feel a tad bit better, seeing her all happy.

“Thank you so much Liam! You honestly are a nice guy, fuck what Louis and Harry say!”

He tilted his head in concern. “Aren’t you dating Louis?”

“Was, is the keyword. I broke it off with him when I got suspended too,” she flashed a quick smile.

“Good choice. Plus, you have three years of high school left, focus on school,” Deborah almost broke down from laughing too hard, stirring Liam into multiple states of confusion.

“I’m so sorry Liam, I-I” her break outs of laughter interrupted her. “I only said I was a freshman to get you to show me to the office. I’m a junior actually. I’m so sorry Liam!”

He felt so stupid. Of course she wasn’t a freshman, Louis only went for upperclassmen so why would he go for a freshman. He grunted to himself and thrashed his fingers through his hair. “Well, aren’t I the dumbest bloke in all of existence right now,” she nodded, and the two shared a laugh for the first time. The situation was as if they had been friends for a long time and had no grudge against each other. Senior year really does change you.

Deborah cupped the boys hands and grasped all of his attention. “Listen to me Liam,” she requested.

“Wh-what is it?”

“Be 100% and only 100% honest with me,” her voice nearly fading with strong breezes. “Do you truly love Zayn Malik? Even though you two broke up?”

Liam’s heart was racing just hearing that name. “I… I do. And how did you know we broke up?”

“He explained to some people what happened, but that’s not the point!” Deborah looked different. Normally Liam would see her carrying a snarky laugh or half lit smile, but instead it was a rise of confidence from her.

“If you truly love Zayn, you would go after him even if you broke up, right? Because you love him, right? And from what sappy romantic comedies have taught me: you never give up on the one you love. Ever!” she playfully smacked his side. “So I want you to go after Zayn and make sure you win him back, no matter what!”

“Deborah… why are you so friendly and encouraging to me for Zayn? This doesn’t make sense…” but she walked away slowly. Her feet trekked along the beaten path before she stopped and twisted. Liam was barely able to catch what she said:

“I watched you for two years, Liam Payne! I might not have been the one, but if you’re happy with Zayn, then I’m happy for you! That’s all that matters!”

She took a sharp turn and quickly withdrew from his eyesight. He was tempted to run after her because he could swear there were tears in her eyes. But honestly, in some sense, he understands how Deborah feels a bit. So he walked the other way, moving back home to where his heat was.

“Go after Zayn, huh…” he mouthed to himself and scanned his phone. His pictures were all of him and Zayn on their small dates and hanging out—he couldn’t shake off the good feelings he received from just eyeing these photos. And as he approached his house and sunk back into the couch, he felt himself covered with a new type of burning passion. Liam knew exactly what to do. He had to go back and patch things up with Zayn, even if it wasn’t the smartest thing. Because fuck college and fuck the future.

Zayn is the present, and Liam has a desire to be in the present.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Or... Thursday. Not Monday exactly but it's not 2 weeks late.
> 
> I think I'm gonna spend some time revising some of the previous chapters and fixing them up. So there probably won't be a set date to when this is finished. I'll just work with it on my own and have some fun with it, enjoy everyone!
> 
> Trigger Warning: Blood, Self Harm

“Mr. Payne, a moment please?” he inched his hand away from the door, turning back to Mrs. Carter. She held a thick file full of masses of documents a little too big to be contained. She contained clout, slamming the folder into Liam’s shaky hands.

“Could you do me a favor and deliver these to the library? And possibly, if you could assist them that would be wonderful!”

He rolled a sigh out of his mouth. “Mrs. Carter, haven’t we done enough today?”

“Nonsense! We still have half an hour until 4, and I know you’d like to do anything to make up for your suspension,” her voice was too cheery, bouncing on ends while she trotted back to her desk that was a maze of papers. “Now go on, and don’t be late! You might be my best student, but I don’t make an exception if you slack,”

He trekked up the winding stairs and twisting halls with a giant folder of documents for the library. This was how Liam gets to spend the rest of April: helping out with Mrs. Carter every day after school, a great time this is. But if it helps ease the pressure of his suspension, then he doesn’t mind really.

Sure, Liam got the talking of a lifetime from his mother after the suspension started. Yeah, he probably zoned out for most of it. But he was also glad to be back in school, he only had 2 months left before the school year ended and the weather was warming up. His heart was racing over summer and graduation, and possibly attending Wolverhampton University.

He crept into the same dim library that reeked of musky pages. The library was his hangout during Junior year ,and even this year, with all the studying he did. It was quite easy to place yourself in a fortress of books as time passes on and you’re left behind in the flow of studying. Niall would have to come by and force Liam to go home nearly every day because he was that entranced with studying. It’s a nostalgic feeling to be back in such an isolated area.

The books of infinite knowledge slept on the shelves in categorical order—easy enough to pick one up and get lost in the words. Tables were placed with such spacing and chairs that were easy enough to sit down in and become at home. The scratches were like designs to the table—people marking where they once were. All of this from a small room containing books and Liam loved every moment of it.

“Excuse me!” he called, gripping onto the document with his left hand. He even tapped the bell to get the staff’s attention, but nobody was present at all. He tried again, just about ready to leave.

“Coming!” someone called from the back. A shadow raced along the ground and Liam met eyes with someone, perhaps someone he didn’t want to meet just yet.

“Uh… hey Zayn,” Liam awkwardly mumbled. He slid the file onto the beaten desk to Zayn. “Mrs. Carter wanted me to deliver these to you. And I didn’t know you worked in the library before”

Liam could tell Zayn was as uncomfortable as he was, and it made him angry knowing that a month ago they were as close as could be. Now, it’s like being in a desert and Zayn is a lost oasis.

“Mm’, I’ve been here since school started last week helping out. It’s a good way to kill some time and get some studyin’ in here and there,… yeah?” he paused for a moment when he took the files. “Thank you,” he was about to turn away when out of instinct, Liam lunged for his shoulder and gripped it. A few seconds after, he was able to process what he did and pulled back in shame.

“Shit, sorry! I.. was told if there was something I could do here, then I should do it,”.

Zayn glanced up in thought before he snapped his bony fingers together. “Could you reorganize the shelves for science books? There’s a list on how they should go by the books so you can use that,” Zayn said. He nodded and turned away in direction to the science area. Zayn retreated back to the main reception counter for checking out books. Liam felt like a massive weight trying to retreat from Zayn. After all, he wasn’t even 1% over the raven boy.

***

The books around him made him feel trapped in an endless maze. Pictures, text and hard book covers all around him that looked like they could spill onto him at any moment. He repeated the same actions of taking one book out and placing it in front of another one. Only a passing sigh was the sound that filled the room every other minute. The books clanked against each other as he shuffled about.

And sure enough, not even five minutes had passed. Liam was edging to leave and sneak away from how bored he was. So he counted the minutes that trekked slowly, the dust in the air vibrating with life around him as he counted.

He couldn’t help, however, to steal looks at Zayn who vibrantly tapped away at the counter and signed papers. His face looked bright, his whole presence made Liam feel warm. However, he also felt something twist inside him in a bad way the more he looked at him. Well fuck, it’s because they aren’t together.

Liam huffs out another long sigh before suddenly, a sudden force strikes him in the head. When he looks up, all he could remember seeing was three books coming straight at him before he tumbled down and smacked into the ground.

“Shit!” he winced in pain quite loudly, covering his mouth. He heard the pattering of footsteps before realizing Zayn was over him, watching Liam lay on the floor with a mark on his head.

“Christ, Leeyum. Are you okay?” he rolled the e’s specifically, extending a hand to pick him up. Liam tried to brush it off but couldn’t ignore the burning pain on his forehead.

“I think I’m okay, yeah…”

“You sure? Because even I heard that, it was super loud,”

Liam shrugged. “I think you should know by now I’m kinda a klutz,” another book clonked against Liam’s head knocking him off balance, and Zayn went wild.  Liam joined in as well, the two laughed together for the first time in almost a month. They couldn’t stop and quite frankly, didn’t care. Nobody was in the library, nobody could hear the raucous they stirred. 

“Really though, are you okay?” he asked. Liam caught his breath and directed a nod to him. Really, Liam was the opposite of okay. There was lots wrong with him, but that’s pretty obvious at this point.

“Yeah, I think I’m gonna clean up real quick and head out,” Liam suggested. Zayn gave a nod and stood a little distant from him. “What about you?”

He paused for a moment. “I have some stuff to do, so I’ll be here for a while,” Liam gave a nod before Zayn turned away from him. “I guess I’ll see you around, Payne…” he waved and left Liam to himself in the dusty coven space. The brown boy extended his arm to him as if he could lasso Zayn right back to him where he could hold him tight and brush his hair away from the soulful eyes. Instead, he tried to call out.

“If you need anything, you can let me know!” Liam stupidly shouted. Zayn did hesitate for a moment before walking back to the desk as if nothing had happened. This frustrated Liam as he plopped down on the gruff carpet, sinking his head into his arms.

“God, I’m so stupid…” he spoke to an invisible audience veiling him.

***

Days later, he lay on his bed, the ceiling twisting in all shapes to his eyes. He was used to this feeling: being lost and out of words. In fact, one could say Liam has felt this ever since he left home.

Scattered about were books that laid beside him, open and flipped to certain pages that he’s been spending too much time looking at. He wanted to study and focus on his test tomorrow, but Zayn’s words from the previous afternoon were waving through him still. Everything about Zayn rather was causing Liam to act up. He couldn’t focus so he got up, scanning through his messages.

His most messages sent were Zayn, of course. His lips pursed the more he eyed the simple texts they sent back and forth. These were only a few months ago, but Liam had a dying urge to want that feeling he had again. The sensation of his heart oozing away into melted happiness when Zayn texted him that same emoticon over and over. The way they could keep a conversation going for hours on end and have no moment of pause. The way Zayn would call him just to say he loves Liam with a burning passion.

He can’t take it anymore. He’s sunk around enough.

Liam presses onto Zayn’s contact and ready to call when his phone goes dark for a moment, and something catches him.

Zayn was calling Liam.

He swiped the answer button. “Zayn?” Liam mused out. He was greeted with silence but could pick up the sound of a hitching breath. This made Liam stand up quickly.”Zayn, what’s up?”

“Liam… I-I fucking did it again,” he could hear the sound of Zayn sobbing from his phone. “I-I thought I was o-okay, but I did it again… Liam, I fucked up,” he was already sprinting downstairs, swooping up his keys. Luckily his mother was out of town for the weekend visiting some friends in Canada.

“Babe,” he ignored any regret from using that word. “Zayn please, stay calm. What exactly happened?” he was huffing for some air, opening the door to his garage and slipping out into the wind.

“I’d gone 4 months Liam… 4 months without it,” and Liam was starting to realize what was going on. This made him jump into his car with even more speed and slam the tips into the engine. “I… I’m sorry Liam, I can’t do this. I’m s-so weak, I fucking hate myself…” Zayn broke down sobbing, Liam could feel his heart being shred into millions of pieces.

Agile wasn’t even a way to describe how fast Liam was going, because luckily at night no cops are around to pull him over. Easily he was going 20 over the speed limit and flooring. Yet he still held onto the phone like it was his life and pressed it firmly against his ear. “Zayn, please… please don’t.. I-I’ll be over soon. Okay? So… please don’t do anything more, please,” he kept repeating to him, but suddenly the line disconnected. Liam felt his stomach flipping in multiple paths before he finally pulled into Zayn’s neighborhood. Time felt like a weight that was dragging on him, his heart was pounding vigorously. But Liam could only concentrate on Zayn and getting to him.

He hauled ass out of his car and approached the door. But then he realized: he doesn’t have a key. But as he gripped onto the handle in final desperation, he was met with the door slithering open. This put him off balance before he vanished into the dim lighting of Zayn’s house.

It wasn’t hard to tell where he was, because one of his room’s lights was spilling from the pale door that acted as a barrier between Liam and Zayn. He quickly hassled up the stairs, almost tripping twice but still moving forward. For some reason, Zayn’s family wasn’t home. It was no wonder he called Liam, because not only do they not know of their relationship, they don’t know of Zayn’s issues.

He stood face to face with the door and gulped down all of his fears in one sitting. Gripping onto the iron handle, Liam thrust open the door before realizing what his eyes were witnessing.

Zayn met eyes with Liam, he was laying against a bed with blood flowing from his fresh cuts and a drenched razor blade on the side. His tears were sinking down his cheeks heavily.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I'll get it done before September!" Oops.
> 
> Well, at least it's almost done. 2-3 Chapters to go, man it's been so fun working on this. The hits made me feel so happy and I'm glad some people liked this. Thank you very much everyone!!! Of course I'm gonna write some oneshots and stuff later. 
> 
> I also started Senior Year, one more year to go!!!

In immediate reaction, Liam lunged for a wet cloth and bucket full of water, he firmly held it to the boy’s open wounds. Zayn flinched before eventually relaxing a bit. Liam let his fingers run over Zayn’s cheek and he quietly shushed his sobbing. “Just relax babe, I’m here now…” he mouthed. Zayn gave a nod in response—too damaged to even talk. All the raven boy could do was give into Liam’s warmth and let out small cries, letting the wet cloth absorb the blood oozing from his forearm.

“L-Liam…” he mouthed slowly. “Are you… mad at me?”

“You mean, for cutting again…?”

“Y-Yeah… I promised I wouldn’t, and…” Liam cut him off with a kiss against his dry lips. Fuck, it’s been too long since he tasted the dry landscape of Zayn’s lips. He inched back in some regret, however. “Shit, sorry… I couldn’t stop myself a-and” but Zayn did the exact same.

The two were kissing for the first time in a month. Their lips moved together in sync and caused Liam to moan lightly under his hitched breath. They broke away, Liam couldn’t erase the grin pasted on his face.

“I could never be mad at you for something like this babe,” he took the cloth away and rinsed it, blood flowing away. Liam felt traces of sadness pulse through him when he looked back at the wounds that ran across Zayn’s arm. “I’m a little disappointed in myself for not being there for you…”

“Well, we broke up and… I didn’t want to bug you,”

“Z, I’m still your friend, I hope at least,” Liam let out a long sigh, resting his forehead onto Zayn’s. “I’ve just been a shitty boyfriend, I guess,”

Zayn’s face turned into light shades of anxiousness. “No! Y…You weren’t the shitty one, I was!” he almost hollered. “I was selfish and should have stuck with you, I didn’t realize how pained you would be. Niall told me about how you were and I tried my best to forget you, but… but…” he let out high pitched sobs.

“I can’t forget a boy like you, Liam. I could never forget someone who changed my life,”

Liam noticed once how the light fixated around Zayn when he confessed to him. They circulated around the boy and he noticed just how beautiful he was. It was exactly like that time, Liam was noticing the low lights from the ceiling and the moon outside all focusing on Zayn. Liam absorbed all of it in, analyzing Zayn’s mild smile and brightening eyes. His quiff, somehow, still in shape. His skin that was beautiful and his lips that demanded to be kissed. Liam was speechless at just how beautiful this boy was, because he had never seen someone like him until the first day of English. The light that shined on Zayn only made Liam realize just how lucky he was, to have a boy like him in his life.

“Zayn…” he paused, reaching closer to Zayn’s lips. “I love you so much. You mean so much to me, and you’ve shown me just how fun a high school life can be if you have the right people in your circle. Because before I met you, I absolutely despised my life,” the two were like statues, connected by foreheads and holding onto each other like they were ropes.

“I’ve wanted to go back to Wolverhampton so much that I hated Seattle with a burning passion. I didn’t know about anything fun to do here, even with Niall. But then… I met you, Zayn Malik. I met you and the world around me unfolded. It was all because of you, I’m the happiest boy in the world. It’s all thanks to you, babe” Zayn wasn’t the only one sobbing anymore. Liam’s tears were flowing down his cheeks, he pried a smile in empathy. “Sorry, I know that was super cheesy,”

Zayn quickly kissed the brown haired boy, wiping tear trails away with his nimble fingers. “Thank you, Payne,” and Liam’s face turned to shades of pink in embarrassment of crying. He propped up slowly, quickly grabbing hold of the cloth. “Uh, do you have a first aid kit somewhere? I’ll try and stop the blood from flowing,”

“It’s in the hall closet, one of the shelves I think…” Liam vanished from the room quickly, in search for the kit. Fumbling among words, he navigated through the hall, eventually returning with the first aid kid. With ease, Liam applied the hydrogen peroxide. Zayn winced in pain, crashing against the side of the bed.

“Shit,” he breathed out. Liam’s fingers naturally entwined with Zayn, helping him ease through the pain. Taking a few of the giant band aids, he layered them over his cuts, making sure they stayed in place. The injured boy huffed out a final sigh before collapsing onto Liam’s rigid shoulders. He wrapped around Zayn and pushed him closer to his chest, letting him rest in his arms.

“Leeyum…” he was muffled by Liam’s shoulder. “Can we… uh… you know… go back?”

“Go back?”

“I mean… can I still call you mine, even after the last month?” Liam’s face was painted with smiles before placing another kiss on Zayn’s rigid lips. He beamed in excitement, forcing himself up with the brown bloke’s support. They stayed in a hug though, the warmth they shared made both the boys wish this lasted forever.

“I love you, Zayn,” he gazed into the spiraling sensation of the raven boy’s eyes, knowing he could get lost in them forever.

Zayn nodded, collapsing back into Liam’s chest. “I love you too, Liam,” they lay in serene for hours, breathing in the thick emotion that veiled the atmosphere.

***

“Hey, Zayn…” Liam’s arms encased Zayn, they lay under a toasty cotton blanket etched with different designs from the artistic lad. “Do you mind if I spend the night tonight? Seeing as it’s a Friday and all…” the movie acted as a blockade of sounds, protecting the two from anything outside. Also, Scarface was one of Zayn’s favorite movies.

“Uh, sure. I don’t have any problems, yeah?” he flashed a sly smile, crashing onto Liam’s side and cuddling with him. Both the boys could have been hit by a tornado and still refused to move from how pleasant this is.

The movie played as a white noise while the two’s fingers crawled and hooked together. It was dark enough that Zayn couldn’t see Liam’s goofy grin when they connected their heads. All they saw were young eyes, madly in love with each other. They pressed their lips, each savoring the taste.

Liam twisted backward, collapsing onto the velvet couch. His hips bucked against Zayn when he felt a warm tongue slither into his lukewarm mouth. A moan passed through him, because fuck Zayn was good at this.

His body was like an oven, blazing and engulfed in heat. His face was flushed, but he refused to end it. His lips pursed and his tongue clashed, he kept grinding onto Zayn making whines pass through him as well. His hands cuffed the back of Zayn’s thick hair, prancing about his fingers. Their hips grinded together in movement and Liam could feel his pants growing tighter.

“F-fuck, Li-Liam…” Zayn breathed out in quick breaths. Liam let his fingers slide down the front of Zayn’s shirt, he pulled away from Zayn a bit to catch his breath before repeating the kiss and losing his breath. Liam’s fingers ran to Zayn’s belt, until he felt a bulge sensation. His eyes dropped down, seeing Zayn’s pants similar to Liam’s and an outline was forming. His fingers wrapped around his erection, but Zayn shot away rapidly, his eyes puffy.

“Shit! S-Sorry, I didn’t.. I mean you just had that happen and I’m…” but Zayn’s lips shut him up for a second. But he collapsed onto Liam, and he was able to recognize just how tired Zayn was.

“S-sorry Liam… I’m…” he welled up, curling onto the brown boy and his fists clutching to his shirt. “I don’t think… I-I’m ready for it yet. I know we’ve been dating since December and sex is important… but I-“ Liam enclosed Zayn to him and dragged his thumb across the quaking boy. They slowly propped up in sync, fixating on the blanket in tangles from their make out session.

“Babe, it’s okay. You just had a rough night and it’s best to take things slow. Whenever you’re comfortable, we can try. But don’t worry about it! Sex isn’t the most important thing between us,” his kiss flipped Zayn’s frown. “As long as we’re together, then I’m okay,”

Zayn’s gaze lost focus, he chucked his vision elsewhere. “… Even in college?” Zayn asked. Liam had to stop for a moment, because he truly didn’t have a full answer.

“I think… we can do it,”

“Are you sure you want to strain yourself like that? Because to be truthful, a reason I broke up with you at first was I didn’t know if you wanted to deal with something like that. You know, we had different careers and all,”

He felt bad for making Zayn think that. His time with him was precious, there was really nothing to ‘deal’ within the first place. He huffed out a thick sigh—this one was an exhausted one. However, it was something that should be dealt with sooner. He thought to himself, plastered in his own empty thoughts.

“You know… I had a dream as a child. It was an odd dream, but could I tell you about it?” Liam questioned.

Zayn lost concentration for a second before nodding. “Sure babe, what is it?”

“You see, as a kid I dreamed of living on an island in the sky. Just one simple island I could maintain peace in to myself. I never realized the true purpose of the dream, but I still had it every time I felt like something was wrong with me. In some sense, it was a reminder to my future… and I think after 18 years, I finally get it Zayn,”

“You get it?”

“I think the island represents my happiness and me living on that island is like saying I just want a future where I can be happy. Zayn, a future with you… is what would make me happy,” he pressed a firm kiss. “That’s why I think we can do this. It’ll be rough, seeing how I’m only home two times a year. But I know we can do it, because I love you Zayn,” their faces lit up like a neon light in New York City. “I love you, a lot…”

“I love you as well, Liam,” his smile created pride to the boys heart. “To infinity and beyond, as Toy Story says,”

“You used my favorite movie to tell me how much you love me. That’s true dedication babe,” they shared an uprising chuckle together. This was all Liam wanted in life, just this satisfaction of having a hint to your future. He didn’t care what it was, as long as it made him happy and Zayn was near.

“I wonder how beginning of the year me would react to me, right now,” the bloke laughed while fixating the blanket to cover both the boys. They didn’t realize how much of the movie had played while the two… had fun. A blush crept across Liam’s face as he remembered the way Zayn’s tongue felt on his dry mouth.

Zayn oozed back into Liam, placing one last kiss on the back of Liam’s neck and throwing his arms over the boys upper torso. “Let’s just stay like this for the night babe, okay?”

“Sounds like a great night for me, Z” their eyes had troubles breaking away from each other as the film continued. “But real quick, I have to let you know something important,” he felt a trance of fatigue race through him quickly. However, Liam still leaned inward.

“Usted es mi sol. Querida, te necesito…,” the two sunk into slumber after he read Zayn’s curving lips. But Liam could swear on his life, he heard Zayn mumble something under his breath before falling into a peaceful sleep.

“I took Spanish you know, you adorable dumbass,” 


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god I am so sorry for the delay. Literally 2 months later.
> 
> I had surgery and I was in the hospital for a week in October. I also started school and a new job so I've been very busy. On the bright side, last chapter is next chapter!!! So enjoy!

He certainly wasn't expecting an early 6AM call from Zayn, frantic about the day. He also wasn’t expecting to be begged to tag along to the open shoot. But Zayn insisted and insisted, pestering Liam from his early morning sleeping.

“Please babe, my family is going but I’m still so fuckin’ nervous it’s crazy,” he blathered at the end of the line. Liam flicked crusty spring time allergies from his eyes, trying to remember what his name was.

“Babe, you’ll do great. Trust me, you got scouted so I’m sure they’ll help you with this process,”

“Modeling seems so tough though. I spent hours researching and I’m not sure if they’ll like me enough, do you know what I mean?” but Liam dragged a sigh out, knowing how to end this.

“Fine, I’ll be with your family. I understand how import-“ he didn’t even come close to finishing his sentence when Zayn showered him in thank yous, before quickly dropping from the call. In just a second, a piercing sound from his phone rang through. He retrieved a text from Zayn with the address, time set and how long it would be. All he could do was roll back to bed, begging to someone out there, “please let me sleep again” he mouthed over and over.

The day grew sluggish, Liam slumping out of bed. The hot water undulating over his body, washing away his fatigue. His boyfriend needed him, stirring excitement in his body. He huffed out a loud sigh, throwing a light sweater on and a pair of jeans. Chugging along, he regarded a note laying alone on the counter.

“Gone for the day, but talk to me later tonight,” how peculiar. He never got notes like this from his mom. But he didn’t have much time, Liam knew Zayn was probably quaking in nervousness waiting for him. He started his car, driving as quick as possible on a Saturday Morning. The traffic was congested and the roads sealed tight with cars. The ABC studios was located in a crowded section of Seattle, normally unreachable.

The jam packed roads lightened up the already darkened zones of Seattle. The more he looked, the specks of light traversing at hasting speeds, he felt an urge. This was his home, Seattle. Liam had gotten atoned to this fact the more he stayed here. He was used to it, everything about Seattle. But he was also excited to know he was leaving, a town that contained his dreams was his next destination.

Liam was in a daze, steering and turning at the same directions. His thoughts jumped from college, to how much he hated the weather and to Zayn. The late April sun sniping through his tinted windows made him squint.

His time was pressed but he inched into a parking lot with a giant building overshadowing Liam’s presence. He eyed in awe, analyzing the windows in columns, painted by different shades of dull greys. Parking his car, he treaded along the paved ground, noticing how Zayn’s family car was parked near the building. He felt bad, knowing Zayn’s family doesn’t have enough money to support Zayn with a vehicle, let alone college without loans.

The brisk air of pine waved into his face, Liam coughed upon entering the building. It was like a studio of pearl, with lights in various areas all laminating the features of the building. Liam got the impression of just how high end this place was. He started to wonder if his sweater was even worthy enough to be in here, seeing how some of the staff looked to be models walking around. This was a high end place alright.

“Uh sir, may I help you?” a petit woman, blonde hair like waves crashing down her sides. She was extremely pretty, as if she had just walked out of a fashion show. He was dazzled a bit before shaking his head.

“Oh. I was, uh, wondering if Zayn Malik was still here? I heard he was doing a photo shoot and he asked me to come by and visit, if that’s okay…” he felt as if his presence was enslaved by her aura. But she exchanged a warm smile before going back to her computer and scavenged through papers.

“Zayn Malik is just upstairs in the photography room. Take this pass,” she slipped Liam a cardboard paper like pass that he hung to. “You’ll need it to get anywhere in the building. But just go directly there,”

“Thank you,” Liam nodded, before following the direction she pointed. He almost got lost even following direction because of how large the studio was. The boy wandered aimlessly through the burrowing hallways that sank and rose, a modern style he could say.

He approached the elevator and pressed up. Quickly, he followed the directions after leaving and soon gazed up at the Photography door. He frisked the door open, emerging into the environment.

A plain white screen as tall as a building shadowed the room. Photographers everywhere, circling around and snapping photos. Liam caught sight of his mother and sisters on the side, watching in awe. When he looked over, Liam’s mouth could have dropped from its position he was in shock.

Zayn had never looked so… _beautiful._ The way he sat made the light gloss all of his cheek bones and brown orbs that were like a dazzling sea. His lips and face looked applied with a natural makeup but he looked so stunning. Liam was in complete awe, entranced by how beautiful he looked. He moved to the side with Zayn’s family, watching him pose.

“Tilt your head up just a b- that’s it! Now look away, be a statue!” they shouted, as if he were a dog. Zayn obeyed and followed their lead. They cheered in enthusiastic responses for every photo they took.

“They say he’s like a natural,” Zayn’s mother spoke. They all looked towards him moving and changing poses. “They say he might be able to do magazine shoots in just a few weeks, he’s that good,”

“Are you serious? That’s great!” Liam flashed a grin. He felt proud, watching Zayn up on the higher plateau. The best of it all? Zayn was smiling.

He was genuinely smiling, he looked so happy, it was as if Liam couldn’t even recognize the raven boy. Liam smiled, giving Zayn a big thumbs up. He laughed, giving a thumbs up back at Liam.

Zayn’s smile splashed against his heart, making him feel at ease. He looked as if he was honestly enjoying himself, and that’s all Liam had wanted. Watching Zayn do something he loves made him want to reach out and hug him 1000 times. Zayn’s mom must have felt the same way, judging by her constant nods of approval.

The photographers called for a lunch break before retreating to the sides. Zayn, exhausted, trekked over to Liam and his mum, chugging down the bottle of water given. The spotlights were hot, they had Zayn sweating.

“Are you having fun, dear?” his mum asked. “You seem to be working up quite a sweat,”

“The spotlights are boiling hot when you stand under them wearing clothes meant for winter,” he looked down at his rather stylish wardrobe. Liam’s eyes ran across it, noticing how tight Zayn’s ass was in those skinny jeans. He really had quite the package. “But yeah, I’m doing fine mum,”

Zayn’s mum quickly retreated from the scene having to chase after her daughters. It was just Zayn and Liam alone, the dazzling light raining all over him. Liam couldn’t resist the urge to smile, his fingers slithering around Zayn’s. He closed the gap between them with a light kiss on his pure lips.

“Babe, I think I know what I’m doing,” Zayn spoke softly, his quivering breath brushing against Liam’s skin. “I’m going to study here, in Seattle, University of Washington”

“I figured you’d say that, to be honest,” Liam faked a laugh. He knew deep down what would happen, he was downright terrified.

“I want to continue modeling on the side, they offered me time with college. I think… it’s the best way to make money at this point… but I know whatever I say won’t really change anything,” the air was still, but nobody really made any effort to talk. The studio had emptied out completely and nobody but those two were in the room, not once breaking eye contact.

“Liam, I love you. You know that, right?”

“Of course I do, I love you too. But you’re gonna be so far from me Zayn.. and…” he couldn’t hold it together anymore. Liam’s face unleashed tears flowing like the Niagara falls down his cheeks. “I… I don’t know, I’m sorry I don’t like crying and-“ but Zayn cut him off with a deep kiss.

It stunned Liam at first before he eventually gave in and closed his eyes. This was what he enjoyed the most: their kisses. The way their lips were like a puzzle piece and could fit together, the way his hands could grasp to Zayn’s sides and he could feel at home made him feel at ease. Liam barred into his boyfriend’s shoulder and sobbed to himself. He felt Zayn’s fingers trace circles on his back, what he used to do for Zayn.

“Shh, it’s okay babe, just breathe in and out,” his voice flowed. Liam felt more relaxed, in the familiar arms gripping around him. “We can make it work out, yeah?”

“I know we can, babe… but it’s going to be tough. We’ll be in two different continents, separated from each other. Won’t you be alone?”

“I convinced Niall to apply and he got accepted too. If anything, I should be asking if you’d be the one alone, yeah?” this cracked a smile on his shaking lips. They placed one last kiss on each other before separating.

“It’ll be tough, but I think we can manage. Maybe one day you could come fly out and visit me, yeah?” they laughed before excusing themselves to a well needed lunch. The rest of the day flew by, as Liam observed his boyfriend have the time of his life.

“It’s interesting,” Liam spoke to the photographer next to him. “How a few months can change a person greatly,”

***

When he arrived at his house, the lights were all blaring from the outside. His mother must have gotten home just before him, even though it was only 7PM. He entered, his mother flickering through pointless channels on the TV.

“Hey Liam, how was your day?”

“It was great, Zayn was fantastic. What did you want to talk to me about?” she motioned her hands to sit across from her on the couch. When he sat down, Liam felt a creeping pressure consume him.

“Has Zayn decided what he wanted to do for college?”

“He’s gonna study at University of Washington with Niall. He also is going to do modeling on the side,”

“Are you still going to be with him?” Liam was shocked a bit by how persistent she was being.

“Yeah, we can make it work,” but his mum still shot him very cautious glances.

“Liam, I want to be honest with you,” she let out a heavy sigh, before dropping her shoulders. “I got married when I was 20. I dated your father in high school and fell in love, but it’s a big commitment. Sometimes, you wonder if you married the right man…” she paused. “Now, we’re divorced and on our own. So I want you to be honest, are you still going to be with him?”

It took a moment for Zayn to answer. But slowly, he let his head drop into a nod. “I do, mum. I love Zayn Malik, and I want to be with him no matter how far I am from him. I believe I’m right,” Liam had never answered so directly to her. He felt different about it. But he felt a bit of happiness when she gave out a warm smile to him before leaving a neat, blue wrapped box on the table.

“Give that to Zayn before you leave to Wolverhampton. I think he’d appreciate it,” she left the room, waving. Liam was in awe, looking at the small box and he wondered what was inside it. Liam grew curious, going upstairs to sleep for the rest of the night with a warm feeling circulating around him.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a great ride, but The Light Shines On You's final chapter is here. 
> 
> Thank you guys for the kudos and reads it means so much to me. Honestly it took me forever to finish this Chapter (6,800 words, go wild) but everything about this was amazing. I might do an epilogue in the future, who knows. I think the ending is nice too aha.
> 
> I don't know what's next though. I was thinking of some Cake / More Ziam stuff. Instead of a series though, maybe do some one shots with random AU's, I think that's a good idea. If you have any ideas feel free to comment!
> 
> None the less, thank you all for being with me these past 10 months in reading. I've had a blast and I'm so happy this piece of work is done. Lots of fun moments writing it. Thank you all so much! 
> 
> Until Next Time,
> 
>  
> 
> -MrBlueSkies

Finals were over, their final transcripts were in. Senior year was over, Liam was ecstatic and he was ready to go home and scream to the heavens by just how excited he was.

In five minutes.

“Babe you’ve been looking at the clock for like 15 minutes straight,” Zayn groaned a bit while their fingers clutched together. “Are you really that pumped for school ending?”

“Who wouldn’t be?” Niall was eating a bag of salty chips, his feet up on the tilted table. The library was quiet, all the staff went home early. All three of them were supposed to be in advisory class, listening to their advisor speak about the final things before graduation but none of the boys cared. Right after finals, all three lost motivation to be involved in anything regarding the school.

“I didn’t mind hanging out in the library reading, I’m gonna miss some things about high school…” the raven boy let out a deep sigh and fell back into the colorful designed chair. “It’s weird knowing we’re all done in a few minutes, yeah?”

“That’s what makes things better, we’re done in a few minutes!” the brown boy fell into Zayn’s side lightly and felt his hair being brushed by Zayn’s fingers, creating tingles that ran across his body. He could feel the ring tug against his skin, the one his mum asked to give to Zayn. Liam handed it to him as a graduation gift, the raven boy smiled and kissed him over and over. “No more high school homework, no more drama, no more assholes, pricks, you name it,”.

“College is in three months, I can’t wait for that stress too,” Niall slouched in his chair. “Also, you won’t have your big bad scary reputation Liam,” he laughed.

“I don’t think I’m that scary…”

“Babe, you knocked a guy out and broke his nose. That’s hardcore as fuck,”

“It was for you, everything I did was for you at that time,” Liam flipped a smile and gave a quick peck on Zayn’s cheek. “I love you, Zayn,”

“I love you too, Liam…” the two cuddled together when they heard a loud cough from their table they sat at.

“We love you too, Niall” the two said in unison. If Zayn and Liam ever hang out with Niall, they promised he would never third wheel for them. So, Niall wants to be included in their sappy romantic times in the most “platonic way possible”.

“Oi lovebirds,” Niall charmed into their cuddle session. “We got 10 seconds left!” he cheered.

The clock’s hand ticked over the 10, and then the 11. The three counted down together, their eyes darting fiercely at the clock.

“Five,”

“Four,”

“Three!”

“Two!”

“One!”

The three raised their arms and hugged each other, they were done. High school was over for the seniors. They were officially done and never had to show up ever again. Except for graduation, obviously. Liam’s beaming excitement washed through him, placing a kiss onto Zayn’s pursing lips. He crept into Liam’s side letting his arms go down his back.

“Are ya two done yet? I’d like to leave,” Niall chimed in. The two broke apart, shades of red traversing through their cheeks before they trekked together down the winding halls.

Liam mentally noted everything he remembered about being here. The hallways, the teachers, the assholes, the bigger assholes and Mrs. Carter. She was the one teacher who Liam wished taught at Wolverhampton so he could have her.

“Liam! Zayn! Niall!” Mrs. Carter’s voice rang through their ears in coincident timing. She held something in her palm, clutching tightly.

“Mrs. Carter, I swear I didn’t do anything wrong, I-“ she laughed, making Niall end his sentence. He frowned. “What’s so funny?”

“It’s not you did anything wrong, I just wanted to give you this,” she handed Liam a photograph, it came from the Photography club. “They told me to hand these out to the students in it, so I tracked you guys down,”

When he saw the photograph, Liam couldn’t help but laugh. It was during the holidays when everyone dressed up as characters from The Great Gatsby. Liam was Nick and Zayn was Gatsby, the two were sharing a toast of “vodka” (actually, water) and smiling. Niall was also there too, as the bartender. He wanted to be Gatsby, but then realized he’d have to have read the book.

“Thank you! This is a great picture,” Zayn chipped in, laughing at Niall’s pose. When he kept looking at it, it was a good memory that Liam could always think back to. It’s a time where the three were carefree and friends.

It was the three boys smiling, having fun together in the one class they all had. Mrs. Carter suddenly pulled all of them into an embrace. “Despite how much trouble you gave, all of you provided great performance to my class and I’m glad I had you all. Please, do your best throughout life and never stop,” she waved a farewell and turned away. Liam, however, raised his voice, saying one last thing to his favorite teacher that he might never see again.

“Cleaning up the campus wasn’t a bad punishment, you know!”.

***

“So graduation is on the 15th of June…” Niall emerged himself in his planner. Strangely enough, the disorganized blonde carried a planner with him at all times. He rarely used it, Liam never saw him with it anyway. “I think we can fit it in!”

“What the hell are you talking about, Niall?” the brown boy questioned from his bed. Zayn was too emerged in his own book to even notice they were having a conversation. Niall snickered, poking Liam’s forehead.

“I’m talking about the annual summer trip to my family’s beach house, of course!” he swung his around in content. “We can go before graduation!”

“Wait uh, Niall…” Liam stopped him. “Isn’t that usually your family’s kind of thing?”

“Well, this year they decided to go visit my grandpa. But they also needed someone to check on the house, so I volunteered. Might as well bring some company, so why not us three head up?”

Before Liam could even begin, Zayn quickly threw the book to the side and shot up. His face oozed excitement.

“A-Are you serious? That sounds great!” he rocked in the rolling chair. “Where is it located?”

“It’s down on the coast of Western Oregon, by Portland, got a great view of the water and a beach,” Niall huffed in pride.

“When would be a good time to go, though?” Liam asked. “I don’t know what exactly but my mom wanted to take me out to Spokane sometime,”

“How about June 12th? We can go take the train that day and come back the next day, it’ll be great!” and before Liam could answer, Zayn jumped in with a ‘yes’, smiling tumultuously. It was obvious he was excited, so Liam complied and gave no argument. “Sounds good to be,” he spoke. His fingers were caressed by Zayn’s, exchanging smiles throughout the rest of their day.

Liam hummed for the rest of their time at Niall’s in excitement.

***

Four in the morning is not a time Liam wants to be up, especially after school ending and he got the chance to sleep in.

He trudged along sluggishly, washing his face with the warm water running down his cheeks. He took one last glimpse at his face, seeing the large dark circles drooping under his eyelids. “Christ…” he mumbled, circulating the dark spots with his thin fingers.

A knock on his door broke his focus. “Hello?” he called out.

“Liam?” his mum, as tired as him, replied back. “Your friends are here… I think so,”

“You think so?”

“I don’t have my eyes open, I’m trying to sleep while talking,” Liam rolled his eyes and opened the door. His mother stood in her bathrobe, Niall and Zayn behind her waving excitedly.

“Mate! Are you ready for this trip?” Niall was clearly energetic. Zayn however, sluggishly trekked along. His feet barely levitated off the floor and his yawns were a chorus. He still looked cute to Liam though.

“I’m amazed you have this much energy at 4AM, did you have coffee or something?” Liam gazed upon the bouncing blonde, trucking alongside the room as his mum returned back to bed.

“Well, does three cups count?”

“Three cups?!”

“He’s still going strong too,” Zayn pitched in. He made like a snail to Liam’s side, laying his head on his shoulder and wrapping his weak arms over Liam’s upper torso. The warmth of Zayn’s body made Liam smile, letting himself go into the hold.

“You know, if we leave in 15, we can be at the beach by 8AM tops. That gives us the full day to enjoy ourselves,” Niall interrupted. Throwing his arms over the two.

“You know, I’m glad you are the driver. If it was me we would probably crash,” Liam laughed. The three boys went downstairs, Liam made himself a cup of coffee and Zayn had tea. They prepared any snacks needed for the trip to the coasts knowing it would be a while.

They packed into Niall’s F150 truck that his dad owned (Niall was going to take his car but his dad insisted the truck was better, so now he’s stuck with an oversized vehicle that uses too much gas). “Before we go,” he stated. “Do we have everything we need for the trip? Coffee? Tea? Chips?”

“All clear captain!” Zayn gave a thumbs up from the backseat. Niall flashed a pearly smile.

“Then let’s head off!” he exclaimed. Turning the keys, the truck roared in exhaust and sounded like an erupting volcano. Liam, frightened the neighbors would all awake (and they probably did) curled into his seat and covered his eyes. But he felt familiar arms wrap him from behind. Zayn leaned in close and whispered softly into Liam’s ear:

“Let’s make some memories babe,”

***

With the help of multiple rest stops, Niall needing more coffee, Zayn accidentally spilling his tea right at the beginning, the trip lasted 5 hours. But it wasn’t so bad, Liam kicked back in the passenger seat with Fitz and the Tantrum playing. A cold lemonade in his palm, he sipped it slowly and felt the wind from the outside pass through the car. His shades that hid the drooping shade under his eyes filled him with energy of how cool he looked.

This was a summer Liam dreamed of having: being with friends you care about on a road trip. Sure it’s a tumblr hipster dream that he feels second hand embarrassment for talking about—he loves it though.

Familiar arms wrapped around him, making Liam feel much more relaxed. Zayn placed a kiss onto his lips, smiling in the middle of their lip lock. He carefully avoided Zayn’s quiff knowing how much he loved his hair. Zayn widened his grin, their hands locking together in the warming sunlight.

Liam couldn’t help but notice Zayn’s stretched arms. He pressed a smile and relaxed his breath. “You know, I can’t see them anymore babe,”

“See what?”

“He means the scars,” Niall spoke, keeping his eyes on the road. “You can’t see them anymore, I’m glad you wore a short sleeved shirt. It looks good on you,”

“Wait.. really? B-because I was scared people would notice so I was going to put a sweater over my arms…” he sounded sad, causing Liam’s heart to crumble a bit.

“No babe, you’re fine,” he placed a kiss on his cheek. “It shows how much you’ve changed in a year, it’s great really!” and Zayn couldn’t wipe off the smirk he had on his lips, traveling back to his seat and sitting down. He put away the sweater into his bag, zipping it into the back.

Niall turned into a rocky road out of nowhere and everyone shook. Gripping onto dear life, they continued to go down the path until a gate appeared. “Just a sec,” Niall said, leaving the truck. He walked over, unlocking the gate and opening up. Then, returning back to the truck, he drove right in. Liam and Zayn gazed upon the gate shutting themselves from the road and turning away.

Eventually they stopped and Liam could see everything. There was a wide view of the azure ocean that engulfed the sands. Small specks in the distance that looked like islands were scattered among the horizon. Even sailboats tipped along the bright sun, with pearly white rocks hugging the sides of the coast. The two boys gazed in awe at the tremendous sight right in front of them, speechless.

“I take it you guys like it, y’er all drooling so much,”

“This is fantastic! I thought you had just a small little cabin near a shitty beach, but this is…” Liam looked at the bright wooden cabin, luxurious windows covering the outside giving you a view of the ocean. There were two floors and a large roof slanted on both sides, it looked damn expensive.

“My dad loves this cabin, so let’s try and keep it tidy and neat,” he opened the doors, a warm gust of drifting air passed by the three as they entered. Even the inside was great, there was an open kitchen, a dining and living room, a giant bathroom and bedrooms.

This was going to be fantastic, Liam knew it.

“So before we get settled in, I’m gonna sort out the rooms real quick. Then, I’ll make a quick stop to the grocery store a mile away. Since you two, you know, are dating… do you two mind the master bedroom?” Niall winked at Liam, avoiding Zayn’s eye contact. He rolled his eyes, sighing. “I don’t mind, do you Zayn?”

“No, not at all. We’ve slept in the same bed multiple times even before we were dating,” Zayn flashed a quick smile. “But do you want us to come with you to the store? I mean, we might as well-“

“Nah mate, it’s all good. You two should relax and settle down for a bit,” another wink to Liam. At this point, he couldn’t make it any more obvious.

Before Liam could even respond, the blonde left to a small bedroom humming a song from the radio they listened to, abandoning Zayn and Liam in the spacious house. Zayn already moved away, gazing out at the open ocean in front of them. His eyes were fixated on every detail there was.

“You act like this is the first time you’ve been to the beach,” Liam laughed, letting his fingers slither into Zayn’s.

“Well, it is actually,”

“Are you serious? You’ve never been to a beach?”

“No… my family never had the chance in Bradford. We stayed in the city,” Zayn sighed, recalling his memories of his old home and the problems with it. A sudden kiss snapped him out of his sense.

“Why don’t we go to the beach now? We can go for a quick swim, just the two of us yeah?” Liam made that sound a lot more flirty than it should have. But Zayn nodded, his raven eyes Liam couldn’t escape the look of.

“Okay, I’ll go to the room and get changed first, then you c-“ Zayn grabbed Liam’s hand, catching all of his attention. “It’s okay, Liam”

“Wh-what?”

“We can change here, it’s fine. I’m okay with it,” Liam was in disbelief at what Zayn said because, embarrassingly, he’s never seen Zayn in his underwear. He was too afraid of rushing the relationship and every time things got hot between them and their make out sessions, Zayn asked to stop.

“Well, if you say so,” Liam shrugged. He grabbed both ends of his shirt, cautiously looking at Zayn to make sure this was okay and tugged it off slowly. Then unbuckled his denim shorts, letting them slide off. He was just in his grey boxer briefs, but felt somewhat embarrassed.

“Holy shit you are really hot,” he heard Zayn. When he looked over his shoulder, Liam was statstruk by his boyfriend.

There was a few tattoos scattered across his chest with defined muscles all over. He looked beautiful, his darker skin let the tattoos shine brighter. Liam was eyeing Zayn all over, from the defined arms and fantastic abs to Zayn’s ass and buldge that can barely fit in his white briefs. Holy shit, Zayn was perfect.

“Wh-what?” Liam stuttered out still in shock from how good looking his boyfriend was. But Zayn realized where he was starring, turning away a bit.

“I know some of my tattoos look dumb, some were a mistake, I wish I could get rid of them…” but Liam gripped Zayn’s quaking hands and let in a deep, passionate kiss. Then his kisses dropped down Zayn’s neck, clearly defined collarbone and then on one of his tattoos shaped like a star. “They’re beautiful babe, you should of told me sooner you had such great tattoos,” Liam mouthed. He flashed a smile that made Liam’s eyes go crazy, the two intimate with each other.

“Uh, am I interrupting your sex session… in the middle of the living room?” the two jolted back, Niall standing by one of the windows. Liam tried to reach for his swim trunks but realized they were behind Niall, the two got carried away for so long they made away from them. He cursed under his breath multiple times.

“W-w-we were j-just changing and..” he scurried, pushing by Niall and putting on his swim trunks as fast as possible. The Irish boy laughed on the side flipping his keys through his finger.

“I left for a bit and you two got that far. Wonder what would have happened if I came by 5 minutes later, Jesus Christ” he chuckled before looking at Zayn. “Really though, Zayn, those are some nice tattoos. Never thought you’d be the guy to have ‘em”

“Really? Well, um, thank you guys. I got them in Bradford during my ’16 and rebellious’ phase,” Zayn smiled while putting on his swim trunks and jewelry. He fixed his earrings and necklace before looking back at Liam. “You ready babe?” the red wave still apparent on Zayn’s face.

“Uh.. Y-Yeah, I’m ready,”

“I’m gonna go to the grocery store so I’ll be back in an hour with lunch and the recipe for dinner. I’ll see you lovebirds later, yeah?” he scurried by Liam. The two said goodbye, leaving them alone again.

“I think we can go out the side,” Zayn said, locking the door behind them. Liam looked at Zayn and admired how beautiful he is under his shirt. He leaned in closer and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Babe, you’re perfect,” Liam hushed into the raven boy’s ear. A grin swept over his face that he couldn’t get rid of.

***

The water rushed against Liam’s legs like a powerful whip. The sun blazed over the stirred skies making his heart jump in excitement. The two boys were in spurious moments of laughter, splashing each other in the water with gallons of smiles to go around. Liam hadn’t felt this good in so long, it’s incredible.

“I got you now!” Zayn yelled, hurling himself at Liam and bringing them down in the water. He splashed the boy, watching his quiff become ruined. Zayn pouted, “Leeyum! I work hard on this every morning!”

“Why did you style your hair when we were going to the beach?”

“I… I didn’t really think that through…” he mumbled. Liam let out another laugh before colliding into him with his arms around Zayn. His skin send shivers down his spine, everything tingling. “Thank you for coming, Liam.” Zayn spoke softly. “I’m glad we could spend time together this summer,”

“Of course, but we still have a lot of the summer to go. We have a lot of memories!”

“I guess so, yeah…” Zayn’s eyes drifted from Liam. The boy grew concerned and drawled in closer to Zayn. “Um.. Liam?”

“Yeah? What’s up?”

“Um, after graduation… and after the summer ends… we will still be a thing, right?” he asked, leading Liam to the shore.

“Zayn, yes. I love you so much, trust me,” he placed a kiss on Zayn’s forehead. “It’ll be rough, yeah, but I know we can do it. Right?”

“Yeah, you’re right. I shouldn’t doubt ya,” another kiss. “But I’m going to be pretty busy this summer, shit sucks,”

“Modeling?”

“Yeah, I got invited to model for Fall and Winter catalogues. I think it’ll be pretty fun so I did it,”

“I’m proud of you, Zayn…” Liam gripped onto Zayn’s hands and swayed them around. “You’re doing great things right now,”

“All thanks to you, and Niall,” the two chuckled in sync. Liam eyed how Zayn’s eyes wrinkled in happiness and how smooth his skin looked. Liam quivered just thinking about it, continuing to hold onto his hands.

“Thanks for what?” a voice interrupted the two. Niall arched by the two in his shorts as well. He was just as pale on his body as he was his face, his hair styled as well. “Did something important happen while I was gone?”

“Not really,” Zayn threw water into Niall’s hair, making it fall also. “Just boyfriend things,”

“I see how it is, Malik,” and Niall splashed back. Soon all three boys engaged war, attacking each other on the beach and throwing each other down. The scorching sand washed away with the rippling water every time they fell down. The beach was empty except the three boys, making this even more amazing.

The rest of the morning and part of the afternoon was the three boys forgetting the world existed, playing around on the beach. They ate their packed lunches and let the sun’s heat wrap around themselves. Liam hadn’t felt this relaxed in a long time, a really long time. He felt joy every moment he glanced at Zayn, dripping wet and his hair down, who looked as happy as him. Even Niall was generally happy too, he could see it with his own eyes. Liam rolled onto the ground, next to his best friend and soul mate. His eyes gazed the cloud barren skies with the bright sun guiding his sight along. A smile crept over his chapped lips.

This was heaven, no doubt about it.

***

Niall had gone out again to get dinner, leaving Zayn and Liam alone again. However, it wasn’t as awkward.

The two were snuggled against each other on the couch in the living room, fully clothed now. Liam was reading from a magazine he picked up on the way over while Zayn lazily read through his emails on his phone. The silence wasn’t bad, it was that comfortable silence some rarely get to experience. Liam was lucky, being able to feel at ease.

“Has anybody ever told you how great you are, Liam?” Zayn’s fingers touched the sides of Liam’s face.

“Yeah, but I never could take them seriously. It only feels right when you say it,” he pushed himself in for a kiss and dropped the magazine. He was more aggressive than normal, his lips pushing against Zayn as they fell onto the couch.

Quickly, Liam’s tongue slide against the roof of Zayn’s mouth. Their tongues wrapped together and explored each other making Liam moan under his breath. He loved this feeling, his hands traveling the sides of Zayn causing him to hitch in his position. Fuck, Zayn was so hot. He continued to kiss at full force, everything around him going to a blank. His hands naturally coursed over Zayn before he pulled back. Liam immediately felt regret and sighed.

“Sorry, I.. I got carried away, I know you-“ but Zayn pressed his finger against Zayn’s lips.

“If we’re gonna have sex babe, let’s do it on something more comfortable. Yeah?”

Liam and Zayn trekked to their room. Sometimes kissing, sometimes slipping on the polished floors. He couldn’t contain his sexual frustrations long enough as they shut the door. Liam’s hips bucked against Zayn, crashing onto the bed. He wrapped around Zayn’s button up flannel, taking out each one while kissing him. He tossed the shirt, kissing down Zayn’s body again. His neck, his collarbone, everything felt good. Zayn’s moans were driving him even harder, his black jeans feeling tense as fuck.

“Fuck b-babe, this is so good, shit,” Zayn could barely talk. Liam pulled his shirt off as well, feeling sweat run down his back. The boy’s fingers maneuvered down Liam’s back, making him shiver in a second. He dropped his kisses lower, down his chest and stomach. “You’re so beautiful Zayn, holy shit,” he spoke in between kisses.

“What about you?” he huffed, groping Liam’s ass through his jeans. The brown boy jumped a bit, making eye contact with Zayn. “Aren’t you kinky,”

“You’re mine and only mine,” Zayn growled, and fuck that was so hot. Without hesitation, his fingers slid over Zayn’s crotch feeling a stiff buldge. He unbuckled his jeans, dragging them across Zayn’s waist and down his legs and taking his socks off with them. Liam joined in quickly, slipping off his jeans and feeling relief as his penis was free from the grip of his jeans.

His tongue went right into Zayn’s mouth, towering over him in his grey boxer briefs. Liam thrust his buldge against Zayn’s, causing the two to moan at the same time. “F-fuck, that feels so good,” Liam whimpered, noticing how Zayn’s penis was trying to push out of his briefs. He broke the kiss, arching Zayn onto his lap and wrapped both of his arms over the raven boy. He grinded himself against Zayn’s ass, kissing as hard as he could. The two were sweating and panting trying to contain themselves. “Fuck babe, I need it so bad,” Zayn moaned, breaking apart. “I want you to fuck me, Liam,”

“Yeah? I’ll do that for ya,” he winked, sliding his hands down, pulling away Zayn’s briefs. After tugging his own underwear too, He tossed them to the side with the other clothes, gripping onto Zayn’s throbbing cock.

He brought his lips over the tip. He placed one kiss, another kiss and could taste some of the precum already. His tongue endlessly drag across Zayn’s cock before wrapping his full mouth around, bobbing it up and down. He could hear Zayn moaning and whimpering, the boys hands ruffling through Liam’s hair. Zayn’s cock felt great, wrapping his tongue around the tip and rubbing the base with his hand.

Sweat was a waterfall going down his back as he continued to suck Zayn’s cock. But fuck, everything felt so good. He never had this much excitement going through him, sex was fantastic.

“F-fuck babe, I think I’m gonna cum, please, I-I need- fuck” the boy was begging, his eyes shaking when they made contact.

“Go for it babe,” and without a second delay, Zayn’s cock burst into ejaculation, semen pumping into Liam’s mouth. The boy whimpered and gasped for air, feeling his member spraying. The room was full of moans and hard breathing, Liam swallowed every bit of it, not once gagging.

“You taste good,” he winked, but Zayn gave him a quick kiss before turning over onto the bed.

“Please, babe. I need you to fuck me,” Liam loved this side of Zayn. Whipping up some lube and licking his fingers, Liam dragged one finger across Zayn’s hole. He shivered, arching his back in excitement.

“I’m putting a finger in, you ready?” he said. Zayn gave a node before Liam inserted his finger slowly. Zayn was tight, extremely tight. He waved his finger around, making space for a second finger. His boyfriend was grunting a bit, but eventually started to relax.

            “Is this too tight? I’m gonna do another finger, okay?”

“N-no, it’s good. Go for it,” Liam’s middle finger inserted as well, causing Zayn to cry out a bit in pain.

“Zayn, it’s ok to stop. You feel super tight, so-“

“Fuck I can’t stop shaking this feels so good. Don’t stop, please” his ass felt warm and tightened around his fingers. He maneuvered them in different directions, making it a lot less harder than it was entering. He let his other hand wrap around Zayn’s cock and could feel how hard it was.

“I’m putting it in, okay?” Liam called. Zayn nodded quickly, too distracted from the things going on when Liam pulled out. Lubing his stiffened cock again , he pushed the tip lightly in. Slowly, his penis went in more and more until finally it was all the way in. He bucked around, pushing in and out.

“Shit you’re so tight, fuck it feels good,” Liam moaned hard, pushing inward and outward quickly. He thrust into a certain point, making Zayn arc back in pleasure. The two were nonstop wheezing.

“F-fuck you feel so good babe,” Zayn huffed out, knowing he couldn’t make sense with his ass getting pounded and his cock getting jerked as well. His eyes were shut, laying down in missionary. Liam’s grip around Zayn’s cock tightened as he thrust faster. They were fucking like dogs and it was incredible.

Zayn’s ass constricted Liam’s throbbing cock making him urge more and more. He was whimpering nonstop. “F-fuck babe I’m gonna c-cum,” Liam cried out.

“Cum in me babe, fuck” Zayn’s ass pushed against Liam, causing his moans to get louder. His fingers gazed over Zayn’s tip, feeling the cum leaking. As his orgasm drew closer, his fingers jerked Zayn quicker.

Liam roared, feeling a burst of cum go into Zayn. He collapsed onto Zayn’s back when Zayn moaned out as well. His throbbing cock leaked more cum, the two having an orgasm in sync. Liam tried to catch his breath as his penis slowly pulled out. It was white and felt sticky, but he could see his cum leaking out of Zayn’s hole slowly.

The two looked right at each other and kissed, feeling their cocks pressing against each other. They collapsed onto the bed, trying to catch their breath. Zayn kissed Liam once more, smiling.

“I’m glad we did this, Zayn… sex is amazing,”

“Yeah, I’m sorry I made us wait so long…”

“Don’t be,” he kissed him again. “Because it was worth it, every moment of this was,” they smiled and laid there for a bit and eventually the two went into the bathroom and cleaned themselves off before Niall got home.

“Best orgasm of my life,” Liam thought in the shower, glancing at Zayn.

***

Niall returned later in the afternoon with chicken, mashed potatoes and a salad for dinner. He eyed Liam and Zayn in curiosity, noticing Zayn’s limp and Liam’s spaced out look. He sneaked by Liam, “Did you two do the dirty?”

“Classified,” Liam replied, flashing a wink. The blonde pumped his fist in the air, returning to the kitchen. Liam shrugged, following along to the kitchen in prevalence of following his mom to cook.

“Let’s do this,” Niall and Liam cheered, turning on the stove and setting up the kitchen for cooking.

However, Liam quickly found out that Niall wasn’t the best cook. From tripping and spilling ranch to setting the mashed potatoes on fire in the microwave, Liam was baffled how bad he was. Zayn rushed in trying to help and he wasn’t that much better either. Eventually it ended with Liam kicking the two out and preparing what was left of dinner. After setting the table and going through hell to prepare the meal, he called the two to the table who sat in the living room like sloths.

 While eating at the table with Niall and Zayn, Liam could hear the distinct sounds of crunching and burnt food. He felt bad, making these two eat.

“Better than what we could do, yeah?” Niall tried to raise Liam’s spirits, in failure. The three promised never to cook for each other ever again after that meal.

***

 “Is that the big dipper?” Liam gazed into the star spilt skies, noticing all of the constellations out. The three boys laid together on the beach, the middle of the night upon them and the warm breezes blowing by.

“That’s the little dipper, the big dipper is over to your left,” Zayn guided Liam’s hand to the side and pointed. “See it?”

“Oh yeah, it looks awesome!” his eyes went over the stars. Liam closed his eyes for a second, taking a deep breath of the air surrounding him. He felt at ease, like the world had stopped for just one moment.

“This is like our final chapter, isn’t it?” Liam said, mainly to himself. “I felt as if this was a book, from the first day of school to here,”

“Yeah, I know what’cha mean mate,” Niall added. “This is our final moment as a senior, our final memory of our Highschool lives. It’s incredible how fast time has gone this year, I still remember when Liam told me how hat you were, Zayn,” Liam blushed, hiding his face in his palms.

“Don’t worry Leeyum,” Zayn cupped Liam’s hands. “The first person I recognized when I walked in was you, and I thought you were very adorable,” he flashed a comforting smile, making Liam feel better and he pecked Zayn on the cheek.

“You know, I said it before, but I want you two to know…” Liam arched his back, pulling the two boys close and wrapping his arm around them. “You two made my last year of high school the best. If I hadn’t have met you Zayn, or hung out with you more often Niall, I would probably have gone insane,”

“You know, Payne,” Niall nuzzled his head into Liam’s shoulder. “You’ve changed in a great way, you had to fight against some hard shit this year. But look at you, look at us. We’ve all come so far,”

“It all started when we picked up trash together,” Zayn mimicked Niall.

“Then we would go to McDonalds frequently, us three and hang out,”

“We went on our ‘friend’ date babe, and played DDR forever,” Liam laughed, remembering that. It was also the first time Zayn cuddled up with him and made him feel better about himself.

“We also went through some bad times. Like when we broke up for a bit because of the people at school, or your anti-social moment back in November,” Zayn grew stiff thinking about it.

“November was a bad month for everyone, but also the month we bonded. You don’t cut yourself anymore, Zayn, and I told Niall how I felt about you,” the brown boy continued looking ahead at the calm waters brushing against the rigid sand. “We’ve come full swing, yeah?”

“You guys…” Niall sobbed, catching the two’s attention. “Shit, you’re all m-making me emotional,” tears stained Niall’s cheeks. “You guys made me feel like I had a place in the world and I had importance. I can’t thank y’all enough for that,”

Zayn and Liam wrapped Niall in a three way group hug, comforting the blonde. They shared a smile, patting his back and ruffling his hair together. “You know, it’s not over for us bro,” Liam said.

“Yeah, we have much more memories after this. Especially you and I,” Zayn laughed. “Can’t wait to see how our college days will go,”

“Even if Liam is gone, he’ll be close to us. 5,000+ miles isn’t that bad, you know…” Zayn stuck out his pinky. “We’re going to stay together, us three as a group. Let’s pinky promise this, right now,”

Liam and Niall nodded, putting the three pinkies together and locking them in place.

“A group until the end, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Liam’s eyes watered in satisfaction. “A group until the end, with my best friend and boyfriend… the only two I ever need!” and the three stood there that summer night, the stars their audience and the winds applauding the boys. It was the most memorable day Liam, Zayn and Niall had together that summer.

***

The three eventually returned home and just in time for graduation. The vacation was a success, they knew they would be busy this whole summer and needed that trip. So when graduation came by, the three throwing their caps into the air (Niall’s hit a girl in the eye, making her cry) it was at that moment they realized they were adults. The world that once ticked by slowly to Liam was now a fast paced ride, with only Zayn and Niall by his side. But he knew he’d be all right.

Zayn continued modeling and even had the chance to go to California for a bit. He was a success, getting photo shoots for Autumn and Winter catalogs. Even if he had a full schedule, Zayn would make time to call Liam for at least 10 minutes to tell him how his day went. Every time Zayn’s name appeared on his phone, Liam smiled.

Niall went with his family to Canada, where he got a job. He even took Deborah, his new girlfriend which he “forgot to tell” the two. Liam and Zayn doubted it at first, but being able to see Niall’s face with radiant smiles and Deborah being as happy, they were a match. They stayed up in Canada for a majority of the summer but they sent postcards and called every day. The one time Niall was punctuate, only for Liam and Zayn.

The summer ticked by as quick as the school year, Liam cursed under his breath when he stood in front of the gate at the SeaTac airport. His mother by his side, glancing around at the clock. The date was August 14th, he had school in 4 days and had his dorm room furnished, ready to go.

“Flight 63 to Wolverhampton, Flight 63 to Wolverhampton boarding,” the announcement swept across the airport. Liam’s mum shook in her feet, glancing down at Liam while her arms clutched Liam tightly.

“Remember, your sisters are out there. You aren’t alone and please feel free to call whenever you want. I love you so much,” she repeated talking—mainly to herself.

“I know mum, I’ll be fine,” he faked a laugh. Honestly, the boy was scared of leaving. He knew this was what he wanted.

“I’m so proud of you, for finally doing what you think is good for you and not for your financial or social status. For you,” she wiped a single tear. She looked in the distance, smiling. “You have a visitor, Liam,” his mum winked.

When he turned around, Zayn was panting in front of him wearing a red button up, black skinny jeans and pearl white shoes. He ran here without a doubt, he could see the sweat dripping from his sides.

“B-babe, I made it…” he jumped into a hug. “I thought I’d miss seeing you off, thank god my photo shoot ended early…” Liam turned to the side, his mum already walking off to her car. It was just the two boys with a few passerby’s on the side. The airport was loud, but to Liam it was silent as he focused on Zayn.

“Zayn, I wanted to sa-“ he interrupted him with a kiss, not wanting to break free. “Shh, if you talk like that I’ll cry. Let me say something, yeah?” Zayn proposed. He nodded, rubbing circles into his boyfriend’s wrists.   

“Liam James Payne, even though you’ll be in another country, I’ll think about you every day. You are my whole world, my star and everything else sappy that I haven’t mentioned. I love you so much you wouldn’t even believe how many times I’ve said those words in my head thinking about you. Because honestly…” Zayn’s eyes were a waterfall of tears. “… you made me realize what true happiness is and helped me get on track with my life. Your love, your smiles, your pride, they all helped me and I can’t thank you enough for that. So Liam, go out to Wolverhampton and show those fucks who you are, do your best and never forget who you are… yeah?”

The two boys sobbing, placed one last kiss. It wasn’t sweet, it was bitter. But it also felt good, knowing this will be the last feeling of Zayn he will ever feel in a long time. The taste of Zayn’s chap stick and the smell of his cologne put him in a trance. It took him all of his power to break away from the kiss before giving one last embrace to Zayn and trekking onto the boarding path. He looked behind, Zayn was waving goodbye with his eyes still stained from tears. He broke eye contact and felt his heart stabbing into pieces, boarding onto the plane. Zayn Malik was gone.

Dealing with the crowd was a hassle but he managed to find his seat in the very back. He scoffed under his breath, stealing the window seat and scanning. No kids, the way Liam likes to travel.

As he sat down, Liam felt something in his pocket crunch against the side of his leg. He slipped his hand in, pulling out a small paper folded up. Slowly, he unfolded the paper and looked down on three simple sentences, covering the entire page.

 

 

**You are never alone.**

**Even if we are farther than the stars and the sand,**

**I am by your side, all the time.**

**-Zayn Javadd Malik-**

“You’re such a sappy twat,” he laughed to himself in the crowded plane.


	23. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the Epilogue, taking place 6 months after Liam headed to Wolverhampton. Thank you guys for everything, this was one of my favorite things to write and I hope to start another series too. Perhaps a different pairing, who knows?
> 
> Take care everyone c:

A cloudy day over the barren skies of Wolverhampton.

Really though, it was like this every other bitter winter day in February. Trees ditched of life were left dancing in the wild winds that moved the city on day after day. Sometimes it snowed, creating a beautiful icy shine to the city but other times it rained, making a depressing aura brush through the grounds. Today however, was a normal cloudy day. A few chilly gusts passed by now and then but the various crowds of people veiling the city with coats of conversation kept everything moving. Needless to say, it was a normal day in Wolverhampton.

For Liam Payne, however, today was the opposite of normal.

He walked endlessly around his apartment, his feet refuting to stop. He couldn’t keep still for a moment because his heart was beating rapidly. A certain box tucked into his back pocket was glued to him as he continued to move about the living space. He didn’t think it would ever happen, he thought it would be a long time before an opportunity like this rose. In fact, that was the plan, but somehow it ended up in this situation and now Liam cannot help but twirl laps around his apartment because he’s coming to visit.

Zayn Malik is coming to visit in a matter of minutes.

***

It came all of a sudden one night, his TV blaring in the background with his Psychology book open. As his eyes maneuvered the page, his phone vibrated on the table causing him to jump a bit. He checked his phone and his eyes lit up to a text from Zayn.

**From: Z Babe <3 / January 15th, 10:34 PM**

**_Hey babe, I need to talk to you now so I’m gonna call you_ **

Before he could even get a chance to respond, his phone lit up again to a picture of Zayn at one of his photo shoots. He couldn’t help it, Zayn looked hot in some of those pictures.

“Babe! Hi! I have to talk to you!” excitement was dripping from the other end. Liam held his ear away from the phone due to how loud he was.

“Hi Zayn, what’s up? If it’s about you landing another audition, you know you don’t have to call me for every single one,” he grumbled a bit, despite loving how excited he gets. Liam gave a quick glance to his shelf, seeing one of his H&M magazines with Zayn on the cover in a full black suit and tie.

“It’s bigger than that! I wanted to ask you something important,”

“Okay, what is it?” he responded. The line went silent, Zayn’s breathing somewhat hearable though. He could tell his boyfriend was in thought from the way his voice broke now and then.

“Well, you know how I’ve been taking more shoots lately and how we couldn’t talk much because of it?” he trailed on. “It’s because I was making extra money so that I could…”

“Could what? Zayn?” he called, worried the phone was losing signal again. It’s hard keeping a signal, being thousands of miles away and all.

“I saved enough money to buy a plane ticket to England!” Liam felt a shock run laps through his bones before a smile tugged his lips. His eyes lit up and his fingers trembled, losing grip of his cell phone. He was speechless, after months of not seeing Zayn it was happening. He felt tears trying hard to escape because of how overwhelmed he was.

“Liam? Are you there?” he forgot about his boyfriend still on the other line. Quickly, he snatched his phone from the corner of his couch.

“When are you coming?!” he tried his hardest not to shout.

***

Now, Liam waited with a heart beating rapidly. He now clutched onto the familiar box his mother gave him almost a year ago—still not having opened it. It was something he’s wanted to give Zayn forever, now is the perfect time.

Constantly, he twisted his head and took peaks at his clock. Zayn was to arrive around 1, and there was only 3 minutes left. There were so many things he wanted to do. Liam wanted to hold Zayn, have tea with him and kiss his lips again and again. It’s the price he paid for going back to Wolverhampton for college and not staying back in Seattle.

A doorbell pierced his ears, making all of the hairs on his arms stand up in shock and excitement. He lunged for the door, undoing all the locks and opening the door. Liam’s eyes opened up. “Zayn, I’ve missed y-“ he stopped.

“Zayn? Uh… Liam…?” a younger man with aqua tinted hair stood in his frame. He batted his cerulean eyes confused, eyeing Liam in curiosity. “You know my name, right?”

“Oh, Calvin. Hi,” he accidentally sounded disappointed. Calvin was his neighbor and also majoring the same as Liam. He was also from New York City, coming to Wolverhampton with a thick accent and a bit more stubborn than the natives. However, Liam and Calvin got along greatly. They study together constantly and keep each other company because both have a partner back at home they miss every day.

“Are you dropping off my calculator?”

“Well, that’s the plan. Why did you call me Zayn, anyway? I mean, you said he lives in Seattle right? How did you mistake me for—“ he stopped, eyes widening after realizing the situation. “Shit, wait. Hold up. Is he… is he coming over here?! Now?!”

“Well, yeah. Sooner or later,”

“I’m not gonna hold ya time then,” he hurled the calculator onto Liam’s couch and sprinted away. “Come say hi to me after you two settled down!” he hollered from afar. Liam waved, just as confused as ever because he could never understand what that guy was thinking half the time. He pitched out a sigh, glancing at his calculator.

“I know some of the strangest people, I swear…” he spoke out loud, looking at the dim skies, getting ready to close the door.

“Strangest people, huh Leeyum?” a familiar voice shoots him sideways. He takes a glance, and another, realizing who it was.

“Z… Za-“ Liam can’t finish the sentence. The dark quiffed hair, the skin, the eyes that catch a soul, it was him all right.

“Zayn!” Liam lunged and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, him doing the same. He felt his heart run miles the way Zayn’s cologne smelt, his body making him feel warm despite the cold weather. All of this he hadn’t felt in six months. Six long months he was away from Zayn in another country.

“Hey Li,” he placed a kiss onto his forehead. “I missed you,”

“I missed you too,” their lips locked. The sensation driving Liam up the wall the way Zayn’s lips tasted. Their lips connected just right causing his vision to go hazy for a second from how long it’s been. They broke away, gazing at each other. “I missed you so fucking much,”

The two, hand in hand, walked into Liam’s apartment and closed the door. Zayn placed himself on the couch, glancing around the room. “This is really nice, seeing it in person farther than Face Time is so much better,”

“I’m glad you like it,” Liam brought two cups of herbal tea over. They sat side by side, hand in hand tangled into each other.

“Is that… me?” he looked at the picture of him on the magazine Liam kept. “Oh my god, you kept it? Why? I look so weird!”

“You’re beautiful, shut the hell up,” he gave Zayn a peck, a blush warping on his face. The two resided back into the couch, Liam getting hold of his tea.“How’s Niall?”

“He’s doing good. He works at a bakery right now with his girlfriend. Deborah is graduating early to go work with Niall. They’re pretty serious, y’know,” Zayn took a sip of his tea. “I’m proud of him, he found someone good for him despite the drama that happened along the way”

“We’ve all come a long way since high school, without a doubt,” he smiled, putting his drink down. “That’s why to celebrate how far we’ve come and our year and 2 months relationship, I got you something. It was from my mom before graduation,” Liam flashed a grin. “Close your eyes, babe,”

Zayn’s eyelids shut while Liam opened the small box. He took out the objects—two ring, smaller sized promise rings with a sapphire implanted on one, ruby on the other. His mother used to wear the sapphire a long time ago, with his father wearing ruby. Liam was shocked, imagining the reasoning why she gave him these rings but disregarded it for now. He slid the sapphire onto Zayn’s nimble fingers. The fit was perfect. “Take a look,”

Zayn’s face lit up, gazing down at the sapphire. “Liam, oh my god… I’m… this is beautiful. Matching promise rings?”

“Yeah,” he tried to play it off, in reality not knowing they were rings until 5 seconds ago. He flashed his ruby one he casually slid on beforehand. “We’re a bit young for marriage, but I think what you and I have is something special babe, I wanna be with you…” Liam placed a kiss onto Zayn’s temple, their foreheads connecting. “What do you think? About us?”

“What do I think? Well…” he gave a quick peck. “I think I’m 110% in love with you, Liam James Payne. Let’s keep it that way, yeah?” the two shared a flirtatious smile and laugh. Liam’s hand cupped onto Zayn’s tightly.

“I think I’m 110% in love with you too, Zayn Javadd Malik. Let’s definitely keep it that way”


End file.
